Aspergers and depression

Hello. This is my first time posting here.

I'm 20 years old and I have Asperger's. I am also about 99% certain that I have clinical depression. This has been worsened by family and personal developments in the past few months - including moving out of home so that I now spend most of my time on my own. This is less stressful than living at my parent's house (where I had constant arguments with my sister and father) but as a result I feel more alone than usual.

The problem is that I am scared to seek treatment for the depression. I spent four years as a child doped up on various medications to control mood swings and the like. I have only scattered memories of those years, despite having an extremely good memory overall (as is typical of AS). I don't want to do that again with anti-depressants. I'm also scared that I'll lose the ability to think and write creatively - I'm a very good student and good results are important to my sense of self.

I can't bring myself to risk going back on medication... but the emotional problems are getting worse. What can I do?

You need to change your current way of living and you can do that with or without medication. What you mustn't do is continue living your life as it is because that is clearly worsening your mood.


If you don't want to go back on medication then you could start going to a counsellor regularly at college or work. If you did go back on medication inform your doctor that you want to try a lower dosage at first. I am currently on 5mg of an anti-depressant (Lexapro) which is hardly anything. I have worked that down from 40mg.


With or without the medication you must at least try to be sociable every now and then. I crave time alone too but I am aware that social contact is necessary to prevent severe depression. I mean, I'm depressed constantly but I don't want to be severely depressed. I find that one-on-one meetings are better than group meetings.


Take care,
Kevin.