Brief introduction...

Hello, the name is Benjamin and I am 26

I'm not really sure where to start; for a few weeks I have been doing a bit of research to figure out what is wrong with me and why I act the way I do. After several of those 'unofficial online tests' the term AS has popped up and for the most part pretty much sums up my actions and how I am percieved by others. Lately it has become such a problem I purposely avoid interaction with others in fear of saying something stupid because I may completely lose my train of thought upon approaching someone to conversate or continuously interrupt with some random thought and keep appologizing for it because it is hard for me to determine when someone pauses because they are finished speaking or to take a breath. I know its pathetic but I really have no friends and one or two I may consider as such I cannot relate to. Work is especially hard because I am forced to interact with my fellow coworkers and I find them extremely overwelming, overly boisterous, intolerant and generally mean-spirited. Dispite my best efforts to get along with them; thankfully my boss lets me carry my ipod to work (I am a refrigeration tech and while not 100% truthful I told him I need it to drown out the sound of the noisy compressors when I really wanted it to drown out and avoid my coworkers) I know it sounds bad but I dont know how else I couldve handled the situation. I am told that I am either to serious or I smile too much for no reason which I find kind of embarassing; I could be minding my business and some random, insignificant thought pops into mind and then I just cant contain myself from smiling. I suppose this is one of many reasons people think I am crazy which up until now I also thought. I dont know what it is but despite my best efforts of 'trying fo fit in' its just not happening; I think Im a fairly nice and easy guy to get along with. I am afraid of getting an official diagnosis because it may ruin the chance of me getting my private pilots license, and without flying I have nothing. My anxiety and sometimes depression feels off the charts like my heart is going to rip out of my chest and I dont know how to control it. When this happens (and it happens sometimes for the most trivial issue) all I can do is pace around for hours till I wear myself out.

Anyways Ive finally decided to join after major apprehension because I think in the long run it may help me to understand myself better, get feedback from like-minded individuals and perhaps make an online friend or two... thanks.

Why would a diagnosis prevent you from obtaining a pilot's liscence?

My dad (most likely) has AS and got his Pilot's license. And he's a damn good pilot when he has time. (Workaholic)

BlackMask wrote:Why would a diagnosis prevent you from obtaining a pilot's liscence?

The FAA is pretty strict reguarding certain medical conditions and due to what I have read but mostly my ignorance on the particular subject I am just not willing at this time to get an official diagnosis. I already have a restriction on my medical certificate which does not allow me to fly at night and by color signal control because I have a fairly common color defficency with red and green (incorrectly known as color blindness). I cant tell you the trouble I am going through just to get this restriction removed...

TNSe wrote:My dad (most likely) has AS and got his Pilot's license. And he's a damn good pilot when he has time. (Workaholic)

...I definately do not doubt that; from the little Ive learned about AS one can do extremely well if it is one of their 'obsessions'. Purely out of curiosity has he been diagnosed with AS? Though Im guessing not since youve said 'most likely'?

He's not diagnosed, but my brother and sister both got it along with me so it must be him

TNSe wrote:He's not diagnosed, but my brother and sister both got it along with me so it must be him

I too suspect my father to be the root of whatever disorder I have. I know when he was younger he had some issues but no one wants to nor cares to elaborate on the matter. Its frustrating to think youve lived with someone for 16+ years and realize you really dont know anything about them...

My father too. Strongly AS. Never had friends (still hasn't), hates company for more then 15 minutes, is as literal as a robot, didn't go to the burial of his wife because he was on holiday and didn't see the point, has a mind like a razor. Became millionaire at early age, retired when he was 50 and now lives a secluded life with his second wife in one or the other of his homes.

We agree almost on everything.