I believe I could be a possible match for ADHD

Hi. I'm a twenty year old male, and recently I've come to terms that there may be something wrong with me and believe ADHD--or maybe even Aspergers--are more than possibilities. I was never diagnosed as anything when I was a kid, probably because I'm not, and never was, a fidgeter, or one of those people who constantly shakes their legs; I also did very well in school, and I'm currently in university on a partial scholarship doing a double major, which I have no problems managing the workload and maintaining high grades.

My main problem is I have trouble talking with certain people; with these people, I don't usually get in depth with conversations - it's more like 'Hey. How are you' 'Fine thanks, and you?' - and that's it; they usually view me as the 'shy guy'. When I'm forced to go past this, I struggle - big time. It's usually out of a boredom - when I have absolutely no interest in the topic. When this happens: I struggle with eye contact, constantly change my posture, my face will sometimes blush, and I just become anxious. I often get this 'What are you?' type of look. However, this only occurs with certain people; there are many people who I love to talk to, especially about topics that I'm interested in, but for those who I don't connect with, it's extremely awkward for both them and I.

I'm very impulsive: I chain-smoke cigarettes; I drink cup-after-cup of coffee; I go to the gym practically everyday; I frequently change jobs; I just become addicted to certain things, and even subjects, easily. I'm also a very angry person with a short fuse, and when someone sets me off, I act purely out of impulse; there's no rational for me, except beating the $#%^ out of someone. I give off a lot of bad vibes to people - it's just something I can sense - which has limited my success with relationships, particularly with women. I also lack empathy - it's just not all there.

Some other things of possible significance:

Many thoughts run through my mind daily - sometimes I remind myself of something stupid I said/did and want to curse out loud.
My mother has a mild form of OCD, and my father is an alcoholic.
I always have lots of things on the go, but I'm not really a procrastinator.
I'm pretty organized with time, finances, etc.
I was involved with a girl for over a year, who I believe had HPD; with that said, I was very stressed out by her lying, cheating, manipulation, etc., and I'm still haunted by her to this day.

Hi,

To be honest, AvPD doesn't strike me as being 'you'. There is something amiss,. but it just doesn't come across as AvPD. Asperger's is a good candidate, so maybe stick with that so that you can learn more about yourself. Regarding situations where you 'have to' talk to people, what if I asked you this: Is it really necessary to talk at all? What's wrong with just sitting there and saying nothing? You can listen, but by no means are you required to ever speak if you don't want to. Listen-in, process what's being said (and follow the conversation), and then only speak if you genuinely want to. Do'nt feel pressured.

Also, regarding the gym and other such things, could you start to try to cut-down on how often you do them? The mere obsessional nature that these have in your life could be the one thing that disrupts your social skills' progression. If you carry out your obsessions less, then it frees-up more time to develop different aspects of your life, no?

Kevin

Chucky wrote:Hi,

To be honest, AvPD doesn't strike me as being 'you'. There is something amiss,. but it just doesn't come across as AvPD. Asperger's is a good candidate, so maybe stick with that so that you can learn more about yourself. Regarding situations where you 'have to' talk to people, what if I asked you this: Is it really necessary to talk at all? What's wrong with just sitting there and saying nothing? You can listen, but by no means are you required to ever speak if you don't want to. Listen-in, process what's being said (and follow the conversation), and then only speak if you genuinely want to. Do'nt feel pressured.

It depends on the setting. For example, when I'm in a lecture for university, which I'm extremely comfortable with, I find it very easy to process the information, and if I want to say something - no big deal. In a small group, however, I find it much harder, and become distracted; I think about eye-contact - stuff like that - and generally just become nervous, and say stupid things. If I don't say anything at all, I worry I'll be viewed as shy; throughout some of my life I've been criticized as being shy, and I hate it.

My biggest problem is associated with this, because I definitely give off bad vibes to people; I occasionally get this 'what are you' type of look, and it really bothers me - one of my friends even asked me if I was a sociopath. Once people start showing me these awkward signs, it just gets worse, and I just feel helpless and lonely.

Also, regarding the gym and other such things, could you start to try to cut-down on how often you do them? The mere obsessional nature that these have in your life could be the one thing that disrupts your social skills' progression. If you carry out your obsessions less, then it frees-up more time to develop different aspects of your life, no?

Kevin

Those things are like my scapegoats; I hate being contained somewhere for long periods of time, so I'll just go for a smoke, get a cup of coffee, etc. I thought it could be Aspergers too, and still think it's a possibility; however, I haven't noticed, at least a far as I remember, this behaviour in me, up until midway through this year. I also have a hunch that it may be anxiety related, as for the first time in my life this year I experienced a panic attack, but whatever it is I just don't want to feel awkward anymore; at the same time, however, I don't want to be labeled with something that will prevent me from attaining a decent job, y'know?

You were called a sociopath too? I was callled it many years ago by some youngsters on a bus who i didn't even know. So, what did I do?- I sat down in the seat behind them for the 90 minute journey. that shut them up.

I think it is advisable to settle on a condition that you feel you relate to. I say this because I recall 'delaying' over what was wrong with me, and it was like being stucky in limbo. Once I then settled on Asperger's syndrome, my life then began to improve. All that you've said so far relates to it, so many you should juist 'go along' with that?

Haha yeah. Psychology is one of my two majors, so I've done stuff on sociopaths, who I find extremely interesting people, and I told some of my friends about the disorder, and they were like, 'Wow. That's like you...' I guess the best thing to go with is Aspergers, even thought I have a lot of doubts about the disorder. I've taken many of the Aspergers tests online, which I understand don't mean a whole lot, but I never score anywhere near the required to fit a possible diagnosis. There are just certain things about Aspergers that don't fit me. I understand anxiety can do a lot of weird things to you, and have been thinking that that could a possibility as well. In the past, I've had panic attacks, and have always been the one to worry about things. I just started to cut a lot of things that may be problems, like coffee, marijuana (which I hate anyways), alcohol, and started going for runs; if these things don't help me, I'm just going get prescribed some drugs or something.

Well done for starting the running and cutting-out the other things. It might still take some time for your body to adapt. I know that a withdrawal from coffee/caffeine can result in slugishness and headaches, but your energy levels do pick-up again. the thing to note about Asperger's Syndrome is that it was originally described in relation to children. therefore, one would expect that the symptoms of it fade with time. The thinking is that people with Asperger's CAN still manage to deal with life and have intelligence. therefore, they learn to adapt to their symptoms.

Kevin

To the OP:

Teachers don't mind inattentive students who are shy and withdrawn instead of restless and noisy, so you've had that going for you. I can relate to the obsessive thoughts and social anxiety because I have them too. My only official diagnosis, as far as I know, is OCD, but my therapist says she sees most signs of ADD and my psychiatrist thinks I have a "slight" touch of Aspie.

No offense, but if you have violent impulses and no empathy, you shouldn't be surprised if people think you're a socio. Kudos for kicking the stimulants, though. That should help. I have an addictive personality too, and had to give up a lot (well, it seemed like a lot at the time) to get a level head. Now that I think about it, my empathy also began to improve around that time, but I think that was more of a chance coincidence (sudden moral awakening following an act of cruelty). Try reading biographies. Yes, I know, I recommend that for all social problems, but real people generally aren't as boring as our society compels them to act in public and empathy comes easily when you see how much they're like you on the inside.


To anyone with an answer:

What's this I hear about ADD being related to AsPD, anyway? They don't look much alike at all to me. Was it just a rumor, or is it something about their biological underpinnings?