Can an aspie get a girlfriend?

meinsla wrote:Thanks, Spektyr. You provide a lot of valuable insight on things. I guess I can see you're right. I guess that situation isn't something I should fret about. I can just hope I am luckier next time.

As much as I might like to think that I'm prone to being "right", the logical side of my brain knows better. I have information and advice that is likely to be useful to some (but most likely not all) people. Just like the topic it's best not to focus too much on concepts of "right" or "wrong" as much as the concept of "useful" versus "not useful".

It is useful to know, for instance, what particular bait to use to catch fish on a particular day in a particular location. One could say that this information is "right", but it's not universally so. Some days certain baits work better than others on the exact same fish, other days other baits.

However, I have found it nearly universally useful to not obsess over what you may or may not achieve in your lifetime. Worrying about whether or not you'll accomplish something is almost never useful in making that happen.

sderenzi wrote:No it's not possible, I am 25 going on 26 and never, ever, ever had a girlfriend or even touched more than 2 girls that weren't related to me

Keep in mind here that you're not the sum total of all people with Asperger's. If you'd shown the respect due the other members of the forum and read the replies to the original post you'd see that you're claiming something to be impossible which many other people have accomplished. You have not yet. Yet. That doesn't mean it can't be done.

If the inability to do something thus far equated impossibility no significant advance would ever been made. Can you make fire by rubbing two sticks together? "Nope, I've tried it and haven't gotten fire. Therefore it's impossible."


Does it royally suck being an Aspie looking for love? Almost unequivacably.

Does that mean it's impossible to find it? Not at all. Think of it this way: is the best stuff the easiest to get or the hardest?


You can't force romantic relationships. There's no eins-zwei-drei German precision to get from A to B on this. So just don't bother trying to make it happen. Focus on something more interesting that has a workable chain of steps to follow and let the romance thing work itself out. Work on your social skills, interpersonal skills, learn new ways to improve yourself as a potential friend to others. It'll all come in handy when you meet someone special. (Strictly speaking it's not required, but your future significant others will appreciate the effort even if it meets with measured success.)