Officially an Aspie... what to do...

I thought the diagnosis would make everything clear and people would better understand my thinking/behaviours.

You get the sceptics and all knowing if you do not have significant autistic traits or Einstein's IQ. Some are Health professionals including the general community. Be enthusiastic here at the forum and exchange of thoughts is helpful. In the real world be guarded of disclosing sensative information.

If you had sufficient funds I would recommend a suitable qualified psychologist in Autism spectrum Disorders for social skills and CBT therapy to relieve stress from negative experiences.

"totally_owned wrote:
I also find other peoples' lack of intelligence very frustrating ... ... Maybe it is just me but I can get extremely angry. It is usually the result of people being stupid and it can just set me off. The other day I was waiting in line at the drug store and this woman and the cashier were trying to figure out how to do the change and it was taking forever".

People in general canbe frustrating whether they are intelligent or lack thereof. I believe we can all relate to you're experience at the drug store and personally this frustration caused me trouble. Through therapy I was taught coping techniques and to look at the problem. Annalyse it with you're inteligence to see how pointless becoming frustrating and angry was a solution to solving the problem.

Chucky wrote:

totally_owned wrote:I also find other peoples' lack of intelligence very frustrating ... ... Maybe it is just me but I can get extremely angry. It is usually the result of people being stupid and it can just set me off. The other day I was waiting in line at the drug store and this woman and the cashier were trying to figure out how to do the change and it was taking forever.

If you recognise right now that incompetence and ignorance permeates society, then I think you'll cope better. I don't mind ignorance too much, because people simply do'nt have time to learn everything they know about different things (and they instead form their own opinions without any prior knowledge and then stick with them). Incompetence is just something you have to expect too. It's everywhere you look. If you recognise this, I'm sure you'll be less angry, and could maybe smile it off the next time.

As I am sure is abundantly clear by now, I am very intolerant of failure and weakness especially when it is in myself. There is nothing worse to me than failure and any result that doesn't live up to my extraordinary expectations is failure. Weakness must be eradicated and when I cannot quickly and easily wipe out my weaknesses it makes me feel totally weak. And these things cause me to get angry.

Well, I'm much the same, and that's why I also feel that I have been quite suiccessful in my life so far, and i'm expecting big things of myself in the future. People I used to work with used to say to me that I'll be a big person someday (not physically...), and I've always stuck to that dream. I'm doing great academically too and have won two awards. I make the most of every minute of my day and nothing is ever wasted. I am impatient as you are, but I have laerned not to get angry. Getting angry will only hurt yourself my friend.

Kevin

I just can't even comprehend how dumb people are. I can understand and accept that they're not as smart as I am because I'm in the top thousandth of one percent and I can appreciate the fact that people do not have time to learn everything but when it is something that is really basic - making change for example - it starts to get to me. If I accept people are dumb and useless I feel like it will lead me down a path which I have been trying very hard for years to not go down. If people really are that useless then they are completely useless and expendable and are nothing more than lesser animals.

The anger is definitely one of the things that gets in my way when doing things. I have no doubt in my mind that if I actually put in the effort I could be the wealthiest human being to ever walk the planet. I do NOT make the most of every minute of every day even though I know I should because when I get angry I just can't do anything and I get angry a lot. Physically shaking with rage is a daily occurrence and not being able to do the small stuff at the beginning of everything which is where I am now is problematic.

I don't want to start from scratch because it takes so much wasted effort to go from zero to millions when I could go from millions to billions with the same amount of effort. Another big problem for me is the fact that once I figure out the answer to the problem or whatever, I lose excitement. I have more excellent inventions that are sitting in a notebook than I know what to do with. I come up with answers to problems all the time but going and making them or continuing to pursue them further is tough. I like to think of myself as an idea guy, I'm the brains and figure out the things that no one else can because I'm so much smarter than everyone else and then I want to delegate the rest of it to others and go figure out the solution to another problem.

topaz wrote:Just another conclusion I have drawn from a career of having to deal with a wide variety of people: being intelligent is not synonymous with being a particularly good human being.

In fact, most of the highly intelligent people I have had to deal with are little better than psychopaths.

Many 'low' IQ people actually contribute far more to society - their hearts are bigger, they care more, they do more. Don't get too caught up with your own IQ scores because it really doesn't mean anything if you don't do anything good with it. Dangerous world leaders, criminals, drug barons no doubt score high on intelligence tests too

This isn't an attack on you by the way, this is something I have been arguing for so long because it is something I am fairly passionate about.

I agree. Smart doesn't make you a good person and part of my problem is that I try really hard to be a good person when it would just be so much easier to not even make the effort and use my intelligence as a means to get whatever I want. People are gullible and easily manipulated. For years I literally lived multiple lives in the sense that I kept completely different stories about who I was as a person with different groups of people. At home I was one person, at school I was another person entirely, online I was someone else, at one point I was actually living under an assumed name with a completely fabricated back story.

I know that some of those dangerous and evil people are often quite intelligent. Ever since I was a little kid I've always said that I have the potential to be a legendary hero the likes of which the world has never seen or a man so malevolent and evil that my name is synonymous with evil for millenia to come. It has been a very large concern for me for a long time because it requires conscious effort to not let myself just use people as a means to an end and take my absurd ambitions through to the end without any thought about the consequences it exacts on others.

I don't really mention it to people because they wouldn't understand and just think I'm being melodramatic but what they don't understand is how smart I really am. My memory is essentially photographic and my obsession has been learning as much as I can about everything since I first learned how to read. I have the unique opportunity to push the human mind to the very limits of what it can contain. Never before in history have humans had access to such vast amounts of information and I want to consume and contain as much information as is theoretically possible for the human mind.

TNSe wrote:

I come off as a pessimist, not arrogant. And I usually say, "It's not pessimism; its the truth."

Why do they do that?? I find it really annoying they say that to me too.

totally_owned wrote:

topaz wrote:Just another conclusion I have drawn from a career of having to deal with a wide variety of people: being intelligent is not synonymous with being a particularly good human being.

In fact, most of the highly intelligent people I have had to deal with are little better than psychopaths.

Many 'low' IQ people actually contribute far more to society - their hearts are bigger, they care more, they do more. Don't get too caught up with your own IQ scores because it really doesn't mean anything if you don't do anything good with it. Dangerous world leaders, criminals, drug barons no doubt score high on intelligence tests too

This isn't an attack on you by the way, this is something I have been arguing for so long because it is something I am fairly passionate about.

I agree. Smart doesn't make you a good person and part of my problem is that I try really hard to be a good person when it would just be so much easier to not even make the effort and use my intelligence as a means to get whatever I want. People are gullible and easily manipulated. For years I literally lived multiple lives in the sense that I kept completely different stories about who I was as a person with different groups of people. At home I was one person, at school I was another person entirely, online I was someone else, at one point I was actually living under an assumed name with a completely fabricated back story.

I know that some of those dangerous and evil people are often quite intelligent. Ever since I was a little kid I've always said that I have the potential to be a legendary hero the likes of which the world has never seen or a man so malevolent and evil that my name is synonymous with evil for millenia to come. It has been a very large concern for me for a long time because it requires conscious effort to not let myself just use people as a means to an end and take my absurd ambitions through to the end without any thought about the consequences it exacts on others.

I don't really mention it to people because they wouldn't understand and just think I'm being melodramatic but what they don't understand is how smart I really am. My memory is essentially photographic and my obsession has been learning as much as I can about everything since I first learned how to read. I have the unique opportunity to push the human mind to the very limits of what it can contain. Never before in history have humans had access to such vast amounts of information and I want to consume and contain as much information as is theoretically possible for the human mind.

What would you say your driving force is right now? What do you want to do with all that you have learnt /what or who do you want to be?

topaz wrote:

totally_owned wrote:

topaz wrote:Just another conclusion I have drawn from a career of having to deal with a wide variety of people: being intelligent is not synonymous with being a particularly good human being.

In fact, most of the highly intelligent people I have had to deal with are little better than psychopaths.

Many 'low' IQ people actually contribute far more to society - their hearts are bigger, they care more, they do more. Don't get too caught up with your own IQ scores because it really doesn't mean anything if you don't do anything good with it. Dangerous world leaders, criminals, drug barons no doubt score high on intelligence tests too

This isn't an attack on you by the way, this is something I have been arguing for so long because it is something I am fairly passionate about.

I agree. Smart doesn't make you a good person and part of my problem is that I try really hard to be a good person when it would just be so much easier to not even make the effort and use my intelligence as a means to get whatever I want. People are gullible and easily manipulated. For years I literally lived multiple lives in the sense that I kept completely different stories about who I was as a person with different groups of people. At home I was one person, at school I was another person entirely, online I was someone else, at one point I was actually living under an assumed name with a completely fabricated back story.

I know that some of those dangerous and evil people are often quite intelligent. Ever since I was a little kid I've always said that I have the potential to be a legendary hero the likes of which the world has never seen or a man so malevolent and evil that my name is synonymous with evil for millenia to come. It has been a very large concern for me for a long time because it requires conscious effort to not let myself just use people as a means to an end and take my absurd ambitions through to the end without any thought about the consequences it exacts on others.

I don't really mention it to people because they wouldn't understand and just think I'm being melodramatic but what they don't understand is how smart I really am. My memory is essentially photographic and my obsession has been learning as much as I can about everything since I first learned how to read. I have the unique opportunity to push the human mind to the very limits of what it can contain. Never before in history have humans had access to such vast amounts of information and I want to consume and contain as much information as is theoretically possible for the human mind.

What would you say your driving force is right now? What do you want to do with all that you have learnt /what or who do you want to be?

I don't know what my driving force is. I cannot answer the question of why I want what I want, I just do. It is almost more of a need than it is a want. I know what I want to be the first trillionaire and an award winning author, politician, Nobel prize winner, I essentially want to be the closest a human has ever come to the concept of a God. I want that when people hear my name they think of a human that can almost barely be classified as a human because I'm so close to being a God. Physical perfection, immense wealth, polygot, renowned author, political thinker/politician, etc.

I wanted to be an author. I wrote loads of books - all pretty pathetic I guess and, fortunately, they never got published

I decided that I had to put my 'dream' on hold and be successful in another area. I can't say that I am happier by doing that but I am 2 steps away from the top rung of the ladder in my field shall we say. (not that I am climbing anymore)

You can do anything you want but you have to select something to work on or it all goes to waste.

I had the same kind of mother and don't know my father but I had a grandmother. It is so confusing when your own parents don't care for you. I relate to a lot of what you wrote except the intelligence part. I did get honor roll up until high school, when the social part tore me apart. I have not had a diagnosis and am curious as to what the steps you took to get one. I'm having trouble taking my life in a meaningful direction as far a career and like you love learning but on my own. If I could get somewhere doing everything online, that would be my perfect solution, taking the social part out of it. It's too distracting in a negative way, in my opinion. I think the best way for us folks without family support is a therapist which I'm seeking but am not sure which kind I would need. Many of the Asperger websites have good resources and that's where I've started. They have resources to help find jobs and doctors. I used the AANE website but I don't know what area you are from so maybe they could refer you to something in your area. I wish you lots of goodness and that you find your direction. I tried the suicide route in my teens and I'm glad you didn't succeed like me.

totally_owned wrote:I guess my biggest question for people here is how do you deal with it? My biggest problem is the fact that I do not really have a family (I was raised by a single drug addict mother after my dad died) so I have been on my own for a really long time and I don't really have any sort of support network or people who care enough to do anything. I've been on my own for a very long time and it is really hard to make myself go forward and do things that have a tangible effect on my life. I am obsessed with learning as much as I can about pretty much everything but being knowledgeable about everything doesn't really pay the bills or bring me the success that I want. I could be really successful if I could get myself to work and make an effort but I don't really care, all I care about is learning more. People that spend time with me and my few "friends" are usually much older but they always look at me and are astonished at how intelligent I am but I can never really parlay it into a job or something that can make me money. It isn't that I can't do it, I can, it's that I don't really deal well with others and I'm always worried that if I go from gaining knowledge to applying knowledge I'll fail miserably and will try to kill myself again.
Thanks!

totally_owned wrote:I use it whenever someone will make some quip about me being arrogant.

Incorrect. "Me being arrogant" should read: my being arrogant
It is incorrect to say "me being arrogant." Instead, we use "my" in the possessive sense because "being" is being used as a gerund.

totally_owned wrote:I know I have shortcomings but I want to eradicate them so that I am perfect.

This is a perpetual task. You'll be finished by the next forever. Shortcomings are part of what makes us human.
Perfection would lead to stagnation. You can't improve upon perfection.

totally_owned wrote:Objectively speaking, I'm freaking awesome but I don't feel that way and I don't have confidence in myself...

You are holding two inconsistent views here.

totally_owned wrote:...have been told that I am quite handsome though I do not see it.

Your concept of handsome seems to be incongruent with this speaker. Check the standard definition of handsome and compare with the speaker's concept of "handsome".

totally_owned wrote:I know I could be really successful too if I just put my mind to action and made strides toward that.

Indeed. You have the right mindset. I suggest you begin. No man knoweth the day nor the hour.

totally_owned wrote:I could, without any doubt in my mind, be making $1,000,000 a year within one year from this date if I put in the effort it required. But as much as I know that to be true, I still cannot seem to do it.

I'm not too sure of this. There are many sinister forces out there. It's worth trying.
"If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started."

totally_owned wrote:I also find other peoples' lack of intelligence very frustrating.

I share this view. I've come to recognize my own mortality. Bill Gates learned that he wasn't the smartest person while at Harvard.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1101040308-596122,00.html

totally_owned wrote:As I am sure is abundantly clear by now, I am very intolerant of failure and weakness especially when it is in myself. There is nothing worse to me than failure and any result that doesn't live up to my extraordinary expectations is failure. Weakness must be eradicated and when I cannot quickly and easily wipe out my weaknesses it makes me feel totally weak. And these things cause me to get angry.

The world isn't like Burger King. You can't always have it your way.

"We pay a heavy price for our fear of failure. It is a powerful obstacle to growth. It assures the progressive narrowing of the personality and prevents exploration and experimentation. There is no learning without some difficulty and fumbling. If you want to keep on learning, you must keep on risking failure—all your life."
John W. Gardner

"The fastest way to succeed is to double your failure rate."
Thomas J. Watson, Founder of IBM

totally_owned wrote:The other day I was waiting in line at the drug store and this woman and the cashier were trying to figure out how to do the change and it was taking forever. It was painful to watch these two women struggling through a basic math operation until I flipped out, stormed up to the counter, split the change up for them, and then waited until it was my turn to pay.

I can be that way too. I'd be nervous(public areas) to the point where my mathematical skills would be rendered nonexistent. So I can see with the two women.

totally_owned wrote:If you read this whole thing I apologize

In that case you shouldn't have bothered to post. You're apologizing for something deliberately done?!

for the record and being honest, I started checking out about 10 posts down, but I have something to say so I am going for it. (I swear I tried to read the whole thing)

Anyway, reading about getting angry at people, I was thinking about working in IT. My co-workers would get so angry at the users for not knowing anything about computers, but most had a reasonable knowledge level. So I would try to point out, "Hey, our job is to know the computers, that's why they hired us. Their job is to know accounting, or law, or sales or whatever it is that they do. You can't do their job any better than they can do yours. And if they could we wouldn't get paychecks." So you know, takes all kinds to make the world go round and everyone brings something different to the table, I imagine it'd be boring otherwise.

Don't get me wrong, effing idiot and/or whiny little (w)itches comes outta my mouth at least 5 times a day. Think about it though, without them who would we call idiots? We need them or our heads will explode. And they need us, they will never understand Linux. It's a nicely symbiotic relationship I think.

Also I can completely understand wanting to eradicate negative qualities to reach perfection. I wonder though, if I could do that, then what would I do? There'd be nothing left to work on/towards. I wonder if it would be as anti-climatic as finally beating a video game and being left with the credits rolling. Hmm, maybe that's why I'm on the last level of several different games...