visiting or being visited?

which do you prefer when meeting with people? being at their house or yours? neither? where else? why?

-camelidae

Safe neutral ground with a clear view in all directions, something to back up against, multiple exits, and a ready excuse to hurry off. Failing that, I play dead until they tire of poking at me and leave.

I really hate when people are in my home. But that's still my favourite place to meet then because I'm president there. If I want them gone they cannot stay. I Don't need to eat on others disgusting porcelain, I don't trust how they dish them. I get to eat what I want, and if it's a sleepover I get to sleep in my own bed.

ok-so_now_what wrote:Safe neutral ground with a clear view in all directions, something to back up against, multiple exits, and a ready excuse to hurry off. Failing that, I play dead until they tire of poking at me and leave.

I agree, a safe neutral ground, I hate people coming to my home, its my home nobody will tell me otherwise.

I do however hate people coming around - even my nan, does that seem strange? I don't mind visiting her, but we end up having to take her to the shops or whatever in my car, I really hate it. I feel trapped!

I do however have to have one of my sisters or my mum on standby ready to pick me up.

The first time I went out, on my own to a pub with an old school friend - known him nearly 20 years - dam, 20 years... anyway I was dropped off, and had my mum park around the corner and wait for me to be picked up just incase things don't go well after 10 years of not seeing the guy.

Apathy don't you think they are judging you, your home how do you get them to leave without seeming like a total...?

ogr wrote:Apathy don't you think they are judging you, your home how do you get them to leave without seeming like a total...?

Well, honestly I couldn't care less what they think. And I'm good at improvisation and manipulation. I almost always have people exactly where I want them.

How on earth do you do that?

What do you do if they sit in your seat?

ogr wrote:How on earth do you do that?

What do you do if they sit in your seat?

It comes naturally for me. I play people easy, maybe because I come from a family of actors.
If someone sit in my seat... depending on my motives I either let him or I ask kindly "May I get my chair back?" or "I would like to sit at that chair, it's my favourite".
The person then excuses himself and moves to another seat.

I also always take the dishes, because then I know it's clean and I'm looking like a good host.

My home is my sanctuary; I dont even like when family visits let alone an associate. To visit someones home including family is even worst. As said before, a neutral public sparsely occupied space is ideal...

I think I haven´t answered my own question.

Neutral environment for me. Makes it impossible for the meeting to take ages. It is easier to get away if needed and going some place gives it a direction (you go to the cinema to watch a movie, you meet at a restaurant to eat ect. whereas with visiting someone or being visited you do.. what exactly..?).

I don´t like people messing with my things. I feel like they will violate my privacy. Plus, as a host, I´m responsible for them having a good time and I don´t deal well with expectations. By staying at somebody elses place they are the ones responsible. Then again I am not in control of how things go and I cannot deal with that either.

You can easily invite people around for a meal?

With me though, I love to cook, but only my sister has some how cracked me.

I dish up, and I believe you eat all on your plate else you didn't like the meal. However if you eat all of your meal you are still hungry and I didn't cook enough.

My sister has worked out away to put what she can't eat in the fridge and eat it later, therefore she is full, and loves the meal to finish it off later. Works every time I never get offended even if its just chips (fries for americans). They are always gone in the morning - no evidence of being thrown out either.

To save putting people in the same situation as myself - I have worked out a system, don't eat out.