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Living In A Group Home is very frustrating and want out

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Living In A Group Home is very frustrating and want out

Postby Sneako Sizzle » Sat Feb 17, 2018 5:01 am

Hello I am a 34 year old individual with Asperger's Syndrome currently living in an adult family home. It is the third one I've been in because the other two were not very good having numerous problems that I left them. Where I am at isn't too bad but I am still dependent on others for transportation even though I have a drivers license, but no car or insurance. I want to have my own house someday and have lived in independent apartments before but other problems came up that I left them. I have been at my current place since Dec. 1st last year and want to know what the best way is to get out of group home life forever. I hate living with other people who have disabilities, especially ones who are rude and have no relation to me. They don't even know how to hold a decent conversation or talk normally. I don't have any friends here and getting rides to pick up job applications is a hassle because they are not always available to take me or are so busy taking others to things. None of the residents here work or even care about employment or moving on. Two of them hardly ever speak at all and one is known to get into physical altercations/fights with others at times. This isn't the way I want to live my life.

I am a highly functioning person who just has never had the chance to live on a full time income job. In the past I was dependent on family members to support me in my previous apartments but that came to an end almost a year and a half ago. Many times I've tried finding jobs but with the condition of my past group homes and one supported apartment with a bad roommate/staff, has caused employment to be on hold for quite a while (i haven't worked a real job in 10 years). My aunt who is my legal guardian doesn't think I'm ready to go back to even a supported apartment and wants me here until December 1st, when the protective placement order is up. The protective placement order was only put in place because they thought I would be eligible for a living center for people with developmental disabilities but a coordinator last Wednesday came to see me about it and he thought I was too high functioned for it. Plus I found I would be able to move into a supported apartment with or without the order so she was wrong. However unfort. it is up to her and my caseworker. What can I do about this? I'm just tired of living this way and want my freedom back. It is not fair to keep sitting here when I could be getting job applications and working a real job to try and support myself. I would appreciate any advice you can give me. Thanks.org
Sneako Sizzle
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Re: Living In A Group Home is very frustrating and want out

Postby shock_the_monkey » Sat Feb 17, 2018 11:20 am

this is a very simple equation: employment = finance = independence.

unfortunately, all too many people become trapped in poverty because they simply lack opportunity. as such, the only way out is to try to find ways of increasing that opportunity. in your situation, possibly the best way forward would be some form of charity work. this won't give you the money that you need in order to move on with your life, however, what it will do is place you in an environment where people are motivated and active. many charity workers are highly skilled professionals looking to use those skills to make the world a better place. and they have professional networks. it's these networks that you need to access. they will open up a whole new world of opportunity for you. people are, on the whole, very charitable, where they can be. most people will help you where they can. getting to know such people will provide you with opportunities that will never come your way in your current environment.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
shock_the_monkey
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Re: Living In A Group Home is very frustrating and want out

Postby serpand » Tue Feb 20, 2018 10:29 am

First you need to solve your mobility problem. My advice get a bike, with lights and a lock, and use it with the attention not to reach your destination all sweaty and smelly. I use it every day, it's a good exercise, and gets me into a 5 km radius of where I live. Use it in combination with public transportation. Don't sit around waiting for others to solve your problems, you are not in their urgent to do list. So now, with some effort, you can reach any place you need to be. Just got to channel that motivation for Independence into actions which lead you from where you are to where you want to be, which is tricky and not so straightforward as we would like. But this struggle is what's life is all about. So you just go out and get what you need to feel good, preferentially without taking from others what they need, at least if others decide that what they need doesn't require them to take from others what they have.
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Re: Living In A Group Home is very frustrating and want out

Postby shock_the_monkey » Tue Feb 20, 2018 3:06 pm

just as an FYI, having dyspraxia means that i'm a disaster on a bike. the last time i cycled was about 35 years ago and on that occasion i was slip-streaming my brother on the main road into town, clipped the back wheel of his bike and fell the wrong side into the road. if there'd been a motor vehicle behind me, i wouldn't be here today. and that's why i've never cycled since then.

PS: this kind of thing has the added embarrassment of helpful passersby stopping and offering to take you home!
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
shock_the_monkey
Consumer 6
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Posts: 4974
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:36 pm
Local time: Tue Mar 19, 2024 9:09 am
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Re: Living In A Group Home is very frustrating and want out

Postby serpand » Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:28 pm

I agree you shouldn't risk your life when you have motor coordination issues. Still, if the bike could give you mobility which could push your life forward to a new level of well-being, then you should practice in a safe place for as long as it takes until eventually you will improve and be able to ride safely.
serpand
Consumer 4
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Posts: 96
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 11:15 pm
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