New to the forums

Hello everyone.

I just stumbled on these forums when I was googling information on avoidant personality disorder. I thought I would introduce myself (easy enough to do - behind the veil of the internet).

Anyway. I'm a 20 y.o male. I've had issues with avoiding people for a very long time now.. since maybe middle school. I never used to do it in elementary school, now that I think about it. I try to mold myself into what everyone else wants to see. I hate taking risks. I am afraid everyone is judging me. I have an awful self-image of myself. I just recently came to terms with all of this - before now... I just thought I was really shy.

I haven't sought help yet. I think I really should, though. I understand I have a problem - but I can't overcome it myself. And its just making my life worse. I see myself as fat, for one. And while I'd like to get exercise, I can't make myself go to a gym or even run down the street because I'm afraid people will judge me. I am terrified of making friends because it takes me a long time to become comfortable with people - and I never really become comfortable with any girl I find attractive. And even when I do become friends with someone - I tend to try to mold myself into someone they wont hate or dislike. If someone disagrees with me on any level, I get very uncomfortable. I just see myself as spiralling down a hole. But, I just started looking up numbers for psychologists/psychiatrists in the phone book. I have resolved myself to call one tomorrow.

In the meanwhile, I hope to talk to everyone here. Thanks.
(P.s. Sorry for the hideous grammar.)

Hi Immortalis and welcome to the forums. I can relate to much of what you said especially about how when you make friends with someone you try to make yourself into someone they won't dislike. I do that too, and also get upset if someone disagrees with me or is critical. It's good that you are trying to get help.

Immortalis,
Hello and welcome to these forums. Glad you found us I've been a moderator here for the past few years and one thing I have found out is that I can find people, just like me, posting the same saga I've gone through.

While I'm not a true avoidant I do have some of the characteristics. My diagnosis are a history of DId, anorexia, GAD and a few lesser one.

I hope you will be able to find those certain people who share the same problems as yourself. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

Take Care,
Sweetngentle

Hrrmrmrrph. I chickened out. I hate making cold-calls. I ended up putting off the call to the psychiatrist. *slaps forehead* Uggh. Maybe tomorrow. Really need to make myself do it.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Rome wasn't built in a day. Just make yourself do it, think of how much better you'll feel once it's over and done with. I hate making cold calls myself but what helps me is thinking of how great it feels once it's over and done with.

at least you didn't put yourself through the torture of calling complete strangers for weeks before finally finding a psychiatrist, and then only lasting 2 weeks before leaving because you can't handle talking to anyone, not even a psychiatrist. that's what i just did. i'm so hopeless i can't even recognise when i'm actually doing the right thing for once, i just freak out and leave...

i don't know how it works where you're from, but i eventually went to a gp, who was able to refer me to a psychiatrist and arrange an appointment for me so i didn't have to do it myself... not that it stopped me from ruining the whole thing in the end like i always manage to do ...