This all sounds like ME!

My life has been marked by feeling outside in social situations. I never felt like I fit in with many social groups. If I did, I always was scared of that the person was just playing me along- like the butt of a joke or something. I have a really hard time feeling accepted by people. I don't feel loved by my wife unless she is paying attention to me- if she goes off doing her own thing, I feel unaccepted. People chewing drives me nuts. I squint all the time, I always flex the muscles around my nose and mouth when I am trying to do something- like typing this. I have never really been able to keep up with any class. I feel like the class is discussing topics and I have no idea what's going on even though I am in the same class. I generally used to behave anyway I could to get the acceptance of others even if it was dangerous or illegal. I do have quite a few friends, but I almost always miss social queues. Like I don't want to be disrespected and if somebody is disrespectful to me, I don't see it. I have a hard time communicating on an emotional level- I almost get competitive and fail to see their point. I get moody and irritable less frequently now only because I've been on Lexapro 20mg/day for GAD. I did seem to have much less of a problem when I started Adderall for ADD, but as I got used to it, I back to feeling foggy at times. I'm always bouncing my leg. I also feel that I am misread. Like people think I'm angry when I'm not etc.

The more I read in this forum, the more I can relate to all of it. Interestingly enough, I always remember my father being emotionless except for anger/rage. He also used to twist his napkin into a point.

Well, I was diagnosed with Asperger's and what you just wrote could easily have been written by me about my life (Alas, I have no wife though! - I'm 23 years old).

I thought that working on the ADD issue would solve the problem, but 3 months into it- I still seem to be missing something. From a very early age I remember feeling on the outside, but couldn't figure out why. I've always been considered weird and strange. I am 37 and feeling so alone.

Through my childhood I always felt on the outside but now I am capable of interacting somewhat (When I feel up to it). For us, I think it is important to have a job that involves human interaction... ...because otherwise we would pretty much live our life alone to our own devices.


You feel alone? What about your wife...?


Kevster

I always felt like I didn't belong- even if I was included. I was always referred to as weird, but I just went along with it. I thought i was trying to be funny, but it always turned people off. Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and not understanding why it was wrong. My wife is very confusing to me. She appears to behave a lot like HPD, ASPD and to a lesser extent BPD. I have a post on BPD and HPD forums that really explain what this has been like for me and how she behaves. My wife says that I caused her to behave like she does- I just don't buy it. Nobody lies and is that self-centered as she is and just continues to be that way. I am going to leave her- I've got nothing left for her. It's sad because I have a baby girl with her that is so wonderful and this is going to affect her for a lifetime.

Well, you appear to have a vague plan for your future so my only advice to you is to get things sorted-out now - Don't let them linger.