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Coping with indecisiveness

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Coping with indecisiveness

Postby Guest » Sun Jul 03, 2005 9:19 pm

Hello gang. I have never been perscribed to any sorts of medications, nor mental therapy, and I often find myself indicisive at a riducluous amount of time. This makes me become a very disorganized individual with messy hair and too much on the brain (not that sexy messy hair is a BAd thing).

How are you supposed to make decisions about things you

A) Do not care about

B)Do not have enough information in order to execute the RIGHT decision

C)ahhhhhhhhrgghh!??

D) When you make a decision someone will be there to question it and you have to start up the thought process again

E) Your voice is too soft so you are afraid youll have to repeat it, explain it, etc...

Dang, I dont know

So, I am inquiring about in my world, without meds, how should I make up my mind faster? How Do I?
or even make up my mind without have to sit on the floor or crawl and scream?
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Postby Guest » Sun Jul 10, 2005 6:11 pm

Please...anyone?
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Postby Spektyr » Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:42 pm

Here's how I tend to make my decisions:

Step 1: Must decision be made now? If not, and answer is not clear, delay. If yes, continue.

Step 2: If insufficient data exists for an informed decision, go with "gut-response". If gut is no help, continue.

Step 3: Examine available options and look for the one that retains the largest number of options in the future. Select this option. If all options equal, continue.

Step 4: Flip a coin (or employ other random element). If outcome is unfavorable, chose the other option (because since you didn't like the outcome you now realize you actually preferred the other option).


It's not the most aggressive or pro-active decision-making system around, but it almost always results in a decision being made.
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Postby constructor » Wed Jul 13, 2005 1:17 am

I would not focus on making up my mind faster.

I'd focus on making up my mind and being satisfied with the choice.

Once you get the process down, you then can speed it up.
Hastening the process before you've got it down will only result in poor choices and regrets.

a) you don't care about them.
Ask yourself what you want to do. Do you want to be thinking about it or not? Do you WANT TO (not have to, should etc.) make a decision.
If not, do not think about it. Ever.
If you keep thinking about it, it means you want to make a decision and are afraid you might pick the wrong outcome and therefore are justifying putting it off by saying to yourself that you do not care.
If you genuinely do not care, you don't think about it, period.

b) not enough info
Obtain the darned info. Get your butt off of where it is and learn.
Again, ask yourself: Do you WANT TO make this decision. If yes, learn. If no, stop thinking about it.
If you are thinking about it, you want to make a decision but are afraid etc...

d) If someone questions it and you have doubts, that means you were never sure in the first place; means you never made a case.
SLOW DOWN and make up your mind.

e) forget your voice, and forget having to justify yourself to others.

Never explain. Your friends don't need it and your enemies will not listen, anyway.

Your decisions are yours. You are not Winston Curchill answering for Coventry. If people are constantly questioning you, tell them you do not having to explain yourself and that they should trust you.
Ask yourself if you're the one putting yourself in a position to be questioned, because you're not sure of yourself in the first place.

No meds for decision making. They will be more harmful than helpful on the long run.

Again, make decisions slowly and surely. Do not rush through it. This is one lesson you can carry over to pretty much everything in life.

If you need help, put it in words. Language activates regions in the brain that help put things in perspective. Write a detailed account of what you have to decide on, what the issues and consequences are, etc. Do not make a list. Write a short essay.

Edit: I'm wondering why I took the time to write in such detail as I do not know if you'll heed the advice. I hope I haven't wasted my time and that you won't just read this and say, 'yea, I know that'.
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Re: Coping with indecisiveness

Postby Rainbowgirlfan1 » Sat Dec 16, 2017 12:20 am

I have a lot of trouble making decisions too. I'm very indecisive.
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Re: Coping with indecisiveness

Postby FredNugent » Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:49 pm

What I do is list the pros and cons in 2 columns on a piece of paper.
Then I read through it and ask myself which one I would "actually like to do".
9 out of 10 times this is the right answer for me in the long run.
I end up doing the things I want and letting go of things I don't. Give it a try next time.
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Re: Coping with indecisiveness

Postby serpand » Wed Jan 03, 2018 11:11 pm

Every decision you make may not have the intended result since you cannot know everything. If something bad comes of it, you learn and improve your next decision.

If you ask for advice, beware that people strongly tend to tell you what is best for them and not you, and disguise it, even unconsciously. I mean they may justify their choice with a generally accepted argument instead of the real reason that motivates them.
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Re: Coping with indecisiveness

Postby alexon » Fri Mar 02, 2018 1:21 am

Hi,

In the book, by dale carnegie, called "stop worrying and start living" he describes a system he uses to help him make some decisions.

Some decisions can have a monetary cost applied to them. E.g. Should I walk through the rain or get a taxi is an example he used.

If the cost of the difference is less than say $5 then he will get the taxi.

He says the decision is not worth more than $5 so he didn't think about saving the $5 and just spends it.

You can put your own prices on things, and I've found it useful for simplifying some decisions.


Unfortunately the monetary value is overused by me. My psychologist encourages me to think not of the monetary cost, but the mental cost in choosing between two options.

I find it very difficult to do, and often spend dozens of hours researching options, as I would rather have nothing and do without, rather than buying the 2nd best option.

I recognise it is a tremendous waste of mental energy, but it is difficult for me to consider mental energy.

E.g. I have been regularly trying to decide for 29 years whether or not to use a lense cloth that I bought in 1988, to clean my spectacles, and it is still never been out of the packet. (I think bit would get dirty quickly and scratch my lenses) whereas my optician says the paper towels I use will scratch it more.

My psychologist also informed me that The entymology (history) of the word "decision" , comes from roman or Greek, and derives from "death of other choices", and so by making a decision, we may be scared / not wanting to kill other choices.

His observation was made when I told him I had bought a very small fire safe to protect some of my documents or photographs in case my house went on fire.

I had it for more than 17 years without putting anything in it. I had many things and the safe would protect only a small portion of them. I could not decide what would be the best items to put in it, so I left it empty and useless .

Best of luck :)
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