Denial of autism

I'm reasonably certain my 2 years, 8 months old grandson is autistic. He has no language skills. He can repeat what someone says, but gives no meaning to the words, and he only started doing that in the last month or so. The only sounds he makes are grunts and screaming. His doctor wanted him to be evaluated at 18 months, but his parents refused and are still refusing, insisting that he is just developing at his own rate. He spends most of his time in front of the TV. He has two baby sisters, so he gets pretty much no one on one attention. My son and his wife just refuse to discuss getting him evaluated. I am very concerned that without early intervention, my grandson's future will be bleak. Has any one else experienced this? Any advice?

Denial is unfortunately pretty common but most parents just need a bit of time and plenty of evidence before they come round to the idea that there's a problem.
Autism is a scary idea for many parents to wrap their brains around - it's a lifelong condition and yep.. it's scary for parents to allow the fact that their child will not be the child they were dreaming of but will be someone very different.. someone that they have no idea how to relate to yet.

Be gentle with them and if your grandson does have autism they will have to accept it in the end.. most likely they'll come round in the first year or so of school.

Curious.. what kind of intervention do you mean? Many children are diagnosed in their first few years of school and their futures can be really great as long as there's enough support available. I'm not sure i understand how an intervention now would change his future too much..

I know very little about autism. I have read there are therapy methods to address particular behaviors and communication difficulties. My son describes the boy as angry all the time. Of course he is if he cannot communicate.

Even as someone on the autism spectrum, i'm still learning about it all the time myself so don't worry about not knowing much - all you really need is love for him and you clearly have that (:

ah.. yep.. understand what you mean now about intervention - definitely agree that some help would be useful if he's getting angry a lot. Not being able to be understood must be really frustrating.
On your part though, if you'd like to help him while you're waiting for his parents to come around to the idea, you could try helping him with his communication yourself. There's nothing greater than a good grandparent - I have lovely memories of one of mine.. just sit and chat with him.. get some flashcards and tell him the words and ask him to match some simple pictures together. He should be able to start categorising things. Games like Snap are great as well.. just find his strengths and build on them as a communication aid. Autism for the most part is really just having the social interactions manual missing (assuming a fairly normal IQ of course). If you teach him what he's supposed to do in situations then he'll learn.
When you greet him, use both a verbal greeting and a physical one and then tell him that when people say hello and wave, they'd love a hello and a wave back.

The copying thing is possibly echolalia - common amongst children in the asd community but they do tend to grow out of it a fair bit when they start being able to communicate a bit better.

with regards to the behavioural therapy.. if you're referring to ABA then please please do some research on that.. it can be helpful and good for some but there's a whole community of auties out there that have been really hurt by it.. they feel that they have to repress who they are and their natural way of being and it's damaged their self esteem a lot.
xx

Thanks for the information and insight. I live some distance away and so cannot visit often, but I will do what I can. I've got a lot to learn.

hi try speaking to him in other languages...i don't know if it works but it might. also i heard autism isn't a real diagnosis but like...he might just be demented. like he has dementia etc.

^^ autism is a real condition and those with autism are often given a diagnosis.
Autism is a neuro-developmental disorder - the brains of people with autism have been shown to have differences to those without. Specifically our brains have extra synaptic connections.

Dementia is something very very different and people with it are often seen to have issues with memory, language and thinking - the variety commonly seen in elderly people is called Alzheimer's and is caused by atrophy and demyelination.

Quite like the different language idea though.. children with autism/aspergers quite often find signing helpful as a communication aid.. also it's just cool in general for someone to know how to sign.. (:

I am one month late to the party, but would like to share my thoughts. As someone who was diagnosed at 20 and has had her life fall apart in those years, please do get your grandson evaluated. Autism is by no means evil or suboptimal. I love being autistic, in fact. What I did not love was being bullied for X undiagnosed condition and then blamed for it. Someone who denies their child medical and therapeutical help because of the fear of a diagnose that sticks throughout childhood is not fit to be a parent by any means. Not knowing better is one thing. But ignoring what is in front of oneself is child abuse! If parents are ignoring a toddler as long as they can, how do you think they are going to handle a first grader or a teenager with his own personality ?

PS: One thing. The sole difference between the diagnostical criteria of "high functioning" autism and Asperger's Syndrome is that the latter requires a child to have proper speech development before the age of 4. You will have to be patient here. Asperger's is real and valid (it's my form of autism) and was named after Hans Asperger, who lent his name to save autistic people from getting murdered by the Nazi regime. Certain parents, who do not under any circumstances want to live with the fact that their child is autistic, also push for an Asperger's (instead of high functioning autism or pervasive development disorder not otherwise specified) diagnose because it does not include the term "autism".

hi i was like that too and then it went away. maybe i am autistic. i heard it's caused from child abuse i don't know. i don't have much of a family really. i don't have any brothers or sisters. my mother was sick when i was little. my father left when i was 8. i had a cousin but we never talked.