New diagnosis for a 6 year old boy... Freaked out mom.

This is my first post and I need all the information I can get. My son, I have long suspected has had a medical problem. Just this last week his therapist concludes that he has or may have asperger's syndrome. I have long thought that he might be mildly autistic. The signs have been there since nearly birth. I want to know if there a definitive test for this syndrome or is it just based on the symptoms the patient exibits. How can I find a qualified professional for my family and my son to treat this disorder? (I really am not happy with the provider my son is seeing.) Being that my son was born in 1998 the thermosil vaccacinations were still being used and my son did recieve several doses before it was pulled from the market. How can I find out more about the complications from these immunizations and their connnection with AS and Autism?

There is no known cure for Asperger's.

You have a lot to do. From now, till he leaves home.

If I may be so bold as to suggest a few things, being an aspie myself.

-Do not rely on professionals. While they may be of help, you're the one who's with your son most of the time. A few hours a week of professional help will not make up for all the time you could be helping your son.

-Your son will get all the discouragement and self-doubt while interacting with his peers. People are not uncruel towards odd ones, with exceptions. You could do a lot to make him understand how (and why) he is different from his peers, and it is OK with you, the ones he expects to receive unconditional love from. IMO, most of the reason aspies have psychological problems is because they develop anxiety, have self-doubt due to their inability to deal with other people on their terms. Good parenting, reassurance can make loads of difference.

-Learn and teach. He is too young to learn himself. Do not ignore information on adults, since he will grow up to be one one day and you can help him now, when you can make a difference. It may be too late by the time he becomes an adult.

-Do not be frustrated with him. Do not be frustrated with yourself. Having one person in the world who accepted me for who I truly am would have made so much difference. In that respect, he is luckier than most of us who learned about AS in our adult years.

http://p201.ezboard.com/faspergersyndro ... D=30.topic

the above link contains info on some books and websites, mostly geared towards adults.

Most of my concerns are because we have not been coping well at home with my son. He is so difficult and need help managing him. Being that he has now been diagnosed we need to get help just managing him. Tommrrow we are seeing a nutritionist about his diet problems. I have been reading and sounds like his eating habbits are a symptom of AS. My husband and I have been struggling to get some type of control over him and we need a good resource to help us cope mostly and educate us about the things that our son is going though. Hes a brilliant boy and we dont want to see him be unsucessful because we could not give him the right tools to manage his own life as an adult.

Can anyone tell me is it commmon for children with AS to be agressive physicaly with siblings and parents?

I am open to any info anyone can give me on this.

Concerned parents.

Never read anywhere eating habits being a symptom. Besides, what habits are you talking about in a 6yo? You mean preferences?

OK, I am old enough to have had several but never had any kids. Going back to my childhood, AFAICR, being controlled by frustrated parents has done nothing but create anger, frustration and anxiety.

One needs to understand that an aspie does not feel, see and understand the world the way a neurotypical person does. Most of my being controlled, punished etc. did not provide the desired effect because I did not understand why I was being punished for something that was in my nature to begin with.

And this is the cause of self-doubt, anxiety, hidden and repressed anger, envy and the lot. Best to nip them in the bud than let them flourish.

Not that I mean what you are planning to do will do that to your son. I don't even know what you are planning to do, let alone say it's right or wrong.

But if I had a 6yo son with Asperger's, and some of his behavior were less than desirable, I would take the time to communicate this to him in his own terms. This way, he will understand what he is doing, why it is not acceptable, and what you would like him to do instead.

This is not something you can take for granted. My parents did the same, they assumed I was intelligent enough to understand and treated me as such. As a 6yo myself, I did not even know I did not understand, that there was a neurotypical way of perceiving reality as well as my limited one. Hell, I thought I was normal!

If I could reverse the clock and teach my parents, I would teach them to explain things one step at a time and verify that I understood them. One of the issues stressed in any good book about Asperger's.

Also, I think if I were a parent, I would devote my time for an issue as important as this. It is an issue of who matters more. I would learn all I can and then some and understand how my son thinks.

I do not mean to teach anyone parenting, esp. not being one. Nor am I saying your approach is right or wrong. I am merely stating what did not work for me and how I would have done it.

Misbehaving is a symptom of a troubled self. I misbehaved during periods I was in pain, emotionally. Most of the time I was not even aware that I was in pain, I just had to let something out. Some of it was frustration due to inability to have the same relationships with my peers as I saw them have; some because I was stressed after starting a new school; some because there were new rules I did not understand.

hi....my son was born 1998 as well, he is 6 soon to be 7 and has AS. I can give you loads of information.

He is also aggressive with his sister but it has gotten better now that we've realized the cause. The first advice I would give you - is to be as accepting of him as you can. He doesn't understand why he is different and feels frustrated and the aggression is a result.

Getting angry with him or yelling will do ALOT of damage (I am not assuming you do this, but I used to with my son). His self esteem is probably very low even though it may not be apparent. It will be a long process to see any results with him but worth it for his future. He needs alot of praise and reassurance. When he is bad and aggressive, wait for him to calm down then talk rationally to him about it and let him know you love him even after that kind of event.

My son does not verbalize the stress he experiences on a day to day basis, but being an AS myself I understand what he goes through. When he realizes that I understand him he lets down his guard and softens up alot. He's also very gifted with piano and art so we focus alot on that for his self esteem. A big stress for him is friendships at school so we have the school involved, his teacher is amazing, we are so lucky. I hope you have the same resources available to you - it makes a big difference since they are in school all day to have the teacher understand what makes them tick.

Hi I am new to this as I am comming to terms that my 6 year old son may be an aspie, he is on a waiting list to be evaluated, but I cannot wait to get the ball rolling and to aid him an every way (any) possible.

I have been reading diferent fourms for days on end now and do strongly belive that he is an aspie. It is my hope that with all the information that is out there that one day my son can function as normaly as posible.

I am also leaning to the notion that I too may be an aspie as I did and still do have a difficult time in social situations, which is a problem with my current marriage.

I know that there is more people out there with the same situations as myself and I would like to hear from you!

thanks
Aspiedad

You can get the ball rolling before he gets evaluated. It took us a long time to get the formal evaluation for my son but we were working on him long before then - probably because I had researched AS alot and had already decided in my mind that this was what his problem was.

What I was told by the psychologists and doctors was not to expect any instant answers to our problems and that I was going to be the best 'psychologist' for my son because I knew him best. I am also AS and therefore understand how he thinks which is a big advantage. I didn't realize I was AS until this all came about with my son. It answered alot of questions for me - maybe you are going through the same thing.

Is your son is grade 1? Does he have any friends?

I'm posting the first time on this forum. I also have a son who is actually 7 today and was diagnosed with AS close to a year ago. One of the reasons I avoided vaccinating him was because some of the stories of autism's connection with certain vaccines. Well, he's an Aspie and it sure has nothing to do with that. As I've read, it's commonly inhereted from the paternal side...of course, there are experts on this forum, probably, and I am no expert.