Question on Shutdowns!!

Hi Guys
Im just curious.My ex shut me out when I told him to go away.
He is ignoring friends of our aswell. He is not answering his phone to anyone but his Mother.
I guess he has shut out the world as well as me. ?? Is this common.??

Yes. If he has AS. I would. We take things literal. And indeed i'd cut all contact with anyone in common, throw away your pictures, souvenirs, stuff whatever and move on.

Go away? Ok. Bye Bye.

If someone pushes me to my limit (doesnt matter if it is justified or not) then yes, I will shut everyone out except for whom I may care for dearly... Sure; I should think it would be common...

Thanks for that.
Im so grateful I wasn't married to him or living with him.
I think its so sad that a person could wipe out a 4 year relationship like that, knowing the person who told him to go away was unwell. He has been alone most of his life. God bless him.

Sandysoo wrote:Thanks for that.
Im so grateful I wasn't married to him or living with him.
I think its so sad that a person could wipe out a 4 year relationship like that, knowing the person who told him to go away was unwell. He has been alone most of his life. God bless him.

Some people think that sociality is the most important thing in life...
Some neurotypical.

Sandysoo wrote:Thanks for that.
Im so grateful I wasn't married to him or living with him.
I think its so sad that a person could wipe out a 4 year relationship like that, knowing the person who told him to go away was unwell. He has been alone most of his life. God bless him.

God bless me, eh? I've been alone most of my life as well. I call these...shutdowns as you put them...meltdowns. All aspies have them, every once in a while. Even I have them. I hate having them so much that I avoid all that which can trigger meltdowns as much as possibly human.

Thanks gorganthor
Im trying to learn as much as I can. I didn't know my ex had Asperger's. If I had I would'nt have put so much pressure on him and tried to understand him better.
I must have sounded like an utter bitch to him, screaming my head off wanting him to be NT NT NT NT. Oh dear God?

Water under the bridge Sandy. He'll be fine.

Sandysoo wrote:Thanks gorganthor
Im trying to learn as much as I can. I didn't know my ex had Asperger's. If I had I would'nt have put so much pressure on him and tried to understand him better.
I must have sounded like an utter bitch to him, screaming my head off wanting him to be NT NT NT NT. Oh dear God?

You needn't be so formal with me or anyone else here. I have a proper first name, I expect it to be used (I added it onto my sig. so now everyone should see it). Asides from that, I can imagine seeing that as "a big show of bitching towards someone"...But tempers can flare in a relationship with a person with AS. I, having AS, cannot grasp why you would, like, freak out at an aspie and yelling what you did. I think you you should feel slightly (.05%) guilty for your actions but If I was he, I wouldn't have shut you out at all. I'd not talk to you for, like, a week to someone who yelled at me and yell what you yelled at him. But I wouldn't shut someone out especially if I was in, like, a relationship with that person. I just hope things turn back to normal betwixt the two of you. *EDIT: I mean I hope you two either A) stay friends or 2) get back together.*

I hope you'll get better Sandysoo, I had to correct the sentences to the readers . This is what I thought.
I'm pride to be aspie. I'm not good at giving advices in situations of love...
I know someone who gets angry with the rest of the world, he is not aspie he is not kind and he is not good. He has other problems, the situation isn't simple and still it has not managed to solve, so I don't think I am able to give advices, because it is too complicated.
A person must understand the intentions, the purpose, how is serious what the other does, what you specifically want in a relationship. It's very very complicated I think.