Could our Son have Aspergers?NTIZ

My husband and I have only just learned anything about Aspergers Syndrome and feel it really could be the thing that our son, now 25, has had since he was small. Please excuse me if I am using language that offends anyone, I don't mean to, but we are new to it and don't know the correct language.

He has always found it hard to make friends; although he does have some now, most of them are just as 'odd' as he is, in one way or another. He met most of them through Games Workshop and they are all into these strategy games in a big way. Our son talks about the Games Workshop armies as though they are real, and in great length and detail and sometimes, especially when he was younger, we have felt that we needed to tell him it was not real.

He is very articulate and loves reading fantasy and s-f books, again he can quote whole chunks of them verbatim and in great detail.

Although bright, he did not do very well at school, he was always unable to concentrate and preferred to read. He did manage to gain some qualifications after I kept on his back and made him study. He was bullied at junior school because he was 'odd'.

He is not very good at all at organising himself and still needs loads of help with it. He is unable to hold down a job although always keen to please. He always seems to be the one who 'gets it in the neck'. He has had five attempts at passing his driving test and failed every time.

He is a 'loner' and prefers to read, play fantasy games or computer games than go to a bar or night club. He has not had a girlfriend since he was 17. Although he would like one, he never goes anywhere to meet any.

Please, I'm not asking for a diagnosis, but just if anyone feels it may be worth pursuing this path. We've always known he is an 'oddball' who needs loads of help and support. If there could be a name put to his condition, he may be able to have extra help. from the state, in things like employment,

Thanks all.

Seems very possible that he is an aspie.

He is probably using the fantasy world as a substitute to the real one. This is normal as, from what I read in your post, he is not quite successful the way he'd like to be in the 'real' world.

It was only after my (self) diagnosis that I got down to thinking what I could do about my many problems. Until then, I was floating around, very unhappy, depressed and puzzled.

The question is, would he like to be diagnosed? As parents, you can approach him by quoting me in that it has gotten better, albeit slowly, for me and several other aspies I've known, after our diagnosis. So there's one reason but it's no magic pill and it takes years.

I think he would be very happy to find out that there is a reason why he irritates people, can't hold down a job and can't pass his driving test. My husband is going to talk to him about it when we return to England in October. We already support him quite a lot with things like organisisation, we're happy to continue to give him as much help and support as he needs.

Do you know if there is any help he can get if he is diagnosed (I'm talkingfabout things like help with employment from a disability point of view).

Thanks for replying!

I do not know what's available in England, but I'd suspect plenty.

I would strongly recommend you read several books on the topic, though. Since you're the two most significant people around him, and (I'm guessing) spend time with him, you can help plenty.

I am in no way affiliated with the publishers or the writers of these two books, but since this is the third (or fourth) time I'm recommending them, I've put down the disclaimer you've just read.

AS and Long Term Relationships - Ashley Stanford

Shadow Syndromes - John J. Ratey, Catherine Johnson

The first one is not about relationships (only) and has plenty of explanations and examples. It's the best book I've come across on AS for non-aspies and aspies alike.
Shadow Syndromes will give you insight on many forms of mental quirks, some of which you also may possess, and may help identify what other disorders your son might have, as well as AS. For example, I and some other aspies I know have ADD, but I know some who don't. Mild mania, noise, depression are some of the things I need to deal with from time to time.

It is no black or white case, so the more you know, the more you might be able to help him.

Good luck

Why cant you ask him if he thinks he has it rather than talking behind his back by posting stuff about him online. I sure would be furious if my parents did that. For everyone to see..oh no..what shame...