I think I have aspergers syndrome

Hi I am a 21 year old girl and i'm pretty sure that I have Aspergers syndrome.
I cannot get a diagnostication done because it's very hard to get them to go through with one (i've tried) and I am speaking to a therapist but my therapist cannot help. I have done one test and it said that I was medium on the scale of how intense your aspergers is.
I have a very good friend with aspergers syndrome diagnosed from when she was a small child and we can relate to each other 100% and have the exact same problems.
I cannot do anything without help from my parents (but I do get a lot of help so it may seem on the outside like I function normally), I can't make phone calls unless I get forced and I do it with tears in my eyes, I cannot make friends because I don't know how to talk to people and I cannot show my emotions which causes me to get misunderstood by everyone I meet. I am also very childish for my age, after 3 relationships I am still a virgin (i'm NOT asexual I just don't feel emotionally mature enough to take that step with someone), I rarely drink alcohol, I am incapable of doing things spontaneously and I need to have everything planned in advance, I never swear and I am just generally very quiet and careful. My ex also has mental health issues and severe social phobia and we were together over a year until even he started to get sick of how "closed" I am when there are people around and how shy and introverted I am and he started picking on me, calling me names and trying to get me to do illegal stuff by claiming he did because i'm such a wimp. I don't think he meant any harm because he's nice but even he got annoyed with me eventually and his humor is quite harsh but when I got really upset he apologized and also realized I took most of what he said (joked) literally and I basically just told him to f off and leave me alone and don't comment on the way I am.
So I have these problems and I don't know if just normal therapy can help me fix that if I do have aspergers and how I will cope out in the real world on my own without any proof of a diagnose, i'll just have to do what normal people do and right now I have a sales job and it's very hard for me, lots of anxiety everytime and I am so exhausted all the time too and just wanna sleep but I can't do that. I do want to have jobs with people though because those are the only jobs that interest me - the ones that involves a lot of interaction with unfortunately. I am not interested in medication and I have seen what it can do to people. I just want to know what I can do because i'm just lonley and misunderstood and people don't get me the ones who try to know me and how can I explain to them what is wrong with me when I don't even know for sure myself?

your post pretty much sums up the basic problem with AS. it's the desire to be social without the ability to do so. we are, after all, social creatures - it's in our very basic nature. to lack this ability and be aware of it at both an intellectual and emotional level can be very painful indeed. and it's why people with AS have nearly 10 time the rate of suicidal ideation compared to NTs. it's that bad.

now, what to do about this. the cold hard truth here is that, by and large, you just have to live with it. getting a diagnosis isn't, of itself, a solution. it's just a stepping stone on the road to trying to ameliorate the more distressing symptoms. i don't doubt that this route helps some people but it's best done as early as possible. post-school is getting to be much to late in life. so, by all means, try again for a diagnosis and see where that leads you. otherwise, you're just going to have to try as best you can to make your own way in life, as nearly everyone had to do pre-the early 1980s when AS first became much more widely recognised.

Hello. About the medication if you are really down and don't want to go there, that is great, but you need to do something, or else you might get to a point where you don't want to do anything at all. I believe the best you can do is get hobbies, that really help me. Creative hobbies like playing an instrument, writing or painting, will allow to channel negativity to more useful purposes, like expressing yourself. Exercise, that is important, it will help to clear your mind. When you have hobbies which are pleasurable you will enjoy more the alone time, which AS usually needs a lot, and that will charge your batteries
To socialize