You know you're AvPD when...

...You can't open your curtains because someone might, from the outside, see you open them; and, if you somehow get them open, you must be cautious about looking outside because someone might be around to see you.

...You can't go out in public because you have probably inadvertently developed strange, embarrassing mannerisms/habits through the countless hours alone in your house, so you spend many more hours alone in your house developing yet more strange, embarassing mannerisms.

...You discover that the store you went to doesn't have what you'd come in for, but you just buy something anyway so that the cashiers don't wonder why you suddenly left.

...You spend 15 minutes devising a username because you are afraid that someone might be able to guess your identity based on what you use... And then are still not confident that you have avoided that possibility.

Then, as a bonus:

You Know You're AvPD and BPD When...

...You feel so sick of the appalling dullness of your life that you impulsively decide to walk all the way across town just to escape. Then, finding that you've walked so far that your feet are bleeding, you are confronted by the reality of the situation: somehow you will have to get home. But, you can't call anyone to pick you up because 1. You have next to no friends and 2. The friend you do have will be annoyed/irritated/judgmental if you ask 3. You can't explain your reason for getting stranded, so the friend will be even more annoyed/irritated/judgmental. You think suddenly that it is a good idea to hitchhike, and that people are so fascinating you want to meet all of them, but when someone pulls over, you realise that you will have to actually interact with this person who is not only a stranger but also infinitely more unappealing than you had imagined, and so you pretend at that moment that you "got a call from a friend who will give [you] a ride." Your only remaining option is the bus, and it takes 5 minutes of preparation to make your way to the bus stop... And then, for good measure, when you are sitting at the bus stop, two homeless guys starting having a yelling match, with you sitting directly in between...

SørenII wrote:...You can't open your curtains because someone might, from the outside, see you open them; and, if you somehow get them open, you must be cautious about looking outside because someone might be around to see you.

...You can't go out in public because you have probably inadvertently developed strange, embarrassing mannerisms/habits through the countless hours alone in your house, so you spend many more hours alone in your house developing yet more strange, embarassing mannerisms.

...You discover that the store you went to doesn't have what you'd come in for, but you just buy something anyway so that the cashiers don't wonder why you suddenly left.

...You spend 15 minutes devising a username because you are afraid that someone might be able to guess your identity based on what you use... And then are still not confident that you have avoided that possibility.

Then, as a bonus:

You Know You're AvPD and BPD When...

...You feel so sick of the appalling dullness of your life that you impulsively decide to walk all the way across town just to escape. Then, finding that you've walked so far that your feet are bleeding, you are confronted by the reality of the situation: somehow you will have to get home. But, you can't call anyone to pick you up because 1. You have next to no friends and 2. The friend you do have will be annoyed/irritated/judgmental if you ask 3. You can't explain your reason for getting stranded, so the friend will be even more annoyed/irritated/judgmental. You think suddenly that it is a good idea to hitchhike, and that people are so fascinating you want to meet all of them, but when someone pulls over, you realise that you will have to actually interact with this person who is not only a stranger but also infinitely more unappealing than you had imagined, and so you pretend at that moment that you "got a call from a friend who will give [you] a ride." Your only remaining option is the bus, and it takes 5 minutes of preparation to make your way to the bus stop... And then, for good measure, when you are sitting at the bus stop, two homeless guys starting having a yelling match, with you sitting directly in between...

I can relate especially to growing increasingly weirder from isolation mannerisms-wise and the dealing with it through more isolation.

Did you literally try to escape? Or is that a metaphor? It speaks to me on both levels. So you consider yourself AvPD and BPD?

I relate with no opening windows.
Maybe if i was higher floor i would.
I really love light and air but hate the people outside .

Hitchiking there is no way, i even avoid taking taxi so i don't have to talk to the driver.

Some people i like to talk to and i feel good but the majority feels like torture,why are they so talkative,i feel this word is made for extroverts.
Especially at jobs why do customers want to talk to you like they are your friends and you can't leave .they are so ######6 annoying.
Take the f product i don't want to hear about your life and have a conversation.

nothingscathartic wrote:

SørenII wrote:...You can't open your curtains because someone might, from the outside, see you open them; and, if you somehow get them open, you must be cautious about looking outside because someone might be around to see you.

...You can't go out in public because you have probably inadvertently developed strange, embarrassing mannerisms/habits through the countless hours alone in your house, so you spend many more hours alone in your house developing yet more strange, embarassing mannerisms.

...You discover that the store you went to doesn't have what you'd come in for, but you just buy something anyway so that the cashiers don't wonder why you suddenly left.

...You spend 15 minutes devising a username because you are afraid that someone might be able to guess your identity based on what you use... And then are still not confident that you have avoided that possibility.

Then, as a bonus:

You Know You're AvPD and BPD When...

...You feel so sick of the appalling dullness of your life that you impulsively decide to walk all the way across town just to escape. Then, finding that you've walked so far that your feet are bleeding, you are confronted by the reality of the situation: somehow you will have to get home. But, you can't call anyone to pick you up because 1. You have next to no friends and 2. The friend you do have will be annoyed/irritated/judgmental if you ask 3. You can't explain your reason for getting stranded, so the friend will be even more annoyed/irritated/judgmental. You think suddenly that it is a good idea to hitchhike, and that people are so fascinating you want to meet all of them, but when someone pulls over, you realise that you will have to actually interact with this person who is not only a stranger but also infinitely more unappealing than you had imagined, and so you pretend at that moment that you "got a call from a friend who will give [you] a ride." Your only remaining option is the bus, and it takes 5 minutes of preparation to make your way to the bus stop... And then, for good measure, when you are sitting at the bus stop, two homeless guys starting having a yelling match, with you sitting directly in between...

I can relate especially to growing increasingly weirder from isolation mannerisms-wise and the dealing with it through more isolation.

Did you literally try to escape? Or is that a metaphor? It speaks to me on both levels. So you consider yourself AvPD and BPD?

It was an escape to find, not flee. I will go through phases of intense, agonizing feelings of emptiness and displacement during which I am desperate to coincide with myself; that incident I described was such a phase.

I am certain about the AvPD, but I don't know if I would qualify for a BPD diagnosis. I relate to all of its characteristics, but not all of them are so severe that they cannot be managed. BPD sort of clarified a lot of things that had for a long time been confusing. Maybe, maybe not... Often I don't think about it, and other times I obsess over it. Sorry this is so abrupt: I am in one of those "I don't care about anything, forget everything and go live fast" moods. It's best to just live in whatever chaos seems fit, or is otherwise fit to oneself.

You know you’re AvPD when...

You are walking down the sidewalk and see someone about to walk past you, so you pull out your phone and randomly start hitting buttons.

You’re sitting on the bus in a sideways seat and someone is across you, so you pretend to fall asleep do you don’t have to make eye contact.

I everyone, I'm new here.

Sorry if my list is too long, I guess I got a bit carried away!

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You know you're AvPD when...

...You always peek through the curtains before stepping outside to make sure the coast is clear.

...You spend the rest of the day wondering if anyone saw the curtains move.

...You always park your car in the garage so that your neighbors can't tell you're home just by looking at your driveway.

...You still suspect the entire neighborhood knows you're always at home.

...Your favorite time to go for a walk is at 2 A.M.

...That's also a great time to do some yard work.

...You never listen to music or watch movies/videos without headphones because you fear someone might hear it and judge you negatively for your tastes.

...You become a master at making absolutely no sound when you're at home, and even develop a technique to avoid sneezing.

...You only leave the house to acquire food when you have absolutely none left.

...Sometimes you don't feel like leaving the house so you go an entire day without eating.

...You could easily order a pizza online but hunger sounds better than interacting with the delivery guy.

...Sometimes you feel like buying junk food at the supermarket but you don't because you fear the cashier and the people behind you will think negatively of you for buying unhealthy crap.

...You would rather get shot than to buy condoms in a store.

...Not like you would have any use for them if you bought them.

...You've been cutting your own hair for over 20 years to avoid small talk with the barber.

...The washing machine breaks down so you start washing your clothes by hand to avoid calling the landlord and having it fixed.

...The thought of having a stranger in your house is enough to make you hyperventilate.

...You have no idea how's your blood pressure or cholesterol levels because you haven't been to a doctor in years.

...You haven't been to the beach or a pool in two decades because you're too self-conscious about your body.

...You never dare to wear shorts in public because someone made fun of your long giraffe legs in 1989.

...You don't have a facebook account because you wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing your picture was online.

...You drink way too much at a social gathering and spend the next few days experiencing PTSD-like symptoms as you remember the embarrassing things you said and did.

...You never do anything on your own, like going to a restaurant or the movies, because you don't want anyone to think you're a loser with no friends (which you are).

...Every now and then you think about getting a dog, but the thought of having to take him to the vet is enough to make you give up that idea.

...You're absolutely baffled when people in this thread casually mention they have a bf/gf or that they're married, and can't comprehend how they managed to get a partner.

When your natural state of being inspires a reaction of "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?" from the average person.

when you try to build up courage for a whole 2 hour class period to ask someone for a pencil because you forgot one, but are never able to so you just get a 0 on the assignment

when you're in a public place and your phone dies but you continue to swipe/type on the black screen to avoid making eye contact with people or socializing in any way

when you come across this forum and your mind is blown cuz there are other people like you

when you're kinda scared to post this cuz what if I accidentally copied something someone already said

halfshell wrote:When your natural state of being inspires a reaction of "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?" from the average person.

Relatable .honestly i don't know how to be completely myself. But i feel if i tried i would be weird.like always some part needs adjusting and i can't be spontaneous.


@selflocked is so relatable too.
I make sure the coast is clear to get out .
I don't listen to things without headphones either.i don't know why.the more i hated the people i lived with he more i get in the hiding zone.like i am not there.
I don't order either because i don't want to interact.it is easier to go to the store than the delivery,i do not know why.but sometimes.i don't take food i want because i don't want to interact.
It is always a competition with opposite feelings of how much i want something and how much i want to avoid the interaction.often the second wins.

I cut my hair and don't take taxi to avoid the interaction and chit chat.the thought of the hair salon lady or taxi driver talking to me i can't stand it. I avoid doctors too except if i am in pain .
But often i like more how it looks when i do my own hair also.i remember as a kid didn't like the result of others lol.

And the thought of a stranger in my house makes me very upset.even the thought of not strangers .

I hate pictures and posting them.and in this time with social media is awful to have this.i hate seeing me in pictures.

I want a dog but the thought of talking him to vet and having to interact often makes me unable to have a dog most of all the other responsibilities,problems.

I can't comprehend how they manage to get married either.emotionally .why they didn't avoid him/her.

I don't enjoy being alone in movies or cafes. I don't care what others think i just don't see it as enjoyment.the only time i can do it was to avoid guests i didn't want when i used to live with people i hated.because being in home was worse than being out.

You pick a job almost purely based on if you get to work alone.