For as long as I can remember I was lied to that my entire identity would revolve around the fact that I was autistic, everything I did was always related to my autism, and everything I said or heard were dismissed merely on the fact that I was autistic, you see I got diagnosed around age 4 or 5, in my country this diagnosis is like a death sentence, or at-least you can never lead a normal and professional life (this is what I was told), I could never go to a regular school because I ''needed more guidance'', and I was excluded from normal children because ''I don't function with them'', something that I learned is that these institutions are essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy, the problem is that one of the main reasons I was placed in smaller groups is because ''Autistic children can't function well in larger groups'', so essentially their solution is to isolate those children from ever entering a large group, they say things like ''autistic children can never truly be social'' so they place a bunch of anti-social young boys in the same small room and hope that they'll learn social skills from others that lack it.
Today I can never be ''an educated person'' because I come off as ''too creepy'' around females, my permanent record has documented all forms of misdemeanors around girls, I remember being really upset as a teenager for my virginity, in fact my life and views of the world are quite similar at that age to those of the infamous Elliot Rodgers who went mad and killed others for being a virgin and invisible to those he wished to be ''the supreme gentleman'' to, I too had suffered from common violent tantrums because of my loneliness, I would get into fights, and I would scream in isolated forests all the time, the reason I never developed any social skills with women as a child is quite simple, my environment viewed women as ''superior beings'' or at-least gave me that impression, whenever I turned on the T.V. women were seen as the superior gender (T.V. Tropes ''the fairer sex'' for more information), and I grew up hating myself for being born male, it was before I was aware of what is called politically correct science, a quick example (not to fall off topic) is how when women's brains are more active when analyzing language we see it as if women have superior language skills, and when men's brains are more active when analyzing facial features we see it as if men have inferior empathic and body language reading skills, despite the fact that in that same situation, this type of pseudoscience also dominates the minds of those around me.
Another reason I didn't quite develop any skills with women is because special education is mostly male, for the hundreds of boys we had on my schools we only had 5 to 10 girls, the teachers gave them special treatment and special interests, they were always the teachers' pets, even when they had the lowest scores in class (something which surprised me as a young age because I was given the impression that ALL women are born geniuses), I even wanted to turn gay because I felt ''unworthy'' of female being, my best-friend went to a special school with a higher ratio of girls, he's more shy and less social than I but got girlfriends because the girls asked him out, further lacking of social skills can also be attributed to these special schools, not only did I not see women as ''equal human beings'' but as ''higher and scarce goddesses'' because of them, I immediately viewed any male as a perceived threat, you see when you place a lot of anti-social boys in one room they don't exactly develop social skills, though I did make lots of friends, autistic children can sometimes be similar to dogs, as in eye-contact is bad, ''simply looking the wrong way'' gets you bullied for years by those you looked at, with these snake-holes it's understandable that most children produced by these institutions turn out to be unemployable.
As for the dynamics, any social person got their skills outside, despite there being 10 girls and +/- 300 boys (of which 5 girls were in 1 class) all girls exclusively dated boys from outside of the school, and merely 1 or 2 had flings with male students, any boy with a girlfriend met her outside (the few that had), the boys with many friends made them mostly outside, they were mostly those that did things that require being together, sports and multiplayer video-games, a common lie we were all fed is that we'll need special provisions for the rest of our lives and that normal people can instantly recognize us and that we'll never get hired unless we'll do it through the government's special programmes, the latter is partially true, but only if the potential employer finds out that you're autistic, you see I've had a dozen jobs in my life, mostly as trainee and I'm still studying, only online as no physical school wants me anymore for my ''sexual intimidation'' (telling a female teacher that she has beautiful eyes repeatedly, and something she only complained about behind my back because my obese stature is ''intimidating'' despite the fact that she is the same height and fatness as I am), in fact I have solved most of my social issues by avoiding the label of autist.
Most older people like to joke that ''kids these days are over-diagnosed'' and that ''if they would go to a psychiatrist they would get all sorts of mental disabilities'', while I know a handful that actually got tested, all of them were ''clean'', and partially the de-socialising of these children is due to the system that punishes them for diagnosis, and if you've blended well enough, long enough you'll learn that it wasn't your autism that held you back, but the school system, I got a traineeship at an office, I remember one day that a woman gave me 5 Euro's, the price of the product I had to buy was 5 Euro's, the problem is that this is a business supplier, so they have the idiotic system of the Americans, by adding the tax later, literally no other type of store does this in the Netherlands so I had to come back, the woman who sent me out said that the reason I couldn't pay enough is because ''he's autistic and doesn't understand how these things work'' despite the fact that she gave me the money, and she sent me out to do it, autism becomes a weird justification for all kinds of dismissals, so later I started volunteering, at most facilities almost no-one knew that I was autistic, only at one place did someone know because another autistic kid from my old school started whispering behind my back that I suffered from it, but he got mad at me when I told everyone that he knows because he also has it, somehow I broke ''his bond with his colleagues'' and it meant that suddenly he felt more discrimination too.
The worst part about autism is the label, nothing else, social skills you can learn, I got a girlfriend because I kept it a secret from her that I'm autistic, I got to work at some places because I didn't introduce myself with ''I'm autistic'', and I tend to avoid places where they know me, of-course volunteering isn't a real job and the government has sent a Job-coach to help me look for jobs, my largest problem with him, literally the first thing he does is tell everyone that I'm autistic, and now I've had him for 3 years and he found me exactly 0 jobs, even volunteering jobs I could've gotten and were even offered to me before they knew I was autistic, I remember giving him a list where they wanted me before, he opened his big mouth, and now they avoid me like the plague, this is why I want to move from my province, have a fresh start, it's better to be an anti-social person who is just ''quirky'' than ''that autistic bloke'' because nothing breaks faith in you quicker than that diagnosis, my entire life I've been told that my entire person revolves around my diagnosis, I went to special schools, got ''special friends'', and could only get jobs as a trainee because no-one dared to hire an autistic person full-time, most of my friends suffer from the same, and the only places I'm truly welcome are those where they don't know.
The only reason autism doesn't define who I am is because I don't let it, not like how my parents, schools, and sports associations constantly made me feel more like a walking label than a human being, when I wanted to get my theory exam for my drivers' license there were 2 types of people those that knew I was autistic wanted me to get the special ''autistic and intellectually limited test'' where the questions are slower and they pretty much treat you like an adult baby, and the other ones just treated me like a normal person, I did the tests and I made it, I did the normal tests, I don't get special treatment because I ask for it, I get special treatment because everyone who knows that I'm autistic sees me as less than human, and the only people who consider me ''equal'' are those that are unaware, my advice to any other autistic man out there, tell no-one, there is no benefit.
Some notes: I skipped a class as a young kid, and I believe skipped one again, but I stayed an extra year because they wanted me to go to the school where all the bullies went and I had to get there kicking and screaming, in that school I also graduated a year early, causing me to wait 2 extra years because there was a minimum of 18 to enter the school I mentioned I was banned from, and my middle-school's teachers told me that I would ''become the youngest student ever there'', but the long years of nothing caused me to become a regular student and I've wasted many years of my life simply standing in line for special education, if I was born in ANY other country that doesn't have a system as stupid as the Netherlands or Flanders where special education is always the lowest level regardless of the intelligence of the students (because all my teachers said that my grades made me ''over-qualified'' but my social skills impaired me from entering their schools, and that they won't accept any special needs students), so my story may sound like my diagnosis would make it a bigger disadvantage than most other autistic children will experience, but that has mostly to do with my country's education system, and the fact that they use the lowest denominator for assigning classes and subjects, often leaving the more intelligent students behind on those of similar intelligence and grades. And behaviour is a larger indicator for the level you'll follow here in the Netherlands than intelligence.