I have been diagnosed with Asperger's and high IQ and had been suspected to have conduct disorder as a child / adolescent. I am not quite convinced of having an antisocial personality disorder or any personality disorder at all - although I clearly to have some significantly unusual personality traits.
I had been asking this questions and submitting this text to the ASPD forum as well, but was given the idea to post it here, too.
Yes, I am sure I have Asperger's, the diagnosis was confirmed multiple times, as well as an IQ test was done more than once. Let's move on:
In my earlier childhood, I clearly showed signs of what would be considered antisocial - or at least amoral - behaviour, such as violence (as a young child, of course rather reactive, later nearly solely instrumental), casual theft, lying, defiance of rules, defiance of danger / risk-seeking, sensation-seeking. I always was perceived as an egoistic, very arrogant and somewhat manipulative child. I had commited crime once when I was at age 14 (grievous bodily harm and armed assault with a partner in crime, but managed to be only punished with hours of community service) and had some criminal activities that were not recorded, such as trespassing, thievery, forgery.
In my early adulthood, I stabilsed my undesirable behaviour and became a well-integrated, kind, friendly, but very rational, scientific-orientated adult - something I would consider typical for an autistic person. I rarely had troubles with my impulse control then, I have no criminal record and am basically not willing to commit any crime, mostly because I rather do not want to spend any time in prison. My morality level is - based on what the average person finds moral - low. I am not feeling sympathy for victims nor do I remember that I had ever been affectionate towards those who were suffering or showed signs of affective empathy, although my cognitive empathy is very high for an autist. I do feel pleasure in deceiving others, I would say that I can be very manipulative, charming, instrumental and that I do not really care about the feelings, needs or disadvantages of others if I can make profit out of them - there are a few exceptions, but generally, I don't care about people.
Currently, I would consider my impulse control to be exceptionally good. I rather lose control over my actions or have emotional outbreaks. I rather tend to use rational, fact-based argumentations, although I can be extremly tenacious and also easily feel angry when arguing with others, because they often discuss based on feelings rather than on facts.
My feelings towards people are usually based on anger, disgust, rarely on fear. Since I do not only think of myself as smarter than the general public but am actually also more intelligent than most people, I likely devaluate others. Also, I generally appreciate if the amount of people is depleted, especially if this is combined with violent actions. I generally find pleasure in watching violent actions, having knowledge about violent actions, but I personally am very afraid of legal punishment.
I am aware that especially the good impulse control and the fear of punishment are unusual traits for antisocial personalities, but I think that I am meeting other criteria of ASPD.
Is there anyone that has experienced such personality traits? What is your opinion?