Egotistic or unheard?

K, mods before you say wrong topic, i am avpd, and im wondering if the following is just me, or consistant with other avpds...
Im completely selfish, I constantly feel as if im the worst off in the world and nobody cares, but the thing is they do care...
I feel like such an asshole, being so selfish. I want to care about other people, I really do, but I can never find the words to say to even act as if I cared.
Like, for example, if some guy was in tears over breaking up with his girlfriend, I immediately think "i dunno what your so sad about, atleast youve known love.", but deep down i can really understand the pain he must be going through. On the other hand, I kinda do have a point, like nobody ever cares about the 'losers' who cant get a girl, infact theyd rather constantly put me down for being so hopeless with girls, instead of help them find a girl or even cheer them up...does that seem fair or am i being egotistic again lol...im hopelessly lost when it comes to emotions...maybe ive got aspergers?
Does anyone else ever feel this way?
oh, and a quick off topic remark... why is this site so blue? It makes everything so sad... or is it just me?

people always think i'm selfish because i am so wrapped up in my own suffering etc, but the way i see it is that i don't trust anyone enough to let them get close to me or help me, so i can't depend on them to care...so its all on me...or something...i also think that i have enough $#%^ going on already and i don't have the strength to really help much with other people's problems...but you're right...people who have gone through bad relationship breakups etc are treated so much better than me who has been single for 5 years which i think is just as bad...its like they think it doesnt matter...i dont know anything about aspergers besides what i have seen that guy on boston legal do...so i can't really advise you on that...

i like the blue, because it matches my hair....its probably meant to be calming or something...

I'm not with you on this one, Fried Piper. I'm not selfish and doubt anyone thinks of me as selfish. I try very hard to be kind and please others -- maybe it's my way of trying to obtain their friendship, or just the way I am. I would find it easier to understand how others treat me, if I wasn't so good to them.

I don't have a problem with the blue, either.

I kind of agree with you Fried. I don't think of myself as selfish though. I do geniunely care about other people and their problems, even though I may think that theiy're the pettiest problems people could have. When people I know talk to me about all the dates they go on and how they reject this one and that one because of shallow, stupid reasons, yet I haven't been on a date in years, it just plain pisses me off. I can't quite express myself properly in speaking words, so I probably come off as I don't care.
I know I'm not the worst off in the world, although to be honest, sometimes I feel like it. I feel guilty for feeling that way though. There are people in the world suffering, handicapped, homeless, etc. yet all I can focus on is how miserable and lonely my life is. It just pisses me off when people tell me "oh I had such a rough life" when in reality their life was so rough because they're spoiled brats who didn't always get what they want. They have no idea what real pain and despair is.
I like the blue of this site. Blue is my favorite color, I don't always associate blue with sadness, I also find it calming.

I kind of agree with you, Fried. I don't think of myself as selfish though. I do geniunely care about other people and their problems, even though I may think that theiy're the pettiest problems people could have. When people I know talk to me about all the dates they go on and how they reject this one and that one because of shallow, stupid reasons, yet I haven't been on a date in years, it just plain pisses me off. I can't quite express myself properly in speaking words, so I probably come off as I don't care.
I know I'm not the worst off in the world, although to be honest, sometimes I feel like it. I feel guilty for feeling that way though. There are people in the world suffering, handicapped, homeless, etc. yet all I can focus on is how miserable and lonely my life is. It just pisses me off when people tell me "oh I had such a rough life" when in reality their life was so rough because they're spoiled brats who didn't always get what they want. They have no idea what real pain and despair is.
I like the blue of this site. Blue is my favorite color, I don't always associate blue with sadness, I also find it calming.

thats cool...i watch boston legal too
but as for aspergers, read:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger's_syndrome
I do find it hard to guage others emotions, or even relate to their feelings at all...i do make very little eye contact, if any at all..
and i quote

They also have trouble showing empathy with other people. Because of this, a person with Asperger syndrome might be seen as egotistical, selfish or uncaring

Some are also unable to block out certain repetitive stimuli, such as the constant ticking of a clock.

and this which is wierd, because for like 5 years there was a clock in my room i couldnt find, but could hear ticking all through the night. lol, very annoying.

I’m usually quite unsympathetic when it comes to other people’s relationship troubles and love sickness. I’m not sure I’m worse off being single, but since I have no real experience with love sickness I just can’t understand what they are going through, so all my protestations of empathy are usually fake. Moreover most lovesick people I have known recuperated quite soon and focused on some other object of desire within a couple of months. As someone whose life hasn’t really changed a bit in 10 years, it is hard for me to take any problem seriously that is so temporary as to only last a few months… But suffering is subjective and I believe everyone who tells me they feel terrible because they’ve been dumped etc., I just don’t really get it on an emotional level.

I've often worried I'm narcissistic. I can't seem to emphazie with people. There ar emany topics in the world that I have absotely no opinion on and a lot of people wouldn't understand that. I just don't feel much beyond my own inner turmoil and that makes me feel like a bad person. Granted, people don't see me that way becuase I try to understand but sometimes I just curl up in a ball and die slowly.
In my fantasies, if the object of my affection, who does not know I exist, has been in a relationship for years, I imagine them breaking up and then him finding me and we end up together. This also makes me feel like a bad person. How can I ask for a relationship that long to end? All for me? Or my fantasies? I know its normal but sometiems I feel like a bad person. So fried, i'm with you. I know how you feel.
Renalda Avery

I think alot of people feel emotions becase they are led to believe these are the emotions that they are meant to feel by some external factor. I know alot of people who watch day-time tv are over dramatic, like my mum. But, im really not sure if emotions are naturally sincere or whether theyre learnt through observation...
Maybe im just really f-ed up, but sometimes when things go really wrong i dont cry or frown, i just laugh and say "well, thats life for ya" or get really twitchy and overwhelmingly anxious.

Its also wierd when im trippin, i just dont know how to hold my face...I start twitching whilst im trying to naturally show my emotions. Other people just laugh or smile, but i just cant seem to hold my face still. Its like i lack the naturally fluency of emotions so many other people take for granted.

i don't like showing emotion because i feel that it draws attention to myself...or something........often i will think of something funny and it will make me laugh, but i don't want people looking at me, so if there are other people around i will always cough and kind of hide my face to stop anyone from noticing...i cry really really easily....all the time....like at least a few times every day....and it's annoying......because people are always fricken upsetting me.....and then i look stupid because they think they've done nothing wrong....