I fell in love, help!

This post is serious. I know that maybe you don't have trouble when you like someone but I do.

I am asexual and I've never felt attracted sexually by someone but despite this I do fell in love with both girls and boys. However I prefer girls rather than boys because girls are cutest and I'm afraid of the boy's sexual desire.
When I like someone I get OBSSESED with that person. I can't stop thinking about him or her and I strongly desire to meet or see that person right now.
My friend said that this is normal if you fall in love but it kinda stresses me and when I get stressed I begin to think irrationally and suffer a lot. For example: People want to kill me, my friends hate me, aliens are spying on me, people envy me and want to attack my self-esteem...

I fell in love with a girl. She is kind [unfortunately with everyone] and pretty but we aren't even friends. My friends told me that I need to be her friend first and I know that she likes me because she finds my lack of shame and empathy funny and she told me that I'm great but I just don't have the pacience for it. I am delirious and I think that people love me [erotomania?] but it's a mistake because I'm almost always wrong but I can't stop feeling that way...

So... please tell me...

Should I tell her that I love her? Just to be sure if she loves me or not and to stop my hopes if the answer is no. But even having low shame it will be embarassing as ###$ and I'm afraid that she will lie to me because everyone does.. I am very naive.

I won't see her this summer so it has to be with whatsapp and it would be ridiculous lol

Now I realize how stupid is my post but please advise me! My friends don't understand me so I can't tell them about it.

Or maybe there are medications to overcome the paranoia and erotomania? I am so ###$ up.

to quote wikipedia ...

Erotomania is a type of delusion in which the affected person believes that another person, usually a stranger, high-status or famous person, is in love with them. The illness often occurs during psychosis, especially in patients with schizophrenia, delusional disorder or bipolar mania.[1] During an erotomanic episode, the patient believes that a secret admirer is declaring their affection to the patient, often by special glances, signals, telepathy, or messages through the media. Usually the patient then returns the perceived affection by means of letters, phone calls, gifts, and visits to the unwitting recipient. Even though these advances are unexpected and often unwanted, any denial of affection by the object of this delusional love is dismissed by the patient as a ploy to conceal the forbidden love from the rest of the world.[2]

The term erotomania is often confused with obsessive love, obsession with unrequited love, or hypersexuality. Obsessive love is not erotomania by definition. Erotomania is also called de Clérambault's syndrome, after the French psychiatrist Gaëtan Gatian de Clérambault (1872–1934), who published a comprehensive review paper on the subject (Les Psychoses Passionelles) in 1921.

... my bold. sound familiar?

shock_the_monkey wrote:to quote wikipedia ...

Erotomania is a type of delusion in which the affected person believes that another person, usually a stranger, high-status or famous person, is in love with them. The illness often occurs during psychosis, especially in patients with schizophrenia, delusional disorder or bipolar mania.[1] During an erotomanic episode, the patient believes that a secret admirer is declaring their affection to the patient, often by special glances, signals, telepathy, or messages through the media. Usually the patient then returns the perceived affection by means of letters, phone calls, gifts, and visits to the unwitting recipient. Even though these advances are unexpected and often unwanted, any denial of affection by the object of this delusional love is dismissed by the patient as a ploy to conceal the forbidden love from the rest of the world.[2]

The term erotomania is often confused with obsessive love, obsession with unrequited love, or hypersexuality. Obsessive love is not erotomania by definition. Erotomania is also called de Clérambault's syndrome, after the French psychiatrist Gaëtan Gatian de Clérambault (1872–1934), who published a comprehensive review paper on the subject (Les Psychoses Passionelles) in 1921.

... my bold. sound familiar?

Okay I get it. You can't help me and I have to get professional help.

i think there are a lot of aspects of your life that point very firmly to some form of psychosis. and yes, i do think you should seek professional help. my only concern is that this all too often means medication and little else. i'm not convinced that kind of help is actually at all helpful.

but as for the girl, don't say anything. you'll only end up making a fool of yourself. the problem with these kind of ideas is that they can seem very real to the person having them. it's difficult to be sufficiently detached to realise that they're not normal. at the moment you still know the difference between your imagination and reality. truly psychotic people don't.

Without knowing you, or her, or anything about the situation aside from what you've described, I can confidently say that she is not in love with you and that telling her any of this would be disastrous and horrible.

As said previously, do not try to go too far with her without being absolutely sure that she has a mnimum of feelings for you ...

If she turns you down, you might get sad and depressed, and that's not what we wish you ...

My advice would be to first try to get to know her subtely and in a smooth way, try to get ho her personnality truly is, and oly after that try a move ...

I dunno in which context you see her, but if you can, try to get involved in something that might help hher academically or professionnaly, that might contribute to her valuing you even more ...

However, also be aware that your feeling might not be reciprocated ... Thus, you have to be prepared for it and try to slow down you obsession as much as possible ...

Another point very important : by getting to know her better, you might discover that the representation of how she's like in you head may be wronged by itself and your obsession slow down on its own (that's only an option ...)

If your obsession was to persist, the best way i can propose to get rid of an unwanted obsession before it gets to stalking (that might come even uncounsciously and sometimes people aren't even aware they are stalkin ghte other because of their strong desire to be with the person) is :

-try to occupy your time with A LOT of activities

-try to get many new people that might bring distraction to your life

- if possible and if you haven't already (that wasnt precised i your post), try to get someone in your life (yes, i mean a girlfriend), this way you coul realiez that there was not ONLY THIS ONE GIRL, even if at firstt that could seem pretty unfeasible and even impossible ...

Well, hope that its gonna help (by the way i've PMed you about a similar topic to get your opinion ...)

I truly hope that it will work with this girl but if not dont get too deceived ...

Bye !!

shock_the_monkey wrote:i think there are a lot of aspects of your life that point very firmly to some form of psychosis. and yes, i do think you should seek professional help. my only concern is that this all too often means medication and little else. i'm not convinced that kind of help is actually at all helpful.

but as for the girl, don't say anything. you'll only end up making a fool of yourself. the problem with these kind of ideas is that they can seem very real to the person having them. it's difficult to be sufficiently detached to realise that they're not normal. at the moment you still know the difference between your imagination and reality. truly psychotic people don't.

Yes, those kind of ideas look like absolutely real to me and I always need proof that they are not real but even though proofs don't work. For example yesterday I went to a party and she was there but she hasn't even noticed me so I realized that it was just my imagination [Moments later I escaped from the party because the loud music scared the $#%^ out of me lol]. But the next day... I began to believe that she ignored me because she was trying to hide what she was feeling about me.

Its weird because I am convinced that it's true but on the other hand I know that it's my imagination. It's like two people inside me.

I found out that the best way avoiding love obsession is to believe and accept that I can't get couple because of being very autistic. Or maybe I just have to wait to be given medicine so I won't have to underestimate myself.

Anyway I'm sorry chochou but I don't like talking about my irrational ideas. It sometimes makes them stronger so I'll reply your post later if when feeling better.

for what it's worth, i've decided to give up on the hope of ever having a relationship. they don't seem to work for me. my heart is in the right place but people never seem to see that. so, no more trying. i'll just live my life as best i can all alone.

i got love for all'yall

but really i don't get it
relationships just look like a lot of work to me (even if they work out)
nothing more nothing less

i think my father's got the right idea
be lazy his entire life
than get maried to a rich woman at 56
(and than lacture his kids about responsabilety he cracks me up how can i ever take someone like that serious)

hi catslave, this thread is only a month old. but if its as serious
as what i went through then i can say from my experience that
avoiding embarissment will only make you hate yourself more in the end.
you deserve it when you avoid it.
it is possible that you will be in love and obsessed with her forever.

i was eye-diagnosed with asperger but never receved a clinical diagnosis.
when i was in 8th grade i fell in love with a girl
but never found the courage to talk to her ever.
i let thousands of opportunities pass. all i did was stalk her.
now im 23 i haven't seen her in 4 years and
i still feel rewarded when i think about seeing her again.
i never had a girlfriend and as i am now i dont think im fit to be with anyone
though im still trying to work up the courage to ask my friend to introduce me to her
i dont know how she will react but its never going to stop eating at me.
even if she strings me along and uses me it will be a life worth living
cause when you have a$s-burgers you'll be happier by accepting your life is a joke
someone has got to do it. its a noble and humbling pursuit.

so if you or any other aspie experiencing some kind of obsessive radicalized love
didnt tell her, try to understand that you have to.
if you did not see the book of mormon do what this song says
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq0SvQRxt3Y
seriously or you'll be sorry