Are you a perfectionist?

I am a life-long perfectionist, and I suspect some of you guys are too!

My mum commented on this from my very earliest days, and I can still see it in myself now. In professional terms it is a distinct bonus, as an eye for detail is considered a positive. But in my private life it can be more of a pain, e.g. why do I need identical tyres front and rear on my MTB, and why is this soooo much more important than practicality? Why do I see a missed apostrophe before the actual meaning of a sentence? These are only two examples of MANY ...

Your comments, please!

Lol you sound like me!

I've gotten a lot more relaxed about it, but when I was little, EVERYTHING had to be symmetrical. I remember making sure the seam of my pants was perfectly centered when I was about 9. My socks had to be at equal places on my ankles. It drove my crazy if anything was crooked. At this point in time, I still have to have equally worn socks....one can't be wearing thin and the other still thick....bugs the heck outta me lol! I still like to center and align items on a table, such as silverware. I know what you mean about practicality vs. perfection. It seems like the things I'm a perfectionist about are things that only I would notice, and the things that society says are supposed to be a certain way are neither here nor there to me. Just like the tires, as you said Why do clothes have to match? Isn't texture more important? I notice typos like a hawk They irritate me to no end! Everyone seems to have their own unique quirks

I think i am but in a very mysterious way. I know I am human and far from perfect, thats why many times i say to my self "it doesnt worth doing it cause, you are not gonna do it right". So i end up doing almost nothing, only with the illusion of what is the "perfect" way to do something.

@sabrdawg: This sounds too similar to be true!!! Glad I posted now

I line up cutlery in the drawer ... doesn't take long, but it looks sooo much better. Heck, equally worn socks ... never considered it, but I will only wear merino wool socks and any inequality in wear is a big no-no (thank you for enlightening me to that), although I can tolerate equal wear if I am particularly attached to a particularly threadbare pair

Texture is definitely more important, but this is something I could only acknowledge recently. I can dress smartly whe I have to, but the relief of getting back into jeans, t-shirt and trainers is immense!

I could NOT consider going out on my bike with "unequal" tires, although the mud splattered everywhere is not a problem. Typos ... , although my own are more of an embarrassment than an insult

@Picaro: but your way of doing things is best for you, as it is for me. It's taken me a long time to realise this, but I'm defending my viewpoint more these days

... what a lot of smilies

So much so that my work and private life suffers substantially. For my job when working on projects I require all parts down to the smallest of screws to be exactly matching. If they are not, the entire project is placed on halt until I can find exactly what would make that project perfect. I lose a lot of time (often hours almost daily) over the smallest of insignificant matter that no one will ever see except for me having knowledge of its existance; that thought offers zero comfort...

Basically the same deal applies within my private life except if I start to organize or fix something then realize it cannot be done exactly as planned, that project is scrapped until further notice and can remain that way for many years.

I also have a bad tendency to over fix just about everything in effort to make it just right. Recently my car for example, the electronic braking system failed. I determined the pressure switch was bad but decided to replace the entire unit and its relays because of age (reasonable assumption I thought). I couldve stopped there but no. I replaced the brake hoses and the calipers. During the process, I noticed the lower ball joint boot had a small hole. When I removed it from the steering knuckle, the knuckle hub bearings, the cv joints and swaybar bushings were not up to my standard so besides replacing the two knuckles with a heavy duty version, the bearings, cv axles, lower ball joints, and swaybar bushings were all replaced as well. Long story short, from one little faulty sensor, I managed to justify replacing over 14 parts and counting...

I was when a child and young adult, but have succeeded in getting over it. It can be crippling. Due to the crafty nature of my profession, I can let just enough of the beast out of the cage to make my work of good quality, without completely ruining my ability to earn a living.

Thanks for the replies!

I hope no one thought I was trying to imply that perfectionism is always a good (or mildly amusing) thing ... I realise that it can have quite a debilitating side too.

I'm torn on it, to be honest, as the "lighter" side of it does revolve around silly or annoying things like socks and going nuts if I see a missing apostrophe. I can see the funny side of this, and my husband tolerates most of my peculiarities most of the time.

However, it definitely caused problems for me when I was a child, when I could not see my own perfectionism. This led me to do very well academically at school, but it also resulted in periodic burnout that I struggle to manage at times even these days. Nevertheless, attention to detail, needing to get things just right, combined with the ability to focus intensely on things, have all helped me to succeed in work to a certain extent. I guess it's just part of me, and a part of a lot of people with AS, meaning that we need to play to our strengths, even if that can be tough at times.

Yes.

EBR wrote:Basically the same deal applies within my private life except if I start to organize or fix something then realize it cannot be done exactly as planned, that project is scrapped until further notice and can remain that way for many years.

That's an interesting vocalisation, I've never thought about it like that.