Furious about misdiagnosis

I was diagnosed with Asperger's a few years ago while I was in college. I was having a difficult time with both my college work and my job, I was tired all the time and I was dressing pretty badly and not taking care of my appearence. I kept getting fired from jobs I held during college and a doctor who saw me for a throat infection I had at the time suggested I see a stress counselor. That woman called my mother (not me) and told her I had Asperger's.

The diagnosis ruined my life. I flunked out of college, didn't get another job and started dating a gut who had Asperger's because I thought no-one else would want me. I fell into a deep depression and I gained more weight than I ever had before.

About two years later, I started looking for new friends and found I made them easily. I've always been social and I started going out more, clubbing and the like which I never did with my boyfriend because he has trouble socialising anywhere outside of college. I cheated on my boyfriend several times without meaning to and found that men actually did find me attractive and outgoing. In the end I broke up with my boyfriend, moved to the city and got a job.

I have since discovered that I have chronic fatigue disorder, and some of the mental attributes of that condition fit with the so called 'Asperger's symptoms.' I haven't been officially diagnosed but I started living my life as if I had CFIDs. I lost weight, I look a hell of a lot better and I've held my job for two years which is a record for me. My social life is fairly hectic now and I can't imagine anyone thinking I have Asperger's now. Except my mother, because as far as she's concerned a doctor told her I have something so I must have it.

The problem is, whenever I hear a mention of the word 'Asperger's' I become filled with rage. That stupid diagnosis robbed me of two whole years of my life and is still colouring my relationship with my mother. I'm still friends (sort of) with my ex and according to him, anyone who shows a little trait of Asperger's must have it. It's very frustrating to listen to. It's been mentioned a lot in media now and it seems to me like it's the new ADD, everyone has it! I'm so angry and I don't know how to get over it. I had counselling but it didn't help because I hated the woman who counselled me.

Rather than getting upset with the fact that you were misdiagnosed, you should realize that not all psychiatrists are complete experts and some will make mistakes. You seemed to have let the psychiatrist's opinion take advantage of you a great deal. It's not a diagnosis' fault that you let your life become something you weren't happy with; it was yours. Take things professionals say with a grain of salt, and don't take it as law.

Sorry if I sound rude, but I am trying to help you.

I am starting to wonder whether a diagnosis of Asperger's is more harm than good.

I don't think I would have got together with my husband of 10 years if he had had a diagnosis of autism. Half of his charm was, and still is the mystery and magic of the way he works.

I went through the process which got my daughter diagnosed when she was five. I thought it would be best for her but she has gotten little out of the state, despite lots and lots of appoinments, meetings and report filling (some of it very dubiously spiteful by a 'support' woman who didn't like it when i got frustrated with her.)

She goes to a mainstream school, and they obviously just do not have enough understanding or training.

I think maybe she should have just been allowed some slack and some company of similar peers at least some of the time, instead of supposed equal opportunities.

I realise that in the times we are living in i probably did the best thing, but i feel sick that the state and the psychiatric community has stolen her soul.

What I mean by that is that they have given her an identity in society which can be perjorative, not to mention that whatever reports say about her are facts in the eyes of the law.


Its like having a nasty biography about you being circulated.

Missie just get over it, you learned a valuable lesson i.e. - psychiatrists are stupid, and sometimes evil.

I dont know if it is my very very low empathy at work (or rather not at work) but I see no logical reason whatso ever too cheer you up.
Basically you let a diagnosis run your life, I cant fathom how you can do that? How can something so trivial control a person too that degree.

And how can you accidentally cheat on someone? Someone you used no less from what you have written, maybe the guy you dumped who has AS should come here and make a post.

Im sorry but if I dont feel any empathy for humans I certainly dont feel it for sheep.

I was eighteen. I was massively depressed and exhausted and open to suggestion. And I didn't let it run my life, I railed against it for a year and a half after I was diagnosed.

I accidently cheated on my boyfriend because I was frequently drunk and my home situation was miserable. I know this sounds like I'm making a bunch of excuses but haven't you ever done anything stupid in your life? Aside from anything I was so desperate to feel attractive that I got off with any guy who looked my way with approval.

And I NEVER used my boyfriend! If anything he used me. We never did anything I wanted to do, he never wanted to listen to me (half the time I talked to him I could tell he was just waiting for me to shut up so he could talk) and he insisted I come to all of his college events so he could show me off to his friends and say "hey look, I've got a girlfriend!" I made lots of sacrifices for him, he never made any for me. I'm not anti-Asperger's but he was a jerk to me and would have been whether he had Asperger's or not.

The CFIDs affects me in such a way that when I get low my communication capabilities shut down and I accept anything anyone tells me. The matter was not trivial to me, my mother used the diagnosis to act like I was retarded.

I don't like you at all Missie. You obviously didn't even find out waht AS was until years later. That's your problem.

I'm sorry but you're most definitely making excuses here. You're saying you drank too much, cheated on your boyfriend, became socially withdrawn, allowed others to take advantage of you, and acted sexually deviant. And despite all these things you clearly allowed to happen or did yourself, you still blame it on your psychiatrist, your boyfriend, other men, and now you're letting this other diagnosis control you're behaviour as well. I can't sympathise with anything you're saying given the picture you are drawing for me. It's understandable that you were depressed and not in a good state of mind, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn from the things you did wrong and stop blaming others.

I'm not actually blaming anyone. I have problems and I know it's up to me to fix them and that's what I've been doing. I was having an anger management problem and I asked for some advice, that's all.

And seriously, haven't any of you EVER done something stupid? I did get drunk a lot and I made mistakes but so have most of my friends. I don't like this high and mighty tone people seem to be taking with me. Is this how you talk to your friends or relatives when they need help?

I don't like YOUR tone either.

Well, maybe we just got off on the wrong foot. I'm not angry all the time and I'm not a horrible person. This particular subject happens to needle me. We all have our triggers.