My Aspie bf seems obsessed with sex. Help!

Thanks for the response, JustiFine. Might I ask how disinterested in sex your boyfriend actually is? I have virtually nil interest in it, and I think this frustrated my last girlfriend (all of 4 years ago now). I do have an interest in emotioal bonding and foreplay though.

Kevin

bablp,

Most Aspies seem to very much dislike touch, especially by another person, so I really doubt that he is even an Aspie if he wants sex that much.

philabronc

This varies from person to person.

i'm a 28 year old woman and i disagree with philabronc, as i have aspergers syndrome, although philabroncs is correct, i don't like getting touched, i also have an obsession with sex, to have sex you don't actually have to touch the person. Basically, i'm going through delayed adolesence, as i didn't go through it when i was a teenager. Maybe your boyfriend is going through something similar. Have you tried talking to him about it?

jackystar4 wrote:to have sex you don't actually have to touch the person.

You're doing it wrong

I do the same thing. When I would try to get my (ex) to understand, no matter how hard I tried, he just didnt get it. The only thing I could do was drop it. Getting into spats like these were too overwhelming and stressful. I couldnt fix it so I tried to ignore it.
Hes overwelmed. He may be afraid he wont say the right thing or be understood and so the arguement will continue. He also may feel that everything he does is worng. Thats common too. Approach him like a child. I mean no disrespect for other aspies out there by saying that but thats what I tell people about myself. Dont talk down to me, but approach me with no frustration or anger or I will immediately get overwhelmed (and for me -- defensive). Hope this helps

Well, I don't very much like touch too much either, but how I got around the issue with past girelfriends was by showering myself after being with them. I'd always feel 'dirty' after cuddling/kissing for the day, and look forward to my shower. Touch isn't too bad, once you know there's a clean 'you' on the horizon.

I think most of us would give some leeway with regard to this issue, instead of facing a potential life of loneliness.

Kevin

philabronc wrote:bablp,

Most Aspies seem to very much dislike touch, especially by another person, so I really doubt that he is even an Aspie if he wants sex that much.

philabronc

Your statement is quite ignorant in its assumption.

Avoidance to touch is a sensory issue and many with Asperger to not have comorbidity of sensory intergration disorder. I do not mind touching on my terms.

Anxiety appears to be comobid to many with Aspergers and your boyfriend may use constant sexual release to relieve his anxiety.

Obsessive behaviour appears common to people with Aspergers and it maybe as simple as he enjoys climaxing. Communicate to him that you are not a robot and place restrictions.

Where did you copy that from Sarcastica .

I think you may have covered it very well with that post. I even think I can relate to it.

see the thing is, he doesnt really like getting close as in cuddling. He likes to deal with everything on his own. If he gets upset he wont speak to me, even if it has nothing to do with me. I have told him several times that he needs to stop bothering me about sex so much and all he tells me is that it feels so good. He will seriously bug me like 10 times a day until i finally just do it. He really doesnt like being touched other then sex though.