You know you're AvPD when...

blankslate wrote:When you'd rather fantasize about doing something than actually doing it .....

THIS....this just says it all.

When insults stick in you like a damn knife. It's ridiculous and irritating.

You don't talk to tat guy (or girl) you fancy, just indulge your Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder to the max, fantasising about them instead! (Well, I do anyway!)

You wait for the neighbors to go to church on Sunday to get any yardwork done.
You run inside if you hear the neighbor's children outside, what if they see me?
What if they try to talk to me? What if my dog is seen by them?
They know I stay cooped in the house all day, they must think I'm the biggest loon.
You haven't driven in years and the thought of the neighbors seeing you if you started to drive would be too awkward.
You've lived in the same house for 6 years and never met your neighbors.
You peek out of the curtains and wonder, did anyone see the curtains move?
They know I'm in here just looking out the window like a loser.
You're happiest when asleep because dreams are better than real life.
I would force myself back to sleep so many times because reality just sucks/sucked.
You can never forget the anger at your doctor for diagnosing you with BPD, pffff don't they know I have AvPD?!
When your husband takes you on a rare outing (to get groceries) you think all the neighbors say oh she's finally leaving the house!
When you love your Mother but now that she has passed you don't have to make that phone call.
When you know when your Dad passes you will feel the same about making those dreaded phone calls and not get asked what my agenda is for the day.
Do you not know I have no agenda, never did?
When the thought of attending a funeral for a close family member has you wishing you'd die first to avoid the whole situation.
When I write a comment on a blog, and suspect they won't post it because somehow they know I'm just plain weird and don't like me.
When you unsubscribe from an email listing because the blogger responded to every comment but yours,
and then think they hate you even more for unsubscribing (and for writing why you unsubscribed), and told all their blogger friends
about you and now you can't post on any food blog in case they are friends.
When the thought of making a phone call has sweat dripping from your armpits.
When you would rather die of a disease than go to a gynecologist!

You try to hide your face by wearing a hood or sunglasses, but it only draws attention and teasing from others.
You deliberately walk in a different direction if you see someone you know coming.
You try to make yourself sound really sick just to get some time off work, and you make sure it's something that they will accept.

When social interactions most people engage in that do not faze them or that they actually enjoy feel to you like the prospect of having sex in public, or taking a dump in front of everyone. It actually inspires that much shame and dread, not to mention the impossibility of willing yourself to perform either act.

When you have to get a buzz with alcohol just to go to your mother's house for the family christmas gathering and your loud mouth nephew smells it on you and laughingly tells everyone.

Like several others it was reading this thread and seeing myself in so vastly many of these that motivated me to sign up.

Here's one of my recent ones.
When you plan to go out for New Year's Eve but you don't because you don't know which would be worse; trying to talk to someone, having someone try to talk to you, standing around lonely and unnoticed, or being noticed as the weirdo who's all alone at the party.

Oh it's so much "fun" being crippled by these feelings.

Just thought of a couple more...

When you've only read 10 pages of a 48 page thread and you're afraid you'll repeat one that you haven't read yet and everyone will be annoyed with you.

When an attractive person smiles at you and you're sure it's because they're just barely resisting laughing in your face.

When you hear a group of attractive people laughing and you're sure you're the subject.

When you won't even go to the convenience store unless you're sure freshly showered, groomed, and well dressed. If you're not, you do all of those things first, which turns even the smallest of errands into a multi-hour ordeal.

When you have a photo class assignment which requires a model. You ask a pretty co-worker of 3 years who has always been unfailingly nice to you, and you're terrified because you're sure she'll say no. She shocks you by saying yes. You then obsessively look through the photos for 2 weeks before realizing she's not playing for the camera, she's looking at you, and she's looking in a way that clearly says she's attracted to you. You know you'd never have picked this up if you couldn't have scrutinized her face for 2 weeks. You take another 2 months to talk to her about it. She is. All you can then do is think about how stupid you were not to realize 3 years ago and how you've wasted those 3 years. After she's gone, you wonder how you'll ever meet someone like her again without replicating the exact same circumstances again, which you know cannot possibly happen.

I feel like that last one is a bit too specific to me, but I also suspect that this is the one place where people can at least identify with the experience.

My variant of one I've seen several times.

When you work at a library with 15 bathrooms but you're still ready to burst before you go because you have to find one that is both empty and has no one sitting within view of the door, because you don't want anyone to hear you or judge you for the length of time you're in there.