lying and A.S.

Hi, We have a 16 year old son thats been diagnosed with A.S. for about three years now,He always has been a compulsive lier.Anyone else run into this problem with a Aspie kid?

I haven't been diagnosed with A.S. although I think I fit many of the criteria.

Anyway, I'm almost incapable of lying so I'm exactly the opposite. I get so extremely bad conscience by telling a lie so I can hardly do it. I tell the truth even if it hurts other people or if it puts myself into a bad position. This is a bit of a problem for me, for example at job interviews.

yea when i was younger i was a prolific liar, i can't say that it was an asperger's thing, but it seemed like i couldn't stop. i started outgrowing it around 16 and now it's not really an issue. there is hope! :]

If you don't mind sharing, what is it related to? Maybe he is aware of the things he is doing wrong (as is related to the issue of autism and rigid thought) but is too studdorn to admit he is wrong.

Also, there is a good chance of all people with an autism spectrum disorder of developing bipolar disorder (or another serious emotional disorder) as they become more self aware of their problems. I only mentioned bipolar disorder because there have been studies done that link bipolar and compulsive lying beacuse of the extreme impulsive nature of mania. Mind you, I'm not a qualified medical professional, just a guy diagnosed with both Bipolar I Disorder and Asperger's Syndrome and an obsession with mental disorders and neurological disorders .

I lied a lot as a child for several reasons. One reason was that I was always getting in trouble for not doing things right even though I was trying but couldn't figure out all the rules of society so I lied to avoid getting in trouble even more for things I did do. Another reason was that it was only after I was getting asked if I did 'such-and-such' did I learn such-and-such was wrong so I figured I didn't deserve to get in trouble for something I didn't know was wrong but if I tried explaining that they wouldn't believe me. Another reason was to get the attention of others--if I told an interesting story or exaggerated the truth they would pay attention to me.

I've lied a great bunch of times, but only to cover my odd behaviour. Like 'sure, I have tons of friends' or 'I like to go to parties just to have a good time', while I actually didn't.

Only in that way I can imagine that lying is connected to having asperger traits.

Although I do not for sure have A.S., I would lie for the reasons similar to the others posted above. To either avoid being in trouble, or to avoid feeling like a freak. I always use to wish that I could,at will, conjure up some extraordinary event so I could point and yell "Look! Over there!" Instead I would just lie, if appropriate.

I often find myself talking to someone I've just met online, and one of the first questions they ask me is, "what do you do?" are you in education, or do you have a job...

And of course, I'm not doing either, I often get quite embarrassed and find myself trying to change the subject. Most of the time I'll just say something like, "Right now I'm just trying to figure out what to do with my life."

But I find myself thinking, if I'm never going to met these people, would it really be so bad to lie? Just to say I'm a student, or working, would that be so bad? I'm not someone who's stuck up on morals but lying about who I am just seems a bit odd to me.

So I was wondering how you guys feel on the matter, or have any of you ever lied over the internet about who you are or what you do?

Sometimes its harder than it seems to keep up an internet lie. Once I was considering lying but decided to be truthful and it turns out they were friends with my best friend. good thing I didnt lie.

But most of the time people won't find out. The tough part is when in the future you realize that theyre a good e-friend and you were lying to them from the start.

I dont lie on the internet. I dont really lie actually. I only lie to authority figures, in person.

I've told a great many lies on the internet. It's not at all difficult.

Of course there's problems that come with telling lies anywhere. For example, if you decide to tell people you're a student, you need to be ready for questions about what you're studying, where you study, and so forth. There's the chance the other person might be a student of the same thing, and expect you to display knowledge you don't have.

Also, once you start fabricating things they have to stay "true". You can't reinvent your persona at whim without risking exposure.


What I've found to be far more useful is to tell the truth but do so in such a way as to allow others to jump to incorrect conclusions. For example, when people ask me what I do, I tell them that I'm a writer. I actually am a writer - it's something I've been paid to do for several years in fact. But I don't say "author" because I haven't written a novel that's been published. Most people simply assume that I write books (which I do, but not professionally - yet).

But if people assume that I'm more successful than I am, I don't usually bother to correct them. I usually say nothing more than I'm a writer, perhaps of the "starving artist variety" as a form of self-deprecation. (And also to discourage people from trying to find my work.) For the most part, I don't want online fame because this is where I can come to be faceless.


On the other hand, if you want to fabricate a story wholesale I don't see anything wrong with that. No sane person assumes everyone on the internet tells the whole truth all the time and as long as you don't abuse the false persona (like pretending to be a lawyer and giving legal advice) it really isn't a problem. I'd just suggest creating a new "person" and keeping notes written down somewhere about who this person is so you don't get mixed up. It can be a useful method for trying on different personalities in an effort to determine what works best for you.