Does he have Aspergers syndrome???

I have been in a relationship with my other half for a few months (have known him a good while longer) and am wondering if he may have Aspergers syndrome.

He's in his late twenties, has a successful career and is very witty and good fun, yet sometimes he acts selfish, childish and spoiled. I confided in a friend and they advised me that this may not be the case at all, and he may actually have Aspergers syndrome.

When I first met him I was initially put off by how insulting he could be to people around us, but on the other hand I could tell he respected his close friends and would put himself out of his way to do a favour, which he does for me also. He's very loving affectionate & has a good sense of humour.

However I've noticed he is very repetitive and loses his temper if something slightly alters his routine, he can get quite nasty if something has caused him to change his regular pattern, and will often be quite mean to me if I cannot call him/be at his during this time. He is also extremely fixated on trains, I take an interest but it's all he wants to talk about 98% of the time. If i suggest going to the cinema, he says that there's no point when he has a huge selection of dvd's at his, or we could purchase a film on sky box office. The end result is he always puts on a documentary about trains that he has downloaded. Sometimes I try and make an excuse to walk back to my place just for a break (because If i try and change the subject he will either bring it back around to trains or will become quiet and sulky)
yet if I do he will sulk, claim I don't care and say some quite insulting things to me.

Because his other side is so charming and caring I believe he is not doing this out of selfishness but that my friend may be accurate in that he has Aspergers syndrome. If this is the case I would like to find out more so that I can learn to be more patient and understanding.

Also there is the awkward situation where if he does appear to have Aspergers syndrome and does not realise himself, do I mention it to him or just keep quiet?

Sorry for the very long post! any answers would be much appreciated!

Hi!
I can really relate to this! This sounds so much like my man. He is charming, witty, funny, and smart, but the other side, oh boy. I will tell you, being in a relationship with someone who has aspergers is a LOT of work. I have been struggling for 5 years, helping him improve his social skills and behavior. Sometimes, I have become more his mother then girlfriend.

Can't give you advice, because it's a mystery to me. BUT, in my opinion(I am not a doctor), it sounds like he has a mild form of aspergers.

Good luck!

sansa100 wrote:I have been in a relationship with my other half for a few months (have known him a good while longer) and am wondering if he may have Aspergers syndrome.

He's in his late twenties, has a successful career and is very witty and good fun, yet sometimes he acts selfish, childish and spoiled. I confided in a friend and they advised me that this may not be the case at all, and he may actually have Aspergers syndrome.

When I first met him I was initially put off by how insulting he could be to people around us, but on the other hand I could tell he respected his close friends and would put himself out of his way to do a favour, which he does for me also. He's very loving affectionate & has a good sense of humour.

However I've noticed he is very repetitive and loses his temper if something slightly alters his routine, he can get quite nasty if something has caused him to change his regular pattern, and will often be quite mean to me if I cannot call him/be at his during this time. He is also extremely fixated on trains, I take an interest but it's all he wants to talk about 98% of the time. If i suggest going to the cinema, he says that there's no point when he has a huge selection of dvd's at his, or we could purchase a film on sky box office. The end result is he always puts on a documentary about trains that he has downloaded. Sometimes I try and make an excuse to walk back to my place just for a break (because If i try and change the subject he will either bring it back around to trains or will become quiet and sulky)
yet if I do he will sulk, claim I don't care and say some quite insulting things to me.

Because his other side is so charming and caring I believe he is not doing this out of selfishness but that my friend may be accurate in that he has Aspergers syndrome. If this is the case I would like to find out more so that I can learn to be more patient and understanding.

Also there is the awkward situation where if he does appear to have Aspergers syndrome and does not realise himself, do I mention it to him or just keep quiet?

Sorry for the very long post! any answers would be much appreciated!

"

However I've noticed he is very repetitive and loses his temper if something slightly alters his routine, he can get quite nasty if something has caused him to change his regular pattern, and will often be quite mean to me if I cannot call him/be at his during this time.

" - Losing temper from the loss of the order and security of routine is very common with autism. I am the same. I can't help it.

"

He is also extremely fixated on trains, I take an interest but it's all he wants to talk about 98% of the time. If i suggest going to the cinema, he says that there's no point when he has a huge selection of dvd's at his, or we could purchase a film on sky box office. The end result is he always puts on a documentary about trains that he has downloaded.

" - Obsession with interests is also a trait. It sounds like me but my obsession isn't trains. I used to know a person who was obsessed with the weather! He'd keep track of it almost 24/7. He was a good guy, I trusted him more than the weatherman on TV. haha. I bet your other half is a train master. I would love to ask him questions about it. But i'll stay on topic.

"

Sometimes I try and make an excuse to walk back to my place just for a break (because If i try and change the subject he will either bring it back around to trains or will become quiet and sulky)
yet if I do he will sulk, claim I don't care and say some quite insulting things to me.

" - Sometimes autistic people don't fully understand the meaning of words and how they affect people. If he is on the spectrum, social situations are like a big landmine field and we have to carefully step over it to make sure we don't do anything that isn't bad. I worry about that a lot. Some people don't think about it though. Specially if they aren't aware. Its best to tell them about what they said was bad so they can learn for next time otherwise they wont know what they did wrong properly.

But no one can definitely tell you on here, only a professional who can do a direct behaviour consultation in person.

I hope my message helps anyway!

-Cardiac