You know you're AvPD when...

I have got to say i was so down when i came on here after finally realising i had AVPD after years of being told it was social anxiety. Then i started reading this post and i am in stitches.These are soo true! I thought i was so alone. It was so hard to find a forum like this and now for the first time in my whole life i have people that are so like me it's scary Hilarious... Thank you for whoever started this!

Mylifeavoiding wrote:When you see your phone ringing and it's a unfamiliar number so you leave it. You later call back blocking your number to see who it was.

You pretend your feeling sick to avoid taking your kids to the movies because you really can't deal with seeing people that day.

You avoid parking in a shopping car park incase you struggle to get out of it and everyone can see.

You avoid mirrors because you realise how you really look in real life.

Avoid going to hairdressers as you hate seeing yourself in the mirror. ( its been 6 years)

Ask your son to walk out to the car after school so you can avoid all other parents.

Would rather go down a different shopping isle than ask someone if they could move out the way please.

Focus so much on getting your child help for their issues and yet your more messed up than him. When asked if any previous history of mental illness you reply "nope"

Would rather suffer years than admit all this crazy stuff you do due to embarrassment to a psych.

When making a simple phone call is so hard, you practice or write down what your going to say before calling.

When you haven't allowed your partner of 13 years to see you naked due to the fear of being ridiculed.

When you turn every positive into a negative ( so I'm told) I like to be prepared for the worst.

When you go to remove everything you just wrote incase no one else has the same issues as above!!

I could write a book on this. So glad I'm not alone!

Don't know if it's appropriate to reply, but this is sad. How does your kid react to your avoidant behaviours? Again, I'm sorry.

You lie to psychiatrists and psychologists because you are ashamed of who you are and fear their judgment. Which leads to you getting the wrong diagnosis, which then leads to you not getting any help.

ditto357 wrote:You know you are AvPD when you start to see people in close proximity as leeches, who's mere existence can threaten yours, and whose only purpose seems to be to keep you locked in your room and quiet.

I get this too and it's the oddest thing to me.

- You don't have friends so you settle for ANYBODY who comes to you and shows acceptance and affection. At first you're really happy about it, until you find out this person is way too much to handle and is not really your type at all and you get anxious as hell trying to get out without having to let them know you really don't want to be with them anymore... eventually your only better option is to be alone and rot to death

-When you turn into an alcoholic because it's the only thing that helps you go out there and be social, which is essential to you (although loneliness is also very much too comfortable for you)

-You gave up all your dreams of having a normal, satisfying life.

When you would rather take your chances with a tornado than go into the basement with your co-workers.

When you hardly speak to anyone on the phone, including friends and family, and prefer to communicate by text because it's safer.

When you want to crawl under your desk at work every time the phone rings because you hate talking to people so much.

When you hold all your boss's mail until he is gone to lunch or on an errand so that you do not have to have an interaction with him.

When you avoid going to the doctor, for the obvious reasons, but also because you are too scared/nervous to ask/tell your boss that you need the time off.

When you would rather quit your job without telling anyone because your boss saw you coming out of the bathroom, and you just know he can smell it, and thinks you are disgusting, and you can never face him again.

When your husband has to be the one to order at the drive thru and call in every take-out order and go in and pick it up because you just hate it so much, and your family would probably starve to death if they had to rely on you to do this.

When your husband forces you to ride along with him on an errand because you never leave the house except to go to work, and even though you know he's just trying to help, you are mad at him anyways, and you take on the actions of a child, sitting there in the passenger seat, arms crossed, scowl on your face, refusing to look his direction or speak to him, and you absolutely will under no circumstances enjoy yourself.

When you would rather freeze to death than to ask someone for a blanket. This applies to so many things in my life. I would do without or settle for something other than what I asked for versus speaking up and remedying the situation, on the most basic things.

I could go on and on. So many of the ones already listed apply to me, a couple I never even thought that someone else might be experiencing too, I thought they were just my quirks. For example, avoiding the dentist for so long that you can only eat on one side of your mouth, I know, it's disgusting, but I just hate going and knowing they are judging me. The other one that really astonished me and I never realized had anything to do with my AvPD was someone said that if their boss or someone says "thank you", they reply "no problem" instead of "you're welcome". I do this as well. I have had to actively force myself to say "you're welcome" a time or two. It just does not come out naturally for me. My analysis of it is that if I say "you're welcome", I feel like I am acknowledging that I did a favor or something for them, but I am just doing my job and doing what I am paid to do. I don't know, I can't really explain it I guess. But I totally can relate to that poster's feelings about it. And I can relate to every single person that has posted on here and it is so refreshing!!

When you avoid someone for so long that you have made it impossible to ever see them again because it has gotten to the point that now you know they have noticed too, it is no longer just a fear in your head, and you know they are going to want to talk about it, and you just can't talk about it so they are now on your list of people you must avoid for the rest of your life.

When you just posted your list of things on "You know you're AvPD when..." and you think of one more and you start to type it and you have a battle with yourself as to whether you should even submit it because you just know everyone is going to think you are weird.

When people describe you as quiet or soft spoken, or say that you mumble. And when you are at work and you have to speak to clients on the phone and you talk really low because you don't want anyone else to hear what you are saying (because you know they are going to judge you and think you are incompetent, especially since you know you are going to get tongue-tied, and sound stupid, and the client will ask you something you weren't prepared for and your mind will go blank and you will stammer around like an idiot), and then the client asks you to repeat yourself because they didn't understand you, or didn't hear you because you are so "soft spoken".

When you have to attend a social event at the end of the month and already think about it every day dreading the moment when that one person steps up to have a conversation with you, or even worse, asks you something with five more people listening, followed by that uncomfortable moment when you know they realise the person they thought they'd have a nice chat with is actually awkward as hell.

HideAndNoSeek wrote:
When you would rather freeze to death than to ask someone for a blanket. This applies to so many things in my life. I would do without or settle for something other than what I asked for versus speaking up and remedying the situation, on the most basic things.

This hits home...