Spouse of ADD adult

Wondering if any one can suggest a forum or online resource for spouses (wives in particular) living with the ADD adult.

My husband was diagnosed at 50 after a series of medications that did not seem to help. After this roller coaster I finally got the family physician to request a full psych evaluation. The computer test for ADD showed a 98% confidence for that diagnosis. He of course has had it all his life. We will be married (amazingly enough) 25 years this summer. Lord knows we have had our moments and I seriously considered leaving several times and had an affair (and some brief encounters). He also. I think we're too stubborn sometimes to leave! Anyway I am needing help to recognize some of the day to day stuff and change some of the ways I approach things. I also think he could benefit from a coach or someone who is more helpful in managing. We are still seeing the neuropsychologist who first did the testing like once a month but think we (he) needs something else.

Thank you!!

I was also diagnosed with ADD at around the age of 50. There are a number of good books about adult ADD; many give lists of suggestions of how to manage life. Over the years, I discovered many ways of adjusting to my condition. One that helps me the most is to get a scap of paper each morning and write my schedule on it. I can't handle the number of things that could fit on a larger piece of paper. On the bottom of the paper, I write the few things that absolutely have to be done like phone calls, mail, and appointments. On the top are things that will be due in a day or two. I also exercise a great deal--it calms my mind and drains off some of my excess energy.

Actually, having ADD can be a big plus. I've had the energy to run marathons, climb mountains, and earn a black belt.
Good Luck,
James

Thanks so much for your reply and sharing your website. You have a lot of good info there. I am also a grad student in counseling psych and art therapy. You would think I might have better strategies in dealing with my husband's ADD (he was also diagnosed with GAD, depression,and reading disorder if I didn't mention that already) But it's because I'm too emotionally involved.

His problems have not been as serious. He hasn't been drinking but we went through a period where he did and he cannot drink! He is on Strattera, Cymbalta, and has recently been taking a muscle relaxant for a back strain. He is a WSI and teaches swim lessons so he thinks he gets his exercise for the day. But I see an increasing girth, lax at home, and almost no sex life. He doesn't initiate and doesn't respond much when I do. Any notice of these things of course puts him on the defensive...no matter how I say it!

I want to print you last reply and info from your site and let him read it if he would.....or I could read it to him. Just letting him know that I am seeking help to understand.

I do believe he could use this to his advantage. Did you say if you are on any meds?

Thanks and hope to continue the dialog.

BB