Worst thing about being an aspy?

What do you hate most about being a aspy? For me I think the worst thing is my lack of interest in the psychical world , The lack of connection I have with people and society. I Just feel like iam not good enough, I feel like it doesnt really matter what I have to say I hate how I cant talk well around other people, I want to say things sometimes but theres something in me that stops me, And I question myself.... Is that a good thing to say? Is that gona sound weird? Thats where alchohol helps me, Well I feel it helps me since I lose that anxiety and I can just freely talk, The alchohol on the other hand tends to get me into fist fights, and makes me even more angry at the world.

I hate how I cant talk well and confident outside of my house.

Trying to get a word in with a group I talk over people or it seems people dont even care , They dont ask 'well what did you say?

The complete disconnection I have with this world I think its the root of my clinical depression. Bascialy feels like I dont belong here. Im sure of heard aspys say the same thing. Its night time here I just feel like talking, I dont have any friends in real life, I guess I feel lonely. Ive broken up with my gf after 2 years. about 6 months ago

Now im stuck without a sex drive. Bad social skills. Its just hard to get a good feeling and reward feeling from this world. I have very resitrictive interests you could say are 'odd'

I Donno, Iam really not enjoying my stay on earth to much.. Its more of a I goto do it kind of thing.

It seems you are in a bit of a dump. What i don't understand why you persist in regretting what you have not, in mourning over the inevitable.

Live is as it is. It's neutral. It's your mind that gives it the color. Why color it black?

To me the worst thing about being an aspie is sleepdisorder. I can live with that. Sex is a vastly overrated instinct to reproduce. I'm as pleased as punch i control it and not the other way around.

Remember, it's a developmental thing. Granted when young its hard, but once you are past that it gets better and better. Really. Just hang in there and suffer through the growing up stage which is somewhat longer then with non-aspies. It's worth it.

I'd say the feeling of not knowing what I am supposed to say. It used to plague me awfully, and I'd just keep my mouth shut to avoid saying the wrong thing.

However my anxiety is now well controlled, so it doesn't bother me as much anymore.

Andrew

petrossa wrote:It seems you are in a bit of a dump. What i don't understand why you persist in regretting what you have not, in mourning over the inevitable.

Live is as it is. It's neutral. It's your mind that gives it the color. Why color it black?

To me the worst thing about being an aspie is sleepdisorder. I can live with that. Sex is a vastly overrated instinct to reproduce. I'm as pleased as punch i control it and not the other way around.

Remember, it's a developmental thing. Granted when young its hard, but once you are past that it gets better and better. Really. Just hang in there and suffer through the growing up stage which is somewhat longer then with non-aspies. It's worth it.

I agree,most of us with AS have to start from the bottom,socially and work our way up.Through life experience and awareness we slowly acquire the skills we need to overcome obstacles.In my opinion once we learn the minimal social graces we need, we can combine them with the unique advantages being an aspy provides.Give it time .

insurgent, i feel the same way as you do. am glad someone else feels like that. how i explain all of my inabilities is that i feel like i live in a glass cage. i can see clearly what every one is doing around me and everyone can see me clearly, but the glass is like a barrier that we can not touch each other emotionally. like a starving person in front of a glass enclosure with lots of food in it where there is no way to get to the food.

There are LOTS of things I intensely hate with AS.
For example being judged by other people. Not living up to the expectations of age like being "naive and childish" even though I dont agree anymore.

Haing poor empathy and just simply cant take other peoples perspectives, dont understand humor, sarcasm and irony all the time. Perhaps easily deceived, not unusual in aspies.

Just being totally different and not mainstream at all. Depression, low selfimage/selfconfidence, a little weak mentally. Not stupid, but just you know maybe a little "unmandy" or just unconfident. Dont strong enough to stand up for myself.

Being to little assertive and give in to peoples opinions and ignoring my own. Thats very annoying to me.

and many many other more things. But I seen big improvement anyway and I hope it continues....


I see some good things although:
Im often a little more independent and less mainstream (by the way I hate mainstream), being weird and just pure original. I think some of my talents could be related to AS and some of tyhose talents arent so small I think after all.


I dont think of AS as so very bad really. I did maybe a month or two, but then i accepted it and realized Im gonna just work to improve...
BUT I dont ever ever ever ever ever fu**ing ever need to be a "people person" like most do.

I can jsut be a "nerdy, original, professor-like, analytical and abstract guy" who specualte on theories, maybe try to sell som theories to aspies etc etc

I just nerd the whole life and give a s**t what other think of me. Why should I care? I TRY to be social, but its still hard for me. I wont take any any any any any blame for anything cause Im just BORNED this way never ever wanted or choosed it. Now I just choose to try deal with and then I should be happy and sattisfied without any regrets, blames, failures etc etc

I never ever choosed any of it, I just choose how and to at all deal with it and Im gonna do so.
My self-respect is therefore earned, I dont need any unfair shame, guilt or blames at all. They can all go to he** and burn up to ashes.



I like the way I am actually, at least in some aspects. For example Im nerdy, like to use my inttellect etc etc and thats just very good I think. All the Aspie-stuff problems I dont worry so much about cause I didnt choose any of it, so why take ANY blame for anything???
Why are parents taken away teh blame when they hear that their kid is just an Aspie?


THEN WHY should any Aspies THEMSELVES take any blame for anything they were borned with????!!!
Just deal with it and reasonably have a good self-image.

Thats just simply fair.

...worst thing is feeling as if I am from a different planet and being treated as such...

I agree with the previous post -
and just the fact that the world is flooded with NT's, who can be boring, irritating, and many of them don't understand me and don't really care to try and know me better.

mvic wrote:I agree with the previous post -
and just the fact that the world is flooded with NT's, who can be boring, irritating, and many of them don't understand me and don't really care to try and know me better.

Totally agreed. I have ven gone so far that I really consider ignoring and exclude people who dont understand, cause its quite distressing and frustrating and nobnody really benefit of it anyway so why bother with ignorant and non-understanding people?

I have two friends where the first I had since I was maybe 10-11 and the other since I was maybe 17-18.
They never ever seem to understand that I have ADHD, they just laugh up in my face and they also teased me with.

Doesnt matter anymore, they will regret they understand anything at all about adhd and AS. They think it is more of a character problem and therefore my two friends suddenly becomes something more close to two enemies almost. Theyre not hostile, but its an evil in itself when people are ignorant and never accpept your problems, that you have adhd.

Its not that they must understand everything, I jsut want them to accept I have adhd for example.


But anyway I dont consider the first one to be really good friend anymore and I also consider both you know too conventional and boring and they dont seem much open-minded about new ideas etc etc

So therefore I might even exclude my two best friends, even though teh first isnt so best or good anymore, but the second is more good.


AS means you gotta struggle with people and that sucks HUGE time.

Most of all I hate these tree things: 1) that I am always left to guess, what kind of a relationship I have with a person, like "is he/her just someone acquaintance, or a friend, or a good friend", and never know what I can and what I can not do with him/her. I couldn`t even describe my relationship with my mother. Who likes me? Who hates me? I dont know..; 2) I hate closeness and intimacy, these kind of acts makes me feel like being raped, so for that reason all I can get is love through distance. It sucks. I dream and dream and dream.., and when I get it in real life - its disgusting; 3) Obsessive compulsive disorder, that is destroying my life.