Inappropriate smiling

Bit of an odd one this (?) but I wanted to mention it because I'm new here. Aside from when somebody else's problems affect me I never really care with their predicaments (anyone else have the same?), but I also have this weird thing where I actually have to stop myself smiling when they're unloading problems. I don't know why it happens but I can feel the corners of my mouth starting to take shape and I obviously have to try and control it!

I used to think because I'm nervous it was almost like a hysterical reaction but it just isn't. And it isn't me being a heartless guy either (I hope!).

I understand 100%. Sometimes I just have to leave the room for a second to make sure I don't upset them. Excuse me a sec, I gotta go to the bathroom.

Even NTs have to practice in front of mirrors to make sure their facial expressions are appropriate for any given situation.

They do it all the time in the movies and on TV.

There are lots of books written about interpreting body language too.

Hey dude,

I do this and have to consciously tell myself not to smile too. In the past, this would have got me into trouble in my relationships with people in general, but I have learned now. The prime example is when I once burst out laughing at a funeral, which wasn't obviously the best thing to do. Other times, I have laughed when girlfriends were expressing their general frustrations about life. One girlfriend wouldn't accept this and used to hurlabuse at me, quite rightly too.

Just make sure that you learn from your mistakes.

Kevin

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liamir, were you actually happy about being suicidal or were you just smiling for the sake of it? I ask because I typically feel like smiling when I start telling people about my problems. I guess I 'enjoy' letting people know how $#%^ my life is. However, some people would see this as the sign of a '#######4' - i.e. that your problems aren't as big as you are making out.

Chucky wrote:I typically feel like smiling when I start telling people about my problems. I guess I 'enjoy' letting people know how $#%^ my life is. However, some people would see this as the sign of a '#######4' - i.e. that your problems aren't as big as you are making out.

yeah I know what you mean. I do the smiling thing as well in the most inappropriate situations. Specially if I'm telling someone about my problems or if someone's telling me theirs.
I don't know why I do it ,but I never thought of it as it being me enjoying my own pain though...

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This is something that was brought to my attention in a sign language (Deaf language) class but it might apply here.

It was pointed out by our teacher in that a class that many hearing people have to learn to correlate the expression on their face with what they are trying to say when using sign language.

The teacher postulated that normally hearing people smiling while telling a sad story in a sign language (not their mother tongue) was a common error and possibly caused by any of a multiple of factors.

1) smiling doesn't use as many muscles as frowning. Its more natural to default to.

2) people get so excited that they are actually talking to someone that they might loose fact that the story they're relating should be delivered with a "sad" face

3) or they're so pleased that they are finally being able to share something with someone who might otherwise not be communicated with that even though the story might be sad, they are actually happy to be able to communicated the words to share it.

I mentioned earlier, even NTs practice talking while watching themselves in a mirror to make sure their facial expression is appropriate to the subject matter.

That's very intersting macushla. In my case, it's definately point number 2. When I talk to people, I become hyperactive. However, lately I have been able to calm myself down and speak fluidly and calmly. Before this my voice would be shaky and I would speak quickly. Actually, as I think vack through my life, I can remember meeting many people who were shy and who laughed while talking about various problems in their lives.