Fear of rejection

Hi all,

This is kind of strange, I've got a lot of good friends but still I think I have APD. The thing is, I don't avoid people, I avoid women. I recognize everything I read about APD, but only with women. I took an official test on the internet, and I was diagnozed APD.

Were you unwilling to get involved with people unless you were certain they liked you?
Yes, if they're women

Were you afraid to get really close to people because of your fear of being shamed or ridiculed?
Yes, if they're women

In social groups were you almost always very self-conscious and tense?
Yes, if there are women in the group

Were you shy or inhibited in new social situations because you felt inadequate?
Yes, if there are women

Were you too unsure of yourself to risk trying something new?
Yes, if women are involved

How much harm to yourself or others does your fear of rejection or low self-esteem now cause?
Severe Harm to Self

Socially, how much difficulty does your fear of rejection or low self-esteem now cause?
Moderate Difficulty

(I answered "no" to the other questions)

I play soccer and I'm studying computer science, boys things. I wish I was gay but I'm not.
Please help!

To be AvPD I think it would have to include an avoidance of both sexes. To be just avoiding women might be some other problem that could very well be better helped in the Relationships forum.


Have you had girlfriends in the past? Do you have sisters? Have you any history at all of being open and talkative to a female?

Kevster

Ok, can this topic be moved to the relationships forum?

I don't have any sisters, and I never had a girlfriend. I kissed three girls. In all three occasions we were both drunk, and she took the initiative. It lasted for only one evening. I have once in my life had an open conversation with a woman. It was after she assured that I was very special and she liked me very much (allthough not in that way).

I think the cause was in kindergarten. I went to school for the first time when I was 4, and everything was new and I was a little afraid. Luckily, I made (female) friends immediately. The first days or weeks very much fun and I played with all the girls. But then a girl stepped towards me and said "It was fun playing with you, but you're a boy, you should play with the boys". I felt awkward and later I went to another girl but she said the same. I felt a complot and severe rejection by all girls.
So I decided to play with the boys, which went okay and I made a lot of friends, but I think the cause of my fear of rejection by women lies here.

I'm a moderator but not of the AvPD forum so I cannot move. Just start up a new thread there and copy the text from your original post here. I can relate to what you say though for I am also scared of girls... ...well, girls that I am attracted to. I think it's normal though.


What you must do is force yourself to be in contact with girls. Only through experience will this problem alleviate itself.

Fear of rejection is a major obstacle and characteristic of my avoidance issues.

Not only fear of being rejected in social circles, but also avoiding pursuing a career that uses my God-given talent because if someone were to criticize that, or reject that, then it would be a rejection of my self. So, my creativity has been dampened so badly that I worry it may never be resurrected.

I find that the moment I pursue my creative interests, I start to descend into extreme self-doubt (that nasty gremlin self-talk), numbness, lethargy, disinterest, sadness. I end up feeling physically sick and just want to lie in bed and sleep. It's funny, this avoidance thing. It's like a little (yet powerful) demon that seeks to annihilate me along with the gifts God gave me. Thankfully I am working to battle this demon. Thankfully I can share my journey here with folks who can relate at least somewhat. And thankfully I believe in a Higher Power that can restore me to sanity!