A friend thinks I may have Asperger's

I recently got treatment for social anxiety (finally something different than the bipolar label I dealt with for the past couple of years of antidepressants and anti-psychotics). I got prescribed Lamictal and Klonopin. So, I'll see how that goes. I don't know if I believe it's asperger's or any type of disorder. I really don't trust people anymore and it's just a crappy attitude of mind towards life and it's unfulfilling games. There's no bond or connection with much of anymore. People all seem like more problems and headaches the more you get involved with them. I guess it's rather cynical and I'm not seeing the good in it all. I try to, but I just feel better off with people leaving me be -- I got nothing for them.

I suppose it's pretty sad. I got a ton of hobbies that don't involve other people (bowling alone, golfing alone, drumming and making music, but never finding people I jive with as far as that goes). I'm not interested in dating anymore. I'm still a virgin. I'm not very affectionate. I guess I'm afraid of the flakiness, selfishness of people. Can't depend on them for much and I also loathe/hate myself. I'm also afraid to get close to anybody cause you never know when it will all fall apart and won't be the same anymore. It's such a bother to be anybody. I get tired of playing human.

"Many smash the mirror that reminds them of their ugliness. They cannot stand to see those who saw them."
Baltasar Gracian

I never let go of things. I still hear words from people who probably don't remember me anymore. I still feel shame or guilt for things that have been forgotten about. I guess I was a lousy person. Ah, what an orgy of self-pity. Desperation, expectations, fear and pride get the bet of me. I don't know what I'm going to do with this stupid life.

I have both aspergers and bipolar NOS aswell as previous genralized and social anxiety diagnosis. I currently take sodium valproate 2100mg riperidone 1mg rivotril 1.mg duloxetine 60mg. I can relate to alot of your post, people can be so confusing and hard to read. Past negative and overwhelming situations have a way of holding much stronger memories and lead us to becoming more discouraged from trying and trusting again.

If it's not Asperger's, you might want to look up Avoidant Personality Disorder. It could be you.

There's also Schizoid Personality Disorder, too.