Confusions about *specific* social situations

When I started reading the posts on this forum, I had to smile at how eerily similar everyone else's experiences have been with mine. I couldn't believe there were other people out there like me.

I admit that I'm a little bit quirky and not well-versed in the art of normal social skills, but believe you me, I try. Certain situations confuse me, and I'm hoping some of you kindred souls might be of help.

1. When you're eating in the cafeteria, and the person next to you starts talking to you. You have a great conversation. Two weeks later, you pass them on campus, and they have completely forgotten you. I always remember people's names and what the conversation was about, but they never remember me. What's the point of talking to people in the cafeteria if they just forget your name or sometimes even forget you ?



2. If an extrovert/normal person is talking to me, and someone she knows walks by she would immediately stop the conversation and loudly blurt out "hi" to her friend and then she would start talking to her friend---and forget about me. When I'm talking with my introverted/abnormal friends they always continue our conversation after an interruption. Are you saying that the "normal" thing is to say hi to your friend who just arrived and leave the person you were previously talking to ?????



3. Similar to number 1. During the beginning of the semester, I met people that I had great conversations with. When I pass them on campus now, they either look away or have forgotten me or something. What's the point of meeting people if they will just forget you ? And my curse seems to be that I always remember people. I have a pretty good memory when it comes to names and things like that. Maybe I just place more importance on conversations than normal people? Is it the normal thing then to look at conversations as just trivial and "in the moment?" At least this is what it seems like.

Yep, I felt that way when I first saw this forum, though I've never been diagnosed.

I've had the same questions about specific social situations, for example I'd have a short conversation with a stranger (short because I wimped out), and kinda went off by myself for a while. I was going to leave the place entirely and didn't know if I should say goodbye to them or not.

When I asked someone what you normally do, he said "there is no such thing as a normal way. Some people do, and some people don't." And it's true. If you try to act like a normal person too much, it's just stressful to act so fake. I gave up on that and decided that my judgment had some worth, and that if I pissed someone off maybe it's their problem (and maybe not). Anyway.

1. It's just the experience of talking to people, I think. Forgotten conversations and encounters add to you in a way you don't notice. People forget you because they have ten times /more/ social encounters to push that memory out of their minds, while for you it may have been a rare and stressful experience, which is hard to forget.

2. I would continue the conversation where it was interrupted. But everyone's different. Don't take it personally if you can't compete with their friend for attention (I have before...>.>)

3. Same as 1. Funny, I have the opposite problem now, people say hi to me and I panic because I can't remember them, and they walk off offended. I'm really bad at putting names and faces together.

Just remember that there are no rules to being a "normal" person. There isn't even a line between normal and abnormal, and the imaginary line is in a different place for everyone. If you're going to try to be something, try to be yourself. (I know how worthless that advice is too. I'm sorry.)