Happy thoughts thread

Post all your happy thoughts in here, and what steps you've taken to overcome AvPD! It'll be much neater, I reckon, than having threads all over the place.

As for me, yeah, I'm feeling quite pleased with myself right now. I have done the following this week:

- Managed to get a partner for my social pharmacy project when I was despairing since none of my friends were in my workshop, and the requirement was that they had to be in the same workshop as you (though I do admit she approached me first, I'm still happy!)
- Managed to pluck up the courage to tell my mum that I'm volunteering on my uni's open day for Year 12's, and she was like, 'ok'--YESS!!!!!!!! WINNAR! (sorry, but telling my mum anything requires extra courage than usual)
- Have e-mailed my old group of Year 12 friends asking if anyone would like to meet up at my uni open day since I'll be down in the city for a good few hours and can meet up beforehand (taking the initiative here--I feel great! Even if no-one replies, I at least have done something
- Done the same for my two friends currently in Year 12.
- Managed to get a new partner for my chemistry lab--yes!
- Asked my uni group of friends if anyone would like to go window shopping in the unexpected 4 hour break we received, and though no-one agreed, I still feel good about myself, and one was rather regretful that she couldn't come, since she had a quiz to study for and had no money, so didn't want to tempt herself.
- Have enquired about debating (start small first, I've already volunteered for 3 things this semester! wanna improve my clubs & socs involvement too, but this is a start!)
- Have enquired about the pharmacy students' association's social activities, including table tennis (yum!), pubcrawl (can't attend, still 17), and a T-shirt slogan competition for the association for next year! (i.e. something along the lines of 'I do drugs....professionally')
- Someone said she's gonna join up for tennis, and I said that yeah, we can play together when my timetable permits it (since she's only taking 2 subjects this semester--I have full-time load of 4) [she said so last week actually, but we reconfirmed it again this week]
- Have hung around more people--written up a list of 'vaguely interesting' people I could meet, since that's what my counsellor told me to do, and am going to try to rotate around them everyday.
- Of course, seeking counselling was the best thing I did--resulted in a few tears, but that was relieving
- Have managed to find myself a decent peer group for bio lab this semester!
- Went out during a three hour break at uni to the shopping centre down the road and showed my potential 'friend' (good acquaintance though, lovely girl) around--she's never been there, despite it being just down the road from uni because she's working a very hectic schedule, travels 30 minutes to uni each way, and studies (or sleeps--she's always fatigued) during her breaks.
- Someone said 'hi!' to me today, and I totally forgot about her (oops!) and I sat next to her in the next workshop and she introduced me to her friends! They're not quite my type, but at least I know more people! I thought she wasn't interested in making friends with me, but she was really quite nice about it...hmm...sometimes you get unnecessarily depressed about the fact that people don't 'like' you when actually they do!
- Made a new potential acquaintance/friend too in the same workshop above--we were talking about our grades from last semester, what school we went to--yeah
- Acquaintance/friend from above point--her friend also was like, 'hi!' We've seen each other before from another acquaintance/friend we shared, and she just was a very quiet kind of person, so I thought, meh, but hey, you never know!

I think that's all for now, but yeah, I'm quite proud of myself! However, I did go into a depressive episode when we given our pharmacy assignment to pair up with another person, and thought, omg, but it seemed to have sorted itself out, so what can I say?

I think this has been one of the longest periods of time (one week) where I actually feel good about myself regarding social relationships. Even with my depressive episode, instead of moping around, I actively tried to positive self-talk myself out of it, so I'm quite proud, in retrospect, that I did try my best to actually get out of it!

What about you guys? Long post eh but I just had to share it with you all--one week to me of relative social 'normality' is really quite bliss!

good job lala! it sounds like you are really doing a lot to get better. that is really awesome!

my list for now might be a little short but...but here it goes:

-- as of right now i have lost 15 pounds in the last six months through healthy eating and exercise (okay it isn't related to apd, but it has helped with my self esteem, and therefore my overall mental outlook. i am still trying to lose some more, but i am happy with where i am at right now. and i am practicing not feeling ashamed of myself or the way i look in public in front of other people. who cares what they think? anyhow my husband thinks i am beautiful. maybe someday i will look in the mirror and see that too. i am trying.)

-- i bought a book last night about healing from sexual abuse. (okay this isn't related either but it is really good and i think it is going to be really helpful for me overall. i have ben avoiding the whole issue even since i have started back in therapy and it has really been causing a lot of turmoil for me. i have pushed it inside for 11 years now. but i am making the first steps to properly address the problem. so YEAH ME!!!)

-- i am making an effort to use positive self-talk more often, and hopefully soon i will be able to use it to combat the really powerful negative self-talk that i have been struggling with lately...I AM a good person. people DO like me. I AM smart. I AM interesting. I AM a good friend. I AM a good wife. I AM a good sister. I DESERVE to be healthy. I DESERVE to have good friends that care about me. I HAVE THE RIGHT to take care of myself and stick up for myself when i am being taken advantage of. I DESERVE to be happy!

::hugs::

great thread lala!!!

erin

Haha, thanks Erin! I'm glad to see that you've made good progress too--it's all about raising self-esteem first and addressing problems such as sexual abuse, before you can start to do anything else.

Great idea for a thread lala

This has been a week of me stretching way out of my comfort zone. The list is very very short, but it's a start.

I managed to get myself out of my condo and attend a ladies bible study group.

I went with a group to a ladies night out...which also required me to do some pretty far driving and I made it back home.

I made plans to do something with a family member this Sunday.

Sweetngentle

Thanks sweetngentle (ooo...nice name!) Good to see you too have been making progress! Keep the progress going everybody!

Progress report:

1) Invited people to a party at my house. (This is the first time I organize a party, despite of having a messy house and bad furniture etc. Had major anxiety before because people might contempt me for the way I live, so never invited anyone although living there for several years.)

2) Was offered new position (not contract, but permanent) in current organization and even brought up the fact, that I would like to take unpaid leave. Set up appointment with HR to negotiate contract.

3) Told singing instructor what I want, got it and did not simply throw in the towel. Was very close to that.

Those are the big and obvious things. Very proud for now and a little anxious.

Dragonfly.

Bravo Dragonfly
Wow, you have really gone beyond your comfort zone and I admire you for it

Sweetngentle

Thanks, sweetngentle.

I'll update you guys on how everything turns out.

Update on party last Saturday: It went well with a turnout of 23 people. The real success is, however:
a) stayed relatively calm beforehand (no nervous breakdown or family fight)
b) accepted imperfect house and people seeing it (did not turn into perfectionistic cleaning devil)
c) did not feel 100% responsible for the mood of every single guest (although there was one, I started monitoring with - darn)

Interestingly, I realized we have a lot of shy friends. I was especially happy to see one guy show up, who I am sure is avoidant also.

On the downside, there was some anxiety the day after when I started overanalysing many things, as if I had to put check marks beside each item before storing it in memory. Anyways, since I know I am AvPD, I don't pay it too much attention and will bring it up with my sis next time we talk.

Good Going Dragonfly!
I think you did a terrific job handling the party and your thoughts. I know what you mean about being responsible for other's moods. I tend to be lie that. But if the host/hostess sets a positive mood I think the party is pretty much a pure success.

Anyways ...I'm so poud of you!!!!

Sweetngentle