I have asperger's but I don't know what to do about it.

Hello, I've never posted here before but I think this may be one of the few places where I can have a few of my questions answered. I am a male, 21 years of age. I have read a lot about asperger's syndrome, and I feel it is this condition that perfectly describes me. In my life I feel utterly and completely alone, and have never understood why. Growing up I always felt "different," though I never really had problems making friends at school. However as I became more adolescent, the social implications were amplified. I became more and more anti-social. During high school I only had 1 real friend.. and during my entire life I have never had a girlfriend. I am not ugly or dumb, I just don't like to talk to people. I made straight A's throughout my schooling, and I graduated highschool valedictorian without effort. I went on to college, and completed two years on a bachelor's in computer science, but ultimately failed because my obession kept interfering with my coursework. My obsession is with video games. I have been playing them my entire life, since before I can remember.. at least before the age of 5. Video games are pretty addicting things all by themselves, but coupled with what I have it just seems crazy. I will stay up entire nights studying ways to be good at a game.. researching it. I spend countless more hours playing games. Its pretty rediculous if you think about it, but its not like I have any friends or a social life to worry about. But basically I'm posting on this forum because I feel my life is in a deadend that I can't get out of. Right now I am not going to school anymore because I can't afford it. I work a dead end job, and everyday when I come home I play games. Thats it. No friends (except for the ones I make online), no life, no anything. The bad thing isn't that I don't have any friends, because I enjoy being alone. During highschool my parents genuinely thought I was crazy because I would do nothing but stay in my room all day. They just don't understand.. its not that I'm crazy, the problem is I'm a genius. Now that I'm not going to college anymore it seems that my life has lost a great sense of purpose. I used to compare myself to great geniuses like Mozart and Einstein, but now I am a nobody. I will never have a girlfriend. I will never have any friends. I don't believe in God. What do I do with my life? Should I just keep playing games? Is the way I live my life normal for a person with asperger's? People have told me before that I just need to get out and meet people, but they don't understand that that quite simply isn't an option. Sometimes I wonder if I even have it at all.. because my condition is somewhat a little different than a normal aspie.. for instance I never remember having social problems as a child. It's like it started later, during the adolescent period. Also, I don't have any of the normal physical traits associated with the condion, such as sensitivity to light or sound. However, I definately have a problem. My whole life I have Never met anyone like me, or anyone who understands why I am the way I am. Ever. Its bewildering. Sorry to dump my life story on this forum, as complicated as it may or may not be, but honestly I feel I need some real advice or suggestions, and this is probably the only way I'll ever get any. And no I do not have depression!

I'm an 18 yr old male who also has aspergers and i can tell you that even if it seemed that your disorder seemed to have started in your adolecense its not uncommon. Since people with A.S. basically develope slower in segments of the brain devoted to the comprehension body language and human socal structure and as it is planly obviouse for yourself, faster in the analytical part of your brain such as route memory and absrtact understanding. So in a way while others grow socially you strugle to keep up but develope faster in your academic life than most others. This is one of the reasons it is called the 'Geek Syndrome' because we resemble the hollywood stereotype of a geek that is prodominate in many movies. Anyway like you i found it easyer to make friends when i was younger and over time it became exceedinly difficult. Luckly my parents found i was weird at a young age so they put me through therapy, fist diagnosed with Autism (funny, they were close first try) then ADD, OCD, bipolar, anything they could think of till they finaly found an artical on Aspergers so they were able to treat me for Aspergers insted of something like ADD. Its sad. They have done many studies on aspergers but it wasent until the mid 1990's until it gained recongition so many people havent got the treatment they need to help them in life. Anyway look into some health care opitions that will help pay for therapy so you can funtion better in a group. Also about your obsesion with video games, tone it down a little bit but use this intrest to your advantange. Since you went to college for computer sciences, why dont you take courses in game design and interacticve media. Also there are jobs that pay your to play and test video games so that is worth looking into as well. I myself love video games and I'm applying to college for game design and interactive media. Full Sail college in Florida is one of the best colleges for that but personaly i would suggest to go to a college with dormitorys so you can 'practise' living and interacting with other people so you dont have to go out to do that. Half the time back in private school i just sat there looking at people talking and trying to relearn what pose, face or tone of voice meant. So just get some therapy and challenge yourself socially and if you can, go to college to do something you throughly enjoy.

oh. By the way. My spelling and grammer sucks. Sorry! ^_^

A little advice: it is extremely difficult for the human eye to follow writing when it is all buried in one enormous block. It needs to be divided up whenever the basic idea behind the words changes.

Just leave a blank space like I just did and continue on. It doesn't have to be a complete change of topic, simply a small alteration in the course of the dialogue. The effect is that it makes the text look much more inviting and much less like a speed-talking deluge of information.


The main reason that this is important is that when you're asking advice you need people to be willing to listen to your questions. On the Internet there is virtually limitless content for people to look at, so the tendency is to simply ignore and skip over anything that isn't readily accessible. And to be perfectly honest, I haven't read either of the two large paragraphs above. I've read bits and pieces of them, but it is very difficult to get a concrete idea of what they're about without any visual division of the sentences.

Don't feel bad about this, though. It's not an Asperger's thing. Many people have the tendency to just start typing and not pause or stop until they're done. You just need to organize the sentences a little bit so the information is accessible to the rest of us. A person can't eat a whole cow at once, it has to be cut up into manageable bits.

Thats very true. I was just in between classes at the time and quickly typing this out so it didnt occure to me to space it out. Hope this is easyer to read and sorry about the spelling and grammer. ^_^

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I'm an 18 yr old male who also has aspergers and i can tell you that even if it seemed that your disorder seemed to have started in your adolecense its not uncommon.

Since people with A.S. basically develope slower in segments of the brain devoted to the comprehension body language and human socal structure and as it is planly obviouse for yourself, faster in the analytical part of your brain such as route memory and absrtact thinking. So in a way while others grow socially you strugle to keep up but develope faster in your academic life than most others.

This is one of the reasons it is called the 'Geek Syndrome' because we resemble the hollywood stereotype of a geek that is prodominate in many movies.

Anyway like you i found it easyer to make friends when i was younger and over time it became exceedinly difficult. Luckly my parents found i was weird at a young age so they put me through therapy, fist diagnosed with Autism (funny, they were close first try) then ADD, OCD, bipolar, anything they could think of till they finaly found an artical on Aspergers so they were able to treat me for Aspergers insted of something like ADD.

Its sad. They have done many studies on aspergers but it wasent until the mid 1990's until it gained recongition so many people havent got the treatment they need to help them in life.

Anyway look into some health care opitions that will help pay for therapy so you can funtion better in a group. Also about your obsesion with video games, tone it down a little bit but use this intrest to your advantange. Since you went to college for computer sciences, why dont you take courses in game design and interacticve media. Also there are jobs that pay your to play and test video games so that is worth looking into as well.

I myself love video games and I'm applying to college for game design and interactive media. Full Sail college in Florida is one of the best colleges for that but personaly i would suggest to go to a college with dormitorys so you can 'practise' living and interacting with other people so you dont have to go out to do that. Half the time back in private school i just sat there looking at people talking and trying to relearn what pose, face or tone of voice meant. So just get some therapy and challenge yourself socially and if you can, go to college to do something you throughly enjoy.


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sheesh! This is long.

I feel exactly the same way.

Oops, I clicked submit too soon.

Just wanted to say to the dude who started this thread: you aren't alone in how you feel, I am un-dx but feel sure I am Aspergers because I fit so much of the description even though for me it also didn't really become apparent until high school.

I have always been a bit unusual but not meaning to, I just come accross 'different' from other people and I find social interaction a real stress - I CAN do it because I force myself but whenever possible I want to be alone and not dealing with human beings I have never had a partner and never see myself being in a long term relationship, the best it gets is chatting online to people because then it doesn't feel so hard.
I wish I had some friends but I really can't handle it.

People always like me and want to be my friend but after seeing them like once, I am bored and don't want the hassle of having to maintain a friendship but this does also make me lonely :

I don't really know what I will do in life either as I am bright and good looking and people see all this potential in me but its somehow wasted on me because Aspergers or whatever it is is making me just close myself off from everything...

Don't worry, Exidon, you aren't alone. All during my life, especially when I first started at the school I'm at right now, I've always known I was different. I've only had a few close friends throughout the past few years.

It's actually kind of relieving that there's a place where we can chat about it. For me, it's extremely difficult to talk face to face with people, but over AIM or on the computer, it doesn't seem so bad. Does anyone else feel like people don't understand them?

Ashley, I also feel the same way. My parents tell me I'm good looking. No, not just my parents. A lot of my teachers told me that. A news anchor and her daughter, who I both met, told me that I was "very" good looking. And yet, I never believed it. I thought that "if I was actually good looking, I would have girls swooning to the right and left of me". (That statement I just made is more of a 2005 teen male NT misinterpretation of female behavior, than an AS misconception.) But you get the idea.

Ashley, you can't attribute Asperger's to your problems. Almost every person on this forum has said that "Asperger's" itself doesn't limit your potential. What limits a person with AS's potential is their negative perception of Asperger's. (An example of this would be my forum "AS Actor-How Embarrasing Can You Get?...Check it out and respond when you have a chance)

Anyway, I know you can relate to The Valedictorian (he could benefit from reading this) but don't make the same mistakes he made. He is living proof that if you don't deal with the problems in your life, whether they pertain to social interaction, or anything else, they are going to overtake your life and undermine your potential. He is an example of how being 100% successful in high school can lead to total failure in the real world? Why? Because he probably wasn't used to failing in any field or situation.

When he failed, it probably upset him (I could imagine) so much that he immersed himself in video games (a field in which it would be impossible for him not to succeed), and acted as though he had never been a high school valedictorian. If he had been more aware of AS, and if he had accepted the notion that "no hero is without flaws and no villian is without virtues", things would have been different for him.

Ashley, you and the Valedictorian are aware of your problems. You need to not only learn from both your flaws but you both need to use the knowledge of your flaws to build your strengths.

Exidon, I'm sorry I called you the valedictorian. Your are very bright. Just by reading your post, I can tell that you can accomplish a lot. You can't let Asperger's or anything else keep you from doing this.