Hi, I'm new.

Hi Everybody. I'm new here and this is actually my first time ever participating in a forum. I've not been diagnosed with AVPD however I do have a lot of the characteristics of an avoidant personality. I'm actually really nervous about writing anything and almost didn't. I also apologize in advance for my writing; it tends to a bit sporadic because I am not the most articulate of people.

I'm a high school senior and right now I am taking three AP classes. I do really good with the academic part of school but I suffer with the social part which is kind of bad since a lot of my classes revolve around class discussions and I am not so great with them. I strugled with the fear of rejection my entire life and I am terrified of having somebody be mad at me or offending somebody by saying the wrong thing.

Lately, things have been getting worse and I am now seeing a therapist. My largest problem is real or imagined rejection from my mother who used to be my biggest support. Here lately if something happens and I get upset like if I say or do the wrong thing and try to tell my mother about it, she acts like its no big deal and that I am being unreasonable by acting the way I do. Not only is the fact that she either no longer cares or no longer seems to understand me very frustrating but also highly painful. This is the first time that somebody who I trusted completely has turned on me, so to say, and I am having a hard time dealing with it. However, in my mother's defense she has had a lot of issues of her own lately and this could be the cause of her changed attitude. But it still hurts and I still can't help sometimes thinking that I did something wrong to warrant this change even though if I sit and think about it I can't come up with anything I could possibly have done. It is just highly frustrating that I can't find anybody, other than my therapist, that understands me.

As for why I decided to finally post something, I have been lurking (for lack of a better word) for a while now but could never get up the nerve to post anything. When I told my thereapist about the forum she seemed to think it would be a good idea for me to try and post something so here I am. Anyway thanks for reading what I wrote and sorry for the length I wanted to write it all down before I lost my nerve to say anything at all.

Thanks for sharing Kerena, I hope you continue to do so. Welcome!

Hi kerena.I'm new here too and like you i lurked for a considerable time before finding the courage to post.I also have a terrible fear of rejection and of saying the wrong thing.Writing things down and talking things through will help,so keep posting.x

Hi Kerena and braveheart.

To encourage you: remember this forum is all about talking about yourself. If nobody would talk about him/herself here, this place would be empty.

Thanks a lot for replying guys. It really makes me feel welcome.

Hi Kerena and braveheart, Welcome!

There's 2 things that struck me while reading your opening post. Firstly, I certainly don't think there's anything sporadic about your post, I think it was very well written. Most people on here understand that people can be very random in posts if they aren't having a good day/week/life as well, so don't be hard on yourself there.

Secondly, and this is something that's easier said than done, don't be afraid to post! I can't talk, I still procrastinate for ages before posting, but I'm still trying, because like others have said, this forum would be very quiet if no-one said anything.

Enjoy your stay, and keep posting!