Poll: Relationships with a BPD

Is it just me, or is this thread really not making a great deal of sense - if there is one thing that is really going to disrupt your routine... its a pwBPD. Lol. (or any other cluster B, they are all unstable in one way or another.) Sorry but true.

petrossa wrote:I couldn't tell you, i'm not french so it must be some weird perverse fantasy of yours where PomPoms symbolize maybe something to you?

Hahaha!! I thought you were french and also you were cheering me on for some reason, hence the pom poms. My perverse fantasies rarely involve french men...

-- Fri Sep 16, 2011 8:49 pm --

katana wrote:Is it just me, or is this thread really not making a great deal of sense - if there is one thing that is really going to disrupt your routine... its a pwBPD. Lol. (or any other cluster B, they are all unstable in one way or another.) Sorry but true.

Hey!! What are you trying to say lol

katana wrote:Is it just me, or is this thread really not making a great deal of sense - if there is one thing that is really going to disrupt your routine... its a pwBPD. Lol. (or any other cluster B, they are all unstable in one way or another.) Sorry but true.

In some weird way it seems to work for more then one couple. Opposites attract?

I was in a 7 year long distance relationship with a man who suffered with BPD. The relationship was abusive in many ways, particularly emotional and mental abuse. Had it not been long distance, I'm 95% sure he would have been physically abusive in some way. He was suicidal, manipulative, a loose cannon, among other things. I'm better for the relationship if only because it taught me what a healthy relationship should be. It took a long time to unravel the damage he caused in my life, but I seem to be doing better. Granted, there were good times, and he wasn't all bad all the time, but he cheated on me 3 times, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I need emotions to be somewhat stable, and he lacked all stability.

Yeah. There is the male component i never considered that much. Evidently. I guess male BPD'rs are a whole different experience. Glad you shared that.

petrossa wrote:Yeah. There is the male component i never considered that much. Evidently. I guess male BPD'rs are a whole different experience. Glad you shared that.

Since I've only ever experienced the male component, any chance you could explain the differences between male and female symptoms? (If there is a difference, that is). I know there are different versions of BPD that make things difficult, but as far as there being differences between genders, I never even considered that.

Well i can't point out the difference because i never had a relationship with any male BPD or not.

I assume the biggest difference is the level of aggression/malice after the honeymoon period. As a quite blocky tallish guy a small female can't psychically do much harm other then with objects, and also i assume the the level/intensity/quality of verbal abuse will be higher.

Also what i now think of just now is the difference between female/male aspies. No matter how stereotypical this may sound, female aspies are more emotionally connected then males.

So in my relationship with my companion most of her abuse just slid of me like i was made of teflon. But her intense positive emotional charge was powerful enough to reach me.

BPD is very on/off. But if they are ON you are smothered in a bath of intense love. If they are OFF you are verbally/physically abused.

Since the latter didn't interest me it didn't stick. Over time the OFF periods became less severe and the ON periods longer. Now i have a total dream partner.

Intelligent, compassionate, caring, loving at a sustained high level. The only downside is you have to be very very careful with your words but that's a mall price to pay.

petrossa wrote:Well i can't point out the difference because i never had a relationship with any male BPD or not.

I assume the biggest difference is the level of aggression/malice after the honeymoon period. As a quite blocky tallish guy a small female can't psychically do much harm other then with objects, and also i assume the the level/intensity/quality of verbal abuse will be higher.

Also what i now think of just now is the difference between female/male aspies. No matter how stereotypical this may sound, female aspies are more emotionally connected then males.

So in my relationship with my companion most of her abuse just slid of me like i was made of teflon. But her intense positive emotional charge was powerful enough to reach me.

BPD is very on/off. But if they are ON you are smothered in a bath of intense love. If they are OFF you are verbally/physically abused.

Since the latter didn't interest me it didn't stick. Over time the OFF periods became less severe and the ON periods longer. Now i have a total dream partner.

Intelligent, compassionate, caring, loving at a sustained high level. The only downside is you have to be very very careful with your words but that's a mall price to pay.

BPD sure aint making a person a Neurotypical. So we cannot call them NT's, as they have a disorder with the word "disorder" with in the disorder.

There is that ofcourse. It's bit of a definition question since NT isn't an official word. To all intents and purposes however it means anyone who isn't in the ASD.

Since BPD aren't in the ASD they are NT.

petrossa wrote:There is that ofcourse. It's bit of a definition question since NT isn't an official word. To all intents and purposes however it means anyone who isn't in the ASD.

Since BPD aren't in the ASD they are NT.

Is that so? I still like my definition better. Having Dyslexia makes a person an NT, BPD does not make one an NT, in my honest opinion.