Asperger's and Impotence

I recently came to the realization that I have aspergers. though i haven't been formallly diagnosed. all the symptoms are right there.

The first time i was ever with a woman, it took me forever to get it up. nerves, i thought. i'm sure she thought i was gay, but that's not the case. then, first real girlfriend i had, she was pateint, we worked through it and never ever had a problem. i felt safe with her and i trusted her. same with my other long-term girl friend.

since then i've taken to using viagra whenever i'm in a casual sex encounter -- and probably have had more of them than i should -- but i didn't understand that i had asperger's and that was part of what was keeping me from having healthy, trusting relationships.

the question is, biologically or neurochemically, is there any part of aspergers that stops the mental and emotional cues to get an erection? unlike lots of people on here, i love affection and physical intimacy. i crave it since i can't make the emotional connections that would satisfy otherwise. but i feel like all the fireworks are going off in my brain that i want to be with this person, but somehow the signal's just not transmitting down there.

thoughts? similar experiences?

I don't think there is anything neurological or biological that would prevent you from being aroused. You've also experienced no sexual problems while you were with your two real girlfriends.

My thought is that sexual intercourse is a few steps beyond your desire for affection and physical intamicy and that this is the reason you are not sexually aroused.

I've seen a few accounts of Aspies reporting little or no sex drive, or difficulties of other types regarding sex. Every guy has problems at some point in his life, and sometimes those problems last awhile.

Personally, I would try not to worry about it too much if I were in your shoes. Worrying about things is likely to create more problems than it solves. (The male anatomy can be a fickle and tempermental thing.) If you're not feeling well, under a lot of stress, or any number of other issues it can decide to simply stop working properly.


Also, it doesn't seem unusual for Aspies to just be less interested in sex, though whether this is because of Asperger's or because of completely unrelated other random causes isn't clear.

aspie_nyc:

I have exactly the same experiences as you. In fact I even created a thread on this, "Asperger's and sex/relationships/masturbation". It's right below this one!

I also have Asperger's and like you I have problems sustaining an erection with a real woman.

Hey,


Yeh, that other similar thread is here: http://psychforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=17304.


A low sex drive is [obviously] linked to lower levels of Testosterone circulating in the blood. What is interesting is that a low testosterone level has been implicated in depressed males. Then, if you put two-and-two together you will realise that a substantial amount of Aspergers' sufferers are depressed and, thus, may have low levels of Testosterone (and thus, a low sex drive).


I have had trouble maintaining an erction in the past too but perhaps that was just first-time nerves. Sex doesn't appeal to me at all - Foreplay actually does because it's a better bonding experience in my opinion.


Kevin.

Chucky wrote:Hey,

Sex doesn't appeal to me at all - Foreplay actually does because it's a better bonding experience in my opinion.

I also enjoy foreplay a lot more than the "real thing", have always wondered why.

BUT please note that I would never describe myself as having a "low sex drive"... I have a pretty high sex drive! But for some reason, I'm able to satisfy it with more intensity and vigor by masturbation to images and videos, not by real sex...

Masturbation? - I view it as a chore! I cannot believe you enjoy it hehe

In reading he young man's original post, I must say that this is not uncommon in many of the patients I see in my clinic. As Asperger's is a relatively new study, there are new discoveries that we find on a regular basis.

Although the poster notes 2 girlfriends with whom he has been able to attain and maintain erections with, he does not mention how many others he had problems with. Was it many or just a few?

Also, in my work I am encountering many men in similar situations who later admit to having had sexual relations with men or who go on to have such relations. For many aspies, the initial recation to homsexuality is one of repulsion as their learned sexuality is hetero. However, in my work, many aspies have found sexual arousal and the ability to maintain an erection possible with men.

As AS is considered the ultimate male brain, bonding and sexual gratification with another male often becomes beneficial. In my opinion and in the opinion of many clinicians with whom I work, a male aspie can forge a true and meaningful relationship with another man. In most cases, the relationship can be very deep and caring provided the non-aspie is willing to endure the sometimes agonizing consequences of loving an aspie.

For the aspie, he enjoys and benefits from a true and devoted companion and, in time, learns to live in a relation. He should however, be always aware that his partner is living with the aspy's disorder.

While I do not know the sexuality of the poster, I would be quite intersted to know if he has ever experienced a homosexual relationship and, if so, what the experince was.

^^ What a stupid post...

Nah, not stupid, more a long way of saying: "hey, maybe you'd be more attracted to men then women". It is a possibility.