I think my brother is an Asperger

Hello!

I am seeking for help for my brother. He is about to turn 15, I'm his only sister, I'm 21. We have always been very close and I think I know him better than anyone so I think I may be the one who will be able to help him.

My brother sounds like an Asperger. I started reading about this two days ago, after he came home with his grades. Out of 12 subjects, he failed 7. He's been failing for two years (but until now he hasn't repeated any year), and he had promised this time he would pass. It didn't make sense to me because... how can such an intelligent boy get so bad grades?

He is very intelligent (anyone who talks to him for 5 minutes will notice that) and has an impressive memory (I noticed that very early, maybe he was 4 when I started telling my parents: this boy's memory is not normal, it's outstanding). There are a few topics he is obsessed with (namely computers, graphic design and cars). He only talks about that or about science in general. He knows a lot about computers and I would say he is almost an expert in some aspects. You will never see him talking about personal or social matters, he only talks about those topics that he likes without noticing that he bores people.

He doesn't have friends at school (I guess it is because he has no common interests with kids of his age because even though they may like computers, he sounds like a professor when he talks). He is pompous in the way he talks, you would never think he is just 14... and well, now he's a bit older, but he was like this even when he was 8! He can spend hours reading about any subject that interests him, that is the only way he likes to study. He says he likes to be alone.

When it comes to school, I think he has a problem with concentration and synthesizing information. I think he can't answer questions correctly because he doesn't get the sense of each question.

He is very sensitive (he cries if you tell him off), has a great heart, is a quiet kid (although he talks a lot when he talks about his favorite subjects), hates going out, if you don't take him out he can spend weeks at home, hates sports, is clumsy, often breaks things by accident. He has problems to sleep. He has a very sensitive skin (has allergies sometimes) and is sensitive to touch, for example he can't touch peaches.

The only symptom I don't find in him is that he does understand gestures and I would say he's very expressive. He likes being hugged or giving hugs (well, actually only to me or to my parents, I don't think he'd do that with others).

I think he likes being the center of attention sometimes, he likes to be funny or to show off about the stuff he knows but he is unable to understand that it might be inappropiate and that people may see him as a weird person.

We will take him soon to an expert to do a diagnose (I think we'll have to wait for the appointment for two or three months), but until then I would like to know your opinions.

I would like some advice too... how can I help him? How can I make him be successful at school? How can I encourage him to go out and meet new people? Thank you

Sounds very much like it could be AS. If it is, I'm not sure if your helping him go out or make friends will help him. I remember when I was younger getting very stressed out merely when a friend asked me to spend the night at his house. Chances are anything new, or not in his normal routine will cause him a certain amount of stress. He probably enjoys being alone and probably always will.

He might need as much help with school as he can get. I would come into school early and stay late almost every day to get help with my schoolwork and I still barely completed high school. And I graduated with a 1.7 GPA - and that's after pulling it up at the end.
I assume his school has a program that will allow him to recieve extra help on his work.

I'd suggest, if you haven't already, have him browse this site and learn a little more about AS. It has helped me understand a lot about why I am the way I am, and that's it's okay. And hopefully it will help him as well.

The most help for him will probably come from the people he cares about most, understanding why he is the way he is and accepting him for that.