Self Esteem?

http://www.tljones.co.uk/apd/apd.htm [click on Manifestation of APD link]

"In terms of appearance, íf ít ís affected at all by APD, ít will tend to be affected ín one of 3 ways. 1st, avoidants may put considerable time & effort into making themselves attractive to others. The idea behind this ís, at least they will be liked for their looks, íf not for themselves. 2nd, they may consciously, or unconsciously, ensure that their appearance drives others away. This provides them with some control over their lives. Rather than waiting helplessly to be rejected, they ensure rejection from the start by their own actions. 3rd, ín the case of avoidants who are suffering from PTSD, for example, they may dress ín the style of the era when the trauma occurred. This form of dress ís an indication that they are living ín the past."

You may have more issues than just AvPD. Knowing how others make you feel, don't you feel any empathy for the "friends" who aren't "good enough" for you? Are they superficial, as you classify yourself? I'm not sure what to suggest (nor that I'm qualified to do so). Have you considered doing some volunteer work? You will meet other volunteers who aren't superficial and you will meet less fortunate people who may make you stop seeing yourself as poor and worthless.

johndoe, I think I know what you mean re those contradictory feelings towards friends that you mention. (On the one hand you feel inferior to them, on the other you think they aren't good enough for you.)
On the one hand I compare myself with the people I know and often have to realize that they have a successful work life, love life etc. and I don't, and I feel ashamed of myself. On the other hand I feel that I deserve friends who care even more about me, who understand me even better, who have more interests in common with me etc. And then I'm ashamed that I can be so egocentric, because one should really accept one's friends like they are.