Tips to help my asperger's spouse

Hello! Recently my spouse and I discovered he has some major similarities with asperger's. We are currently starting the path to diagnosis, but in the meanwhile I am looking for any suggestions or tips that have been useful to others to help with some of the symptoms.

The major symptoms he has is being quite rude or critical towards people. When confronted with it he immediately becomes apologetic and does not realize at all that what he said was hurtful and wants to make it up to the person. He even told me one time he thought he was being funny, not mean and critical. There have been many instsances where I have had to oversee resolving relationship issues between him and friends or family. And when I tell him about the issues other people have with the way he speaks he is completely oblivious to it. This is what sparked our research into aspergers.

After doing much research I realized he has many other symptoms as well. He never fully finishes tasks. He does them half way (which is probably more along ADHD but he has never been seen to diagnose anything). He never had friends in school. He constantly wants to be accepted and will overexagerate in stories in hopes of making/keeping friends. He does not help around the house on his own, I must ask and be very specific about the time frame. Ex: I ask him to bring the trash cans in and he does it three days later but only brings them to the gate, not completely inside where they are supposed to go. He also spends endless amount of time playing video games on his computer. Conveniently he is actually extremely good and plays on a team (overwatch on pc) and makes money doing it, but he is 31 and I don't know many 31 year olds who still do that (nothing against it if you still do! he has taught me to love videogames as well).

Thankfully, he is very loving and affectionate. Over the years of being with him I make sure to completely express my needs in the relationship as well as how I am feeling. By doing that I have resolved a lot of issues regarding communication between the two of us. He also manages to hold down a job well although the job he has was due to his father's connections. He is very funny and makes things really fun and exciting, but the biggest issue is his rudeness and obviously the little things around the house get very annoying. And with children in the furture, I worry it will only get worse.

Now, he has not been formaly diagnosed. We are in the process of working on it. For all I now he could be totally normal and just not socially intuitive. But either way, I'd like to find some tools to help resolve the issue as much as possible and was hoping this was a good place to start.

TL:DR I am curious what tricks you have used to help yourself or a spouse with your inability to recognize when you are being rude or inappropriate in public and what has been useful to help you understand how you can be helpful to your spouse in the home and in the realtionship.

basically, social interaction is something we all have to learn. aspies, due to their introversion, tend not to do well at this learning process. and every situation is different, so there's no generic solution. one way that is used to teach children with AS is 'social stories'. this is a teaching tool that uses pictures that tell a story of a social interaction and give insights into thoughts and feelings. they also can have multiple outcomes. the idea is to build insight into social interaction.