Anxious about other people's opinions of self

Hello,
I suspect that I have Ausperger's. I won't go into details why, but I have read the symptoms and they apply to me. For example, I have poor social skills, don't know how to act in a conversation, etc. But I have one question. Despite the fact that I for example dislike going to parties, I still don't want to be seen by other people as not being sociable. Also, I sometimes just stand around with groups of people to kind of looked involved in order to not look like a loner. Do people diagnosed with Asperger's also behave/think like that, or do they simply not care what other people think?

Hi and welcome Nurtfus.

Those with AS can have as wide array of responses to parties as any person. Some can be totally wild and not care (a lot rarer though!), but many often feel uncomfortable and tense. Whether you feel guilty or a similar feeling to not being able to talk with others depends on how aware you are of social norms and relational skills. I have not been to any parties, other than some start of year uni welcome "gatherings" that were INCREDIBLY awkward. I felt that I did not fit in or feel confident in talkin with people. However, I have developed a coping mechanism over the years of a sort of internal retreat into my mind and mull over a thought that has took my fancy recently and think over that. Thus, what other people think gets replaced by my own thoughts on a point of interest.

That wasn't exactly what I was asking about. I mean, for example, I don't dance at a party because I don't want to (I dislike going to parties at all, but sometimes I have to). However, I do care what my peers think of me, so I try to pretend to do something else, or wobble around awkwardly. Another example: I want to read a book when I am on the train with my peers (going on an outing for example), but I don't because they will think I am odd. Do people diagnosed with aspergers actually care what other people think about them? Or would a person diagnosed with aspergers just take out a book and read despite the fact that everyone would laugh or gossip about them.

Summarizing, I do care what other people think about me, and therefore might alter my behaviour to a more "normal/accepted" one. Is that what people with aspergers do?

I'm fairly sure that everyone, at the very least the majority of 20-somethings, are concerned about what other people think of them.

I'm often pretty worried about whether I seem weird or abnormal in some way. I believe this is fairly normal for anyone, AS or otherwise. Especially if you want to make friends or have relationships with people. However, we have to remember that no one is perfectly normal. Normal is a very inspecific idea. Everyone has different conceptions of what "normal" is and what it looks like.

I think older people, and especially older Aspies, come to a place where they simply don't care about what other people think or say (since they're going to say/think it regardless) and just do what makes them happy/comfortable. Probably a good way to be. Plus, self-confidence/not caring what people think tends to be attractive to others (provided you're not being a total douche about it).

But I do care what others think about me. I mean, it does for example bother me if people talk behind my back, or say that I am strange, etc.; and I was wondering whether people with Aspergers do care or whether they just shrug it off.

You could take a poll but speaking for myself, I care.

However, as I have become older I care a lot less.

(from my understanding it is SPD that is indifferent to people's opinions not Aspergers)

When Im at my most confident no but probably just because I dont even think about it/them, let alone dwell on it. I exist mostly in my own head most of the time. I'd be lying if I said never though - its just rare that I make a conscious thought about what others may think of me and depends on my superiority/inferiority swingometer that I have no apparent control over. Also, my train of thought on this recently, has been that perhaps its not really other peoples' opinions im bothered about, its more my own perceived 'weakness' and inability to take part on the same level that it stems from. If i was wanting to read a book like in your example I've started questioning whether I truly want to read that book or if its just easier to read the book than do the alternative/s. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else. I haven't come to a conclusion myself yet either.

I used to care a lot more when I was younger, especially around 16-21. But at university there was a conflict in me, I was angry that I cared what others thought so I treated some people badly, not really intending to hurt them though.
I also suffer psychotic paranoid episodes, so this is related to caring what others think. Being suspicious and wondering whether people are laughing at me etc.
But, as topaz says, I think the anxiety decreases with age.