Are Friends Worth It?

Hello. I was diagnosed with Asperger's ever since I was a baby. I never really had any friends in my life, maybe one or two but not much more than that at a time. I travel a lot, so friendships never last long, if I have any. There are hardly any people who share my "narrow interests," That of which includes Role-Playing.

But now in my current school, I met a guy who has all of my interests, and we became fast friends, drawing amazing pictures together (We're both the best artists in the school). However, lately we haven't talked for a while. I always had something against him, as he gets tons of attention becasue he has dangerous levels of charisma. By dangerous I mean he gets more attention that he deserves, and even more than he can handle. When we draw together, People only pay attention to him, even though I'm sitting right next to him drawing just as good as he does. I've been rather jealous lately, which is something I rarely do. I actually broke the friendship off when he was talking to me and as soon as a girl he described as "Pretty" walked right past him, he totally cut off our conversation without a word and went off with her to do "Small talk." We met up and became friends again, but because he is being a bit of a jerk to me latetly like ignoring me and over critizising my work, I'm about to break it off again, because anymore and I'll be thrown into Chronic Depression. (Even when I over-critizised him he called it "Being an ass" and that really made me mad.)

So Is this simply because I never really had a true friend or want one? BTW this guy isn't a jerk, he's pure at heart and is a nice guy, just not around me. I'm also being ripped on by many people who are merely people I know for not being into girls. I went through puberty and everything, but I am not into anything sexual. I have no desire to spend my life with a womam people would describe as attractive. I've actually been called gay, but I just blew them off.

I never really saw any need for human companionship, or a significant other. I love being alone and I feel extremely uncomfortable with more than 5 people (School is a nightmare) So Are friends really worth breaking your back over like everyone says? I've had multiple friends before this one, and they were all just mere tools and acquaintances to me. I really thought this guy could be a true friend, but has my cynicism proven otherwise? Should I break the friendship for good, even though he cried the first time I did while I felt nothing, staring at him and telling him I didn't know why he made such a big deal out of it all? I really need some help here.

if I feel nothing when in a relationship of any kind, is it all worth it?

In general things a worth something if on balance they add something positive to your life. If you feel that it doesn't, well let it go. Recluse people are everywhere, it's no problem as long as you are fine with ti.

I once read that a social aspie is much happier than one who is not social.
I have to agree because when one of my friends who is girl is happy to see me. I don't feel depressed and feel welcomed.

Never having had a "true" friend before, I think you were a little overwhelmed by what was expected of you.

Yes, you have to accomodate their ideosyncracies, too. He is overly charismatic and garners a lot of attention. He is friendly and agues it on...yes, it is contrary to your disposition and you find it annoying.

Okay, I can see where you guys (?) are dissimilar, BUT you also wrote that you had A LOT of commonalities, as well.

Learning how to keep a friend may be the most difficult thing you do, but it is a skill you can learn. If you are interested in doing so, look at this as step one: putting up with annoying traits...AS people aren't the only ones who have them.

I think if you guys are good together most of the time, then you should attempt to be more tolerent of those few traits that bother you...chalk it up to, "That's just the way it is!"

Acknowledge your jealousy about the attention he gets (you already have, really) and maybe...just maybe, you could follow his lead a little and try to gain a little more attention and respect for your own work, too.

People are friends for a variety of reasons, now that you know you actually like him and like spending time with him, I don't think it would be disengenous to learn from him and see him as a "vehicle" (as you put it) to take you futher down the road that you would like to go.

I'd say you should have a couple friends, and hang out with them every once and a while. At least, that's best for me.
Too much social interaction overwhelms me.
Too little leaves me depressed.
It's a delicate balance.