Getting a DX (and making friends)

I've been putting off going to the GP to try and figure out if I do infact have Aspergers, I feel very nervous about even going in to make an appointment, how to bring it up, and the questions they'll ask, of which I know (KNOW) my answer will be "Erm..." until I think of the way to give an answer hours later.

If I did manage to explain to them why I thought I may have Aspergers, then what? Who would I ask to be referred to? If it's not Aspergers would the person I'm referred to be able to tell me what it is (what is closely related by the way?), or would I be back to step one.

Or, should I even bother trying to get a DX? In my head I have Aspergers and thinking that is helping me overcome some of the difficulties I feel, even if it's just my mindset on certain things (such as conversations and doing work), it's stopped me thinking I'm just a weirdo acting/reacting in ways that aren't normal, but maybe I am just a weirdo. It's OK coming on this forum and taking positives from the things that are written here, but it doesn't feel enough to help me actually function in society, although it does help me understand why I perhaps don't.

I worked out today I haven't made one proper friend since school, when making friends was all but forced upon you, I have made an acquaintance at work but again it's been forced upon me. It's 7 years since I left school, my schoolmates have new friends/partners/jobs so I don't really see anyone except this girl at work. I've been thinking about it because I've finished my contract at work now so I won't see her either.

In my head I just feel this is just me being a weirdo, and the Doctors are going to confirm that. I think they'll try and convince me that I don't have Aspergers and I'm just a bit anxious, and I won't be able to explain to them the problems. Last time I got referred (before I read about Aspergers) I didn't know what to expect and spent 3 x 1 hour sessions talking about getting on the bus, being handed worksheets about anxiety, and then gave it up.

Ugh, I have typing dihorrea here I don't know if I've explained what it was I set out too, but thoughts on getting a DX and how to explain to the GP why I think I have it or what I hope to get out of a DX would be good.

Wish i had answers for you but i'm wondering a lot of the same things...i was planning to go directly to an autism specialist (i think they're often neuropsychologists, from what i've read), but unfortunately my insurance won't cover this and i don't have thousands of $ to sink into testing that might not come back with a dx (although i can't IMAGINE anyone would think that i don't have AS, i have a generally low opinion of the abilities of medical and mental health practitioners, so who knows).

I would like to have the dx, though, if nothing else just to reassure myself that i'm not just being dramatic or whatever.

...spent 3 x 1 hour sessions talking about getting on the bus...

Why, do you have a hard time getting on the bus? Because i know i do...i get so anxious...

Yeah I'm bothered I'll be seen as dramatic, my Mum says the sympthoms could apply to anyone so that hasn't helped.

Well I went in and it was about "mild depressed/anxiety", so she asked me what the problem was so I began trying to explain and started with getting on the bus, I get a weekly ticket so you show the driver and I can't really work out how long to hold it up for, unless they say "Yeah, thanks" but usually they don't say anything, so it's worrying about that, as if they don't say anything I'm not to a seat before they speed off so I could look a prat. Then I don't know how busy it'll be, whether I'll be able to have an empty seat in front and behind me, whether it'll be noisy, how to choose a seat, etc.

All I could say was about the crowds as I've had that problem for a long time in various situations, I couldn't explain the rest, so I spent the sessions trying to explain, but just saying the same thing about the crowds. It made me feel like I was wasting her time.

Also, she told me at the start of the first session that it'd be 3 face-to-face appointments and 3 telephone appointments, and if she felt I needed more time I'd be referred to somebody else. That made me feel, um, pressure or whatever. Uncomfortable.

3 months later I can explain that one thing quite well... Well, on a forum with time to think anyway.

-- Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:53 am --

And I missed all of the telephone appointments (hate the phone, probably should have explained that to her too) so she sent me a letter saying sorry I couldn't make the telephone appointments or phone to re-arrange so I'm referring you back to your GP.

-- Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:54 am --

Oh, and thanks, btw.

Well, i totally get what you're saying about the bus, my issues are very similar. Like, when i get on, do i say something to the driver...? I used to have the exact same problem with the bus pass as you do; nowadays i don't have a pass so i have to put dollar bills in the machine at the front, which is like OMG what if the machine doesn't work (this actually happened the other day, i held up the whole bus and was totally mortified). If there's not a seat that's not next to anyone i just stand and try not to fall over, which leads to people inviting me to sit, and when i tell them "no thanks i'd rather stand" they look at me like i'm insane...

I hate the phone too...i emailed a couple of so-called autism specialists, only one replied, she gave me prices and told me to give her a call to discuss. Needless to say that never happened...

Like i say, i wish i had a solution for you, but i don't...but you're definitely not alone in any of this. Not sure if that helps at all but it is what it is.

No, it does help, and yes that "you are insane" look, I know it well hahaha.

Perhaps somebody who has got a DX will reply and help us both then!

Basically, how do I bring it up with the GP, and what should I say?

When i moved to France i had to give my medical history to the GP there.

GP: Aspergers? What is that?
Me: a form of autism
GP: (long pause whilst thinking) But that's only with children isn't it
Me: It's like autism but you can talk (cynical, passed right over her head)
GP: Oh.

Exactly the same thing for me at the moment. I'm still on the "journey of discovery" and waiting for the appointment date of a second referral (this time to a different doctor). The first was a waste of time looking back and I had the same thought processes you have described. I have a massive tendancy to understate things to do with myself and downplay them, coupled with no skills in explaining how I feel about anything (usually because I dont know for sure myself) which doesn't help the doctor do their bit I guess.

I posted on here just before I went for the first appointment and people said they won't ask you "so why do you think you have AS". Well, I was asked that straight out and immediately couldn't construct a reasonable answer and the rest of the session followed suit. I'd actually taken a print out of some of the things Id posted on here when I first joined - a "whats wrong with me list" sort of thing and it didn't even dawn on me to refer to it. Anyway, in the UK you are supposed to have a choice now as to where you are treated so I was hoping for an Adult Autism specialist, of which there are two relatively close by. Instead I was given a choice of only one - and they are primarily a childrens service.

Dx for me before was part wanting it, part because I was curious, I now feel like I need it as it woud be the conclusion of everything else I've come to know / learn over the past year. I suppose I could add to that that its also so I don't feel like I'm barking mad and I can start a new (perhaps better) and more balanced stage of my life.

lets see.... grade school til I started college I was a energizer bunny of nervousness and anxiety, Starting college, I kinda stopped with the nervousness talking to new people. Then I realized they are...people, Now I just have no desire to talk to new people.

I guess practice is the key. Do it a few times and you'll realize you are making a big deal out of nothing. + being nervous when talking shows and it impacts your chances of friendship when they sense you cant be comfortable around them. I just figure, if it goes well it goes well, if it goes bad it goes bad. There are 20,000+ students at my college, I'm sure I can find at least 1 person in 20,000. So nervousness slowly faded, and eventually got replaced with a "I don't want to be on this planet" attitude. If Newt Gingrich can be elected in my state, what hope is there?

I understand you well, but cannot offer any advice. THose two describe me well:

373 wrote:Well I went in and it was about "mild depressed/anxiety", so she asked me what the problem was so I began trying to explain and started with getting on the bus

ljg666 wrote: have a massive tendancy to understate things to do with myself and downplay them, coupled with no skills in explaining how I feel about anything (usually because I dont know for sure myself) which doesn't help the doctor do their bit I guess.

zausel wrote: So nervousness slowly faded, and eventually got replaced with a "I don't want to be on this planet" attitude.

That is sad, really.