How do you feel about talking on the phone?

I´ve read something about people with AS having a dislike for talking on the phone. The reason, I think, was that they supposedly have trouble knowing when it is their turn to talk.

So now I´d like to know how you feel about phone calls. If you actually do dislike them, why? If you, as I´ve read, are not sure about when to speak, could you please elaborate on that? I personally only have trouble figuring out what to say, not when, so would be interested what it is like. Maybe you like calling someone afterall, or even prefer it to talking face to face? Neutral?

I used to write a script of the call I was planning on having. If anyone knows Adrian Monk and how he operates, that is pretty much how I used to do it (and still do with strangers).

-Camelidae

I hate being called. Don't like it all. It's unprepared. I have no time to compose myself. Makes me anxious. So i have callscreener on my cellphone which effectively only lets through my gf, the rest go to the voicemail. If there is no voicemail then the call wasn't important so i ignore it.

Me calling someone else is about the same as talking to someone else so i do that only when strictly necessary. In that there is no special extra problem.

I strongly dislike phones. I never answer it unless I really trust the person that's calling, or if I need to in order to accomplish something. When I was younger I had problem with taking turns, even in a face to face conversation. I have learned tough how the basics of a conversation works, you have to listen to the other person and say something like "I understand" or "yeah, it is". Or if it fits you can even repeat what the other person said, for example if she says "Meatballs are disgusting" You can reply "yeah, meatballs are disgusting". Well, back to topic.

I often miss how people react to what I'm saying in face to face, it's even harder on the phone. If I say something that the other person finds offensive I almost never know. That makes the phone dangerous for me. That problem is the same for chats and forums.
I have a mobile phone that only important persons have the number to, my stationary home phone isn't even plugged in.

I dislike it , When I had a girlfriend I really didnt like talking on the phone , I find it hard to think what to say. I think theres more pressure to talk on the phone because its the only focus, You feel pressured to make conversation because of the awkward silence to me the akward silence is worse on a phone then in real life. Sometimes I feel hyped up and when talking on the phone If i find it akward I try to hype myself up so i feel more confident and I talk more , but its not nessarily good talk its me ranting on or joking or just plain talking rubbish but to me it feels like iam actualy a good socializer.

I agree with the above ... I have caller identification on my landline and cell, and if I don't know the caller/don't feel like speaking, I won't answer. If it's someone I trust, I will chat and can talk quite freely, but this really is with a very small number of people.

I'm not sure whether it has anything to do with turn-taking in my case, but I do know that I do not like the unpredictability of phone calls. This is why I love email - I can draft and redraft until I'm happy with the message and how it will be interpreted. It's funny, but I really never considered this until I started looking into whether I fit the criteria for AS, and then I realised that I am perhaps not your average phone user!

I also find it difficult to know what the other person might be thinking, and I often need to check that they follow my drift (and me theirs).

My OH is even worse on the phone though, and he is an NT (I think), so it's not just us Aspies, although it's a very logical and understandable reaction to the dreaded unpredicatbility

When I was little, I would talk on the phone with my best friend in elementary school for 2-3 hours at a time. That was the only way I could converse with him outside of school (it was 1999-2000). It was awkward for me because I did not know when it was my "turn" to speak. It happens all the time now too. My mom will try saying something and I'll interrupt and then take it out on her.

Not a fan. when, where,how, what is all I need, then bye. Usually I cant keep my attention on a phone call. Ill end up having someone repeat something a few times almost everything they say. When you on a phone, you can do other things to, which is exactly what I do most of the time.

I prefer face to face talking actually. It makes me have to focus more(doesn't work fully though), so I can keep up a little easier.

I don't care all that much for talking on the phone either, but I owned a mail order business where I spent hours talking on the phone, so I did learn some adaptations.

I seem to have particular difficulty tuning out outside noises, and being able to concentrate on what people are saying. I found using a dual-earpiece headset phone with volume control immensely helpful, because it tunes out outside noises, really lets you concentrate on what they're saying, and the volume control was helpful for obvious reasons. The built in microphone was helpful too, because it leaves your hands free. I used those to write down pertinent information on scratch pads I always had handy, because in the beginning I went through a spell of being bad at transposing numbers and learned to be very anally careful in writing them down correctly.

One thing I like about phone conversations, is when people call you (at least on a business-oriented call) they say who they are, so then I can act like their best friend in the world. Without that identification, I have great difficulty telling one person from another, and especially in person, I can see people many times and still not recognize who they are, much less associate a name with that - and, everybody expects to be recognized by name and greeted like an old time friend if they are any kind of repeat customer. I suck at that part in person. So, in a way, phone sales were much easier for me, especially for incoming calls.

Later after I sold that mail order business I had my home phone removed and I went 3 years without having a phone at all. Because of a past girlfriend I now have one again, but I don't initiate more than a handful of phone calls a month. It's only marginally useful to my life now.

I hate the phone too...here are my reasons:

• I don't like being interrupted by the phone ringing
• I get anxious because i don't know why the person is calling or what they're going to say or what i'm going to say...so i only answer calls from my immediate family and best friend
• i have a hard time understanding what people are saying so i'm always having to say "what??" over and over again
• It's impossible for me to get the emotion behind what people are saying over the phone...it's hard enough in person but on the phone, forget it. Leads to awkward moments where I have to say "um okay, is that good or bad?" and the person is like "OMG hello, it's great, obviously..."
• It's totally impossible for me to figure out if someone's joking on the phone. Once again, it's hard enough in person.

When I was a kid i always wrote a script if i was going to make a call, which i only did when my parents forced me. Nowadays i mostly just plan the conversation in my head before i call, but sometimes i'll write it if i feel particularly anxious. Sometimes i have a problem timing when to talk but that's really a minor issue compared to the things listed above.

Too bad i work as a secretary and spend most of my day making and answering phone calls. That was poor planning.

I agree with all the other posts. I really hate talking on the phone. It startles me when it rings and I have no idea what to say. I'm rarely happy to receive a call, and the other person can notice it. Most of the time I try to keep the ringer on silent. But I try to answer my calls because it's easier for me than calling someone back. I hate calling someone, because I can't find anything to say, except hi
I also interrupt the other person I'm speaking to, a lot. I notice that I wait for the other person to say something (to me, it seems like a long time) and since they don't speak, I start saying something and they start speaking too, at the same time. I used to feel really bad about it but I guess it's not so bad.
I also could not find a way to be interested in the conversation, unless I really like the other person. In those cases, I mostly stay quiet and let them speak. I'll be too nervous and I wouldn't want to interrupt them. I used to look at a picture of my ex-boyfriend when I was speaking with him on the phone, and it kept me interested in the conversation. Otherwise I'd feel trapped and become irritable holding a phone for more than a couple of minutes.