You know you're AvPD when...

^i wish.i find it impossible to find a job that you will be alone. I feel that this world is made for extroverts only

...At your child's parents evening, you have a question to ask but you don't say anything because you dread all the other parents turning round and looking at you...

Autumn218 wrote:@selflocked is so relatable too.

Thank you for identifying with so much of what I posted, it makes me feel like less of a freak.

Autumn218 wrote:I hate pictures and posting them.and in this time with social media is awful to have this.i hate seeing me in pictures.

I hate seeing me also, it's like I can only see the imperfections and it depresses me even more. I forgot to add that another reason why I don't do social media is because I wouldn't dare posting on the internet under my real identity. It's bad enough posting anonymously as it is...

When you are so socially awkward you say thank you when somebody says hello to you.

When you leave your house half an hour before workmen are due and dont return for 3 or more hours just incase. Then kick yourself when you realise you really needed it fixed.

When you feel ok and strike up a conversation with someone online to later find you cant deal with it, so drop the conversation and act like it never happened. Shameful, i know.

When you have social media but cant do anything on it incase someone engages with your post.

New, here. Hi everybody! All I'll say is that I'm feeling a bit of relief, knowing I'm not as some as I thought.

"You know you're AvPD when..."

- Someone's coming, so I hold my phone up to my ear, so they won't talk to me... and then my phone goes off, because I forgot to turn the volume down. Then, they look at me.

- A few quick words of practice and self-advice somehow tornadoes into a full fledged conversation in my head. Alll the sudden, I realize what I'm doing, and think, "Oh, my god! Who are you talking to??? Enough, already!" haha

- I sometimes feel like I'm just doing time on Earth.

^or when you prefer to live something unfixed that is bothering you because you don't want to talk to people

or you refer to leave something unfixed that is bothering you because you don't want to talk to people.

Some of my list (sadly, I am/was all of these things):

when you never answer the doorbell

when you hardly read and respond to text messages

when you cannot reply to a message in a forum/email without getting really anxious

when you legitimately have no opinion about most things

when someone asks you a question, your mind frequently goes "blank"

when you cannot enter your house because you saw an animal in your backyard

when you spend the majority of your time in your room playing computer/video games

when you hardly interact with other players even in video games

when you frequently take naps

when there was a phase in your life where you took a shower/bath once a week

I can relate to all of them. They all seem so familiar. It feels like I can not even be original here.

- You always start to feel more like an outsider when you get to know the people you work with a little more. They will always have more stories to tell, had more fun in the weekend.
Obviously you do not want them to get the image of you that you are a ‘loser’, but they are slowly wearing you down. You need the weekends just to get mentally prepared for the next week. Thinking about how to minimize your interactions and try to keep up a sane appearrance is what it all becomes about.
Conclusion: I never held a job for more then six months and you stay mostly at the same job level.

- you can Interact with strangers easy because you will never see them again.
You seek connections that are easy. Mostly you wind up with people with no real ambition in life for whatever reason.
- you try to numb yourself down by doing things excessively. Sports,work..
I wasted a lot of time smoking weed also, and it was not even good for me. I would get severe anxiety attacks, but I rather preferred that instead of feeling inferior.

- You do everything to prop up your outside appearance or your social status, but you are still alone.
Onetime I remember I felt like such a fake when I tried to impress a girl. I said something that was meant to sound smart but instead it was so stupid that it bothers me to this day, because it expressed a lack of ambition that summed up my whole outlook on life. You just confirmed to yourself it is not even worth trying. Not anything.

- the social awkwardness,shame,etc can take out all the cognitive brain functions, which makes you feel like a small child even when you are over 40
- you never celebrate your birthday, because what is the point. You have no close friends.
- you never have a good picture of yourself and you avoid posing for a picture
- You never really know how to smile and you always get that question
- it is really hard to be spontaneous or in the moment

- you get your first diagnosis as depression
Ten years later and taking anti depressants you feel that it just is not working anymore. You feel like a robot. Then I found this disorder and it all sounds similar.

Thanks for that.

You know you have AvPD when you discover there is such a thing.

I'm 42 years old and only after watching the Johnny Depp trial did I realize there are these various personality disorders. I found this one and I checked all the boxes. Now I know there is a name for it.