resentment

I've only really just found out about the likes of AvPD and BPD etc, but I've been feeling depressed for more than a year now. I never had a great deal of friends, but I always generally liked people. but recently, I've started to feel some resentment towards people. I get funny looks (or what I perceive to be funny looks) all the damn time, and I always feel like I'm on the back foot when socializing. I end up taking offence very easily, even if it's a little joke, it goes right to my heart. And I seem to be getting annoyed at people in general, because even though i try to be a good person, and i think that all humans are equal no matter what, they seem to see me as a lower being, because of the fact that i get nervous when socializing. i don't know where to look, I cant hold eye contact, I fidgit, and people notice. I don't really want to react with anger, violence doesn't solve anything, but I feel like I'm going to get angry with someone soon.

Does anyone feel like this?

I've dealt with resentment and anger for a long time. I think in my case they act as coping mechanisms in the sense that if I have hostility towards the other people in social situations it allows me to distribute the blame rather than carry the burden of awkwardness by myself. I know in the long run my misanthropic way of thinking is unhealthy, but at the same time it keeps me from totally self-destructing in the worst situations.

But I can also really feel what you're going through when you express that you try not to feel negatively towards others but it seems as if they're not treating you as an equal. I don't know how I can help you or what I could ever suggest, but I've gone through the same thing. This is one of those things that haunts me privately. I try to give people a chance and I want to see the good in everybody, though in actual social situations every composed thought I've ever had on the matter goes right out the window. I'm so preoccupied with defense that positive thoughts and perceptions are laughably out of reach.