Might at the end of the tunnel....

I know theres been posts about the cure to AvPD, whether its through drugs, therapy or some other miracle cure...
But i think people should start a sticky about the cure, otherwise all thats gonna happen is alotta nothing
Im very suprised its not a sticky already, but could someone either sticky this or create a new sticky for Cure.
Ok, so we all know how bad living with AvPD can be, ya?
So why not start NOW on the road to recovery?
This isnt simply coping with AvPD, but a means to its end!
It aint over till the AvPD sings!

Suggestions:
i) people with AvPD should post exactly what is distressing them. Or any ideas theyve had in fixing it.
ii) people who have had AvPD in the past can share how they overcame it.
iii) people who have had therapy (whether it worked or not) can share what their therapist had to say.
iv) people who dont have AvPD can share how they feel about the same situations that would cause anxiety for AvPDs, and are ofcourse invited to post any other helpful input.
v) Feel free to write experiences, but keep them concise. We dont want to stray too far away from the subject.
vi) As always any other information that may be of any help is welcome.

Ok, ill try and start things off
I know its hard facing up to a psychological fear, but even just attempting it can be a huge help. However we'll start of with some easy ideas that Ive come up with:

Firstly Id suggest abolishing this whole idea that theres actually something wrong with yourself. You are after all only human, and cannot be expected to be perfect. I find alot of the time, my anxiety builds up if i think about it alot, so try instead concentrating on the task at hand.

Secondly, you are who you are and no one can force you to change, you must do so on your own. If you feel people are judging you, say to yourself that "I am happy with who I am"
If youre not happy with who you are, try doing something that youve always wanted to do, like take up the guitar, dye your hair blonde, something thatll make you happier.

"Learning to love yourself, is the first step, that you take when you want to be free" - Dj Tiesto - Just Be

Thirdly, note down a couple of the things that go through your mind when you do get anxious, and mark a score of how anxious you were (out of ten or something...).

Lastly, maybe try judging other people instead of worrying about them judging you. See just how negatively you really judge people, try to notice everyone, but then remember who you judged and why, while also keeping track of the amount of people you didnt judge at all (even if theyre just rough estimates).

"If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve." - Lao Tzu (father of taoism)

This is a good idea, keeping suggestions together like this.

I've been working through a book called "10 Simple Solutions to Shyness: How to Overcome Shyness, Social Anxiety & Fear of Public Speaking," by Martin M. Anthony, PH.D. I'm finding it helpful so far, and I've only read half of it so far.

I've noticed that my biggest fear is what other people think of me. Because I judge myself so harshly, I think everyone does as well. So instead of risking the pain and anxiety of putting myself where people can judge me, I basically hide out and when I am out, try to be invisible.

But lately, meaning the past few weeks, I've incorporated a few basic concepts from the book I mentioned:

1. I made a list of small instances that I avoid, I.e. doing anything in public that might draw attention to myself. Then I try at least once a day to do something in public that will draw attention to myself. For example, I wear ear muffs (don't laugh, it's cold! ) in the winter, but often feel self-conscious about putting them on when people can see me. So, the other day I made a point of putting them on INSIDE the subway station, where I obviously wouldn't need them, in front of tons of people. The more I did this, the more self-confidence I seemed to get. But I couldn't do this unless I practiced the next concept, #2. Another example can be making small talk with a stranger every day, like asking someone for the time.

2. I ask myself if what someone is thinking about me - even if it were negative and there's no way I'd really know unless they told me to my face - were to have any actual consequences for me. For instance, if I put my ear-muffs on in the subway and leave them on, and some dude looks at me and thinks "Must be something wrong with that dude putting those things on inside", will it affect me in any way? The answer is no, it will not affect me. This makes it easier to draw attention to myself.

3. Realize that no one judges me as harshly as I judge myself.

That's it for me, I'm a newbie at this stuff as well.

Thanks for that trence, your succeses give hope to us all . Its amazing how small everyday things can help so much. I find it quite common for people to judge themselves too harshly (like me for one) undeservedly, which has a large affect on self-confidence.

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain

Psychological placebos...
Anyone remember the story of the little train that could, who kept pushing on with only the motivation of his own words, "i know i can, i know i can." and in the end succeded in...whatever he was doing.
Well, I feel that these few words of self-encouragement could be very helpful to us AvPDs. We instead have an inner-monologue telling us that we cant do something.
Doesnt this sound ridiculous?
We all know we have the ability to do what any other confident person could do, but instead are de-motivated to do this because of our experiences telling us we cannot.
-I want you to repeat to yourself atleast 10 times a day that you are "every bit as capable as any other human" (in the context atleast). Dont feel that you would be pushing yourself into someone that you are not, but instead realise you are already someone you truely arent beneath the anxiety, and that regaining all your confidence is simply returning to your normal self.

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." -Harvey Fierstein

Well...this post isnt going as well as i thought it would...
But atleast im learning...which makes it worthwhile.

Today was great . I cleared my head of anxiety before going to head office to speak with my NCO (non-comissioned officer) who I had never met before. Now without the anxiety clouding my vision, I could see he was pleased to meet me, so in turn I tried to be extra friendly to show likewise.
Now later on today, I feel proud that I was able to make a fairly good first impression on my NCO and I regret nothing.

Im very much looking forward to the next candidate I meet so I can better myself. I shall charter myself to keep this up, keep inch-ing towards normality and beyond. Afterall, why be ordinary when you can be extra-ordinary, right?

"The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success." - Irving Berlin

I will also be very outward in my experiences, keeping you informed on any technique that works, and everything you should avoid.

Techniques that do work:
-Adequate sleep helps you to be alert. (not to be confused with edgey)
= If, and only if, you dont get a good night sleep, try some coffee. Coffee is a stimulant and should like most stimulants make you even more onto it. However coffee can be addictive.
- Frame of mind is important too. Before you start each day, think of how much fun you could have, instead of thinking what could go wrong or fretting over something.
= No matter what happens from the moment you wake up, believe and sincerely trust that life will go on.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
Robert Frost - (think he's a poet)

Hmm...Ive been thinking a bit recently, and come up with a theory.
Alot of the advice in the forum talks about doing what your comfortable with doing, instead of doing what you want to be doing. Well, if I'm to be the only hard-ass on these forums, I'm sorry, but working within comfort zones accomplishes nothing. This is a basic principle in education (pushing yourself to excell), business (taking risks) and weight training (no pain, no gain).
What Ive noticed so far is that all, or pretty close to all bullying occurs in schools. If you are in school, dont worry about being bullied, it will end, probably sooner then before you finish seeing as many bullies are braindead and flunk out early.
If you're not in school, you may too have noticed the change from school-life into real-life. If you're like me your still thinking people in the world arent friendly, there out to get you, put you down and make you feel like crap all the time. No matter how hard I stress this isnt true, I'll still always believe it is.
So, all in all, try to be outgoing. Join up for clubs, play sports and such. Make them a commitment, and show up everytime.
I've found this actually works!
I, myself, am completely committed to the army. This forced me to stay 2 nights with 16 guys who were total strangers to me, forced me to learn teamwork and so on. After these 2 nights, I came out feeling absolutely more confident and happier, not to mention fitter and 125$ richer .
Unluckily however, as is my life, the next morning i crashed into the back of another car, quite softly really, but still 300$ worth of repairs. This kinda shattered all my confidence and now im back to normal, but I learned something then and there. The guy i crashed into was surprisingly friendly, despite me probably making him late for work and having to file a insurance claim...Anyways, what Im saying is that friendly people exist, they make up 99% of the population, its just the other 1% that we remember through our childhood that makes us loose faith I guess.

So, get out there! Make some commitments, do whatever, but the worst thing to do is to do nothing.
Man im such a hipocrit...all i do all day is nothing...but nevertheless do it!

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Bhudda (i think...).