Everybody already thinking about an AvPD meeting

I'd like we could see us face to face.
It should be a place right for everyone, and you know, as avoidants we have some time to get all ready.
What's your opinión?

I don't know if I see any purpose in meeting everyone IRL.

The topic came up a while ago about meeting other avoiders. i have to agree that forcing ppl together because they share social awkwardness isn't going to produce a fun time. unless maybe there is alcohol involved. And i remember skyz said she tried it and saying there wasn't any 'group leaders' stepping up to make decisions.

What do you think would make such a meeting a worthwhile experience twister? How would you get people to loosen up?

I guess i'd like to meet in Switzerland so I could ski the alps and share a cup of hot cocoa with you guys in the lodge afterwards.

hey, I made a joke that we should meet in Switzerland. It is the most neutral country, right?

haha. yes it is.


You're from europe, right HR?

Maybe Brazil during Carnival instead. we can all dress up in goofy overly revealing costumes. That would be an ice breaker.

There is another neutral country, not now, but it was neutral for long. This is why the Spanish flu was name Spanish.

Hey, don't gonna take me to ski. The only snow I ever saw is the cold dices in my mojito.

I've read through the forums and would like to meet a lot of people from here. But yeah, I suppose most people here appreciate that they can stay anonymous.

I also wouldn't know how to act - I am pretty good at "faking it", but do I try to act relatively cheery and easy going - or will I intimidate someone? Or they'll think I show off or something? Or should I just sit and be silent and only reply when asked and try to talk in low voice - or would we all then stay in awkward silence? Should I be proactive in telling people I'd like to keep interacting or would it scare them? And if I don't, will they think I didn't like them?

It could also trigger some people I suppose - for example, you had a great time with another avoidant, you think they'll want to keep on messaging etc. However they (being avoidant) disappear without a trace. You (being avoidant) realise that it's probably cause of PD, but you still (being avoidant) feel rejected. Maybe they just didn't like you after all!

I am a pretty good person to meet up with in my opinion. I need visa to travel to Europe and USA, I live relatively far and if I bothered someone, they could always report me, revoking my visa. So I am not the potential stalker anyone should worry about.

venividivicky wrote:It could also trigger some people I suppose - for example, you had a great time with another avoidant, you think they'll want to keep on messaging etc. However they (being avoidant) disappear without a trace. You (being avoidant) realise that it's probably cause of PD, but you still (being avoidant) feel rejected. Maybe they just didn't like you after all!
\

not only avoidant, but shares some paranoid features as well.

Personally, I wouldn't mind the meeting, but the very thought is a bit scary. Somehow I like when people don't know too much about me. When they know they tend to judge me, and usually it is in a negative way.

I compartmentalize. So I feel uncomfortable when one part of my life intersects with another. It's not that I have anything to hide in particular, I am just this way.

But the thought of meeting people I'll never see again doesn't really bother. Hell I'll probably be nicer in person than I am in forums.

ETA: Also, when people have low expectations of me, it's easier. I hate to disappoint people - when they flatter me, tell me that I am smart or that they care about my opinion, I just want to see and show them LESS. But here I am already established as a social failure etc, so no expectations!

venividivicky wrote:I've read through the forums and would like to meet a lot of people from here. But yeah, I suppose most people here appreciate that they can stay anonymous.

I also wouldn't know how to act - I am pretty good at "faking it", but do I try to act relatively cheery and easy going - or will I intimidate someone? Or they'll think I show off or something? Or should I just sit and be silent and only reply when asked and try to talk in low voice - or would we all then stay in awkward silence? Should I be proactive in telling people I'd like to keep interacting or would it scare them? And if I don't, will they think I didn't like them?

It could also trigger some people I suppose - for example, you had a great time with another avoidant, you think they'll want to keep on messaging etc. However they (being avoidant) disappear without a trace. You (being avoidant) realise that it's probably cause of PD, but you still (being avoidant) feel rejected. Maybe they just didn't like you after all!

I am a pretty good person to meet up with in my opinion. I need visa to travel to Europe and USA, I live relatively far and if I bothered someone, they could always report me, revoking my visa. So I am not the potential stalker anyone should worry about.

Veni, I was thinking about you as the leader because you are a traveller.
I can't guess how the guys will feel when they say a beautifull Russian girl.

There was a very active mod here who is my friend and he said to me that he had meetings with people from psychforums. I'm gonna ask him how did it go.