Having trouble at job

Isn't studying well related to long term memory? I have no idea what those high abilities are. Never understood since my childhıod and the poor education system led me to believe i was a genius.

aspies excel at tasks that are repetitive but require attention to detail. what they don't do well is basically the opposite of that, namely tasks that are wide-ranging and vague. basically, you need a job that plays to your strengths, not your weaknesses. from what you say, being a lawyer isn't it. i don't see the point in allowing this to get to the point where you get sacked. either tell them the truth or walk. the former at least means they have the opportunity to try to fit you in somewhere. the latter means it'll be down to you to find some sort of niche in life.

i'm at the point where i've given up on life. it's all been far too much for me. and my parents both dying has meant that no one is left that cares about me.

you don't want to end up where i am. you have to find somewhere where you feel that you belong. no one else is going to do this for you. my advice is to just try anything until something clicks.

shock_the_monkey wrote: from what you say, being a lawyer isn't it.

I didn't read that.

It's a new job. There is time needed to adapt. Plus lawyer allows a large range of profiles.

What i mean is that it's important to know oneself. In a new job, the job has to adapt, you have to adapt.

It's important that you have security in your skills. If what you studied is long term, it's good.

Philonoe wrote:

shock_the_monkey wrote: from what you say, being a lawyer isn't it.

I didn't read that.

... i'd say it's difficult to read the OP in this thread and reach a different conclusion. it took 20 years for my former employer to sack me for having AS, not just a few weeks. if things are this bad from the get-go, i'd hardly hold out much hope that they'll vastly improve. that seems slightly irrational to me. sure, you can be optimistic. but i honestly don't see anything to justify that here. and that's why i'm advocating being open and honest about this problem, as i see that as the most likely route to the least damaging outcome.

i really regret not having know that i had AS before i got sacked. but i didn't. i keep wondering if that might have made a difference. AprilR does know but it's entirely up to her whether she actually tells her employer.

AprilR wrote:I can't multitask and my short term memory is poor. I don't handle stress well. If i tell them that it's the same as saying i can't do the job.

I think it depends on the job.

You can tell them and at the same time tell them what are your strengths. Explain them in what environment you best work.

-- Wed Mar 06, 2019 9:58 am --

shock_the_monkey wrote:AprilR does know but it's entirely up to her whether she actually tells her employer.

AprilR can or not tell about Asperger. Possibly the employer doesn't know well anyway.

What's important is that she talks about her specific profile, her needs, her strengths.

Thank you for the responses. I don't know what are my strengths really. Possibly my patience and kindness? Idk what that would help with. Lawyers arent known for their kindness. Also shock i really want to tell the truth but i cant do that because im not out to anyone besides my therapist bc im scared it will somehow affect my dad. My employer repeatedly calls me slow witted and absent minded and seems to understand i have mental problems. Thats why i want to tell too.

i'm convinced that my father had AS. i think his mother had it too. i could see the similarities to myself very clearly. but i never told my father. indeed, i've never told anyone. there would have been no point.

if you did tell your employer, this would be medically confidential. it might also oblige your employer to make 'reasonable adjustments' for you. so, i'm not sure why your father would have to know, even if your employer did sack you. if they told your father, they would be breaking your medical confidentiality. i'd be very surprised if a law firm didn't understand that.

AprilR wrote:Never understood since my childhıod and the poor education system led me to believe i was a genius.

Do you mean that studies were easy for you?

I'm Having trouble remembering the 94737 things they tell me to do in five minutes.

That's a problem. In that case it's important to use some tools. Be write on a paper, use computer programs...
Usually most professional people (from what i witnessed) use some basic tools. For instance, for a new employee, write the informations is very professional attitude.

Possibly my patience and kindness?

Yes, those are good qualities. Not because lawyers struggle, don't they need good atmosfeer in their job.

Beginning a new job is difficult for everyone. I imagine that with asperger profile it's 100X difficult : you have to get plenty of implicit information, receive all information at the same time, have to be confronted to new contexts, every hour a new one.

However, it seems to me that your qualities are extremely important for a worker.
You are kind and patient, you have long term memory, and probably remember more of your studies then all those students who learned the day before the exam and forgot the day after.
You are serious, you have intellectual abilities, you seem humble and persevering.

Those qualities are those of what could be called a "pearl" provided you find adequate environment, and pass over the first times (monthes?) of working.